Need Relationship Advice, Please!

[kaylagrl]

Somebody make me a sammich!

I'd make you a sammich brother, I like you In fact, if you were a guest in my home you'd have better than just a sammich. That's if you like pulled pork that is.

 

[Lightskin]

I'd make you a sammich brother, I like you In fact, if you were a guest in my home you'd have better than just a sammich. That's if you like pulled pork that is.

My wonderful sister, I am not worthy to enter your home, but I rejoice knowing in my heart that you and your husband make a rockin’ pulled pork sandwich.

That reminds me, I’m going out to a Portuguese barbecue restaurant tonight. They cook ribs and chicken on an open Spicket. The food quality is fantastic and the quantity is so much that for most people it takes at least two sittings to finish a complete meal.

 

[A-Fool-For-God]

I know I'm about to waste my breath, but this is more to the OP couple than to you. My hubby can cook, clean and do the laundry. He was a bachelor for much of his life. When he was dating me he said "I'm not marrying you because I need a housewife, I'm marrying because I love you". Now that we are married he cooks, I clean or I cook, he cleans. That's called a partnership. He knows how to use a vacuum and if I'm away I don't come back to a dirty home. And I don't work outside the home.

As to you "beta" male junk, hubby is 6'4, 215 and was an all American. He has his CCW and has coached little league several times though we have no children of our own. Loves sports, but he also loves his wife. He doesn't sit on his rump demanding I run for his every whim. He doesn't need a mommy to look after him, he's fully able to care for himself. Which makes it that much more special that he compliments how I care for our home, how I clean,cook and bake. That is a partnership, that is what a marriage is. I'm really hoping you are single and remain single till you grow the freak up!!!

Lol that's a tall beta male! The woman stays home and tends to the man's children and the man works and is the bossman of the family, this is the natural order of God, alpha male.

When you taking care of other people's kids and marrying multiple womens or just generally being the "male housewife" and let your woman run around the hellsoup of society you are a total beta male! It would be better to die as a virgin unloved by the world, a divorced man who can retire to peace and quiet of solitude, or die in battle gloriously in the flower of your youth for your people than to die as a totally servile beta male! There will be no respect for beta males and even the little children know it.

Read that Esther 1, no kings can bear beta males.

 

[kaylagrl]

Husband: I have the best wife, given, and a gift, from God. She is Christian school teacher of 15 years and now home school mom of four foster/adopted treasures. We own a growing business and still find time to spend a lot of family time together. I am servant leader and happy at home. We are just looking for Christian community advice on the communication question. We agreed together to ask the community for consensus. We are both reading these posts.
HG

First, I hope you both stick around. That said I'll tell you a story. I use to be in traveling ministry in a family group. We had a pastor and wife friends that we stopped in to stay with a couple days on our way to the US. They had a set of twins, one with a bad heart and the eldest, all boys under 5yrs old. Hard enough to have twin babies, but the little one being sick made it harder on the wife especially. She was a nurse across the border, he of course was busy as pastor of a good size church. Their house was a mess, I mean mess!! It looked like a bomb went off. Sticky dirty floors,clothes everywhere, everywhere was a mess. She kept apologizing for everything.

So one day when they were out myself,my mother and my sister went to work. We went through her entire house. We cleaned, we vacuumed, dusted, washed the floor, did the laundry and folded it. The house was sparkling when they both came home from work. They didn't know what to say, she was choking back tears, they were stunned to silence. When she could finally speak she thanked us and hugged us each telling us we'd never know what it meant to her. We didn't know something so small would make such an impact. It was like we had given her a million dollars.

So the moral of the story is this. You admit your wife is a wonderful woman, but also a very busy woman. It fact it seems you both are. This is what I would say, where you see a mess, help your wife out and clean it. Don't point it out to her, that is not much to clean up, help her joyfully. And to your wife, teach your children to help in clean up (maybe you have already) but don't try to do it all yourself. You need their help. Yes, hubby was a bit bone headed to send you that text, but as my hubby says " I'm a man and from time to time I will do stupid things,cause I'm a man. Forgive me." lol Be good to each other and patient, you seem to have a big load on your shoulders. And God bless you for adopting children and giving them a Godly,loving home.

 

[kaylagrl]

My wonderful sister, I am not worthy to enter your home, but I rejoice knowing in my heart that you and your husband make a rockin’ pulled pork sandwich.

That reminds me, I’m going out to a Portuguese barbecue restaurant tonight. They cook ribs and chicken on an open Spicket. The food quality is fantastic and the quantity is so much that for most people it takes at least two sittings to finish a complete meal.

Ok, now I'm hungry. lol Pulled pork is a big deal here in the south. And of course coleslaw is a must to go with it. So I got a good recipe for both and tried it out on hubby, he's my taste tester. If he doesn't like it, I don't make it again. So I sat waiting for his opinion. After several bites he said "Babe,this is good enough to get at a restaurant, you could sell this" Score!!! Luckily for me his mom was a working woman and not much of a cook. rofl That may be the highest compliment he's given me yet. I make a mean three layer carrot cake too!!

 

[7seasrekeyed]

ive seen a looooooot worse messes!!!

oh yeah

I could clean that up with my eyes closed and one hand behind my back

 

[kaylagrl]

Lol that's a tall beta male! The woman stays home and tends to the man's children and the man works and is the bossman of the family, this is the natural order of God, alpha male.

Hahaa he'd totally kick your wide behind. I do stay at home, luckily the Lord has blessed us to be able to do that. A real man doesn't need the opinion of others to tell him what a man is. A real man is comfortable in who he is.

When you taking care of other people's kids and marrying multiple womens or just generally being the "male housewife" and let your woman run around the hellsoup of society you are a total beta male!

Everything you just said is complete and utter nonsense. Please don't tell unbelievers you're a Christian, you're giving us a bad name.

It would be better to die as a virgin unloved by the world, a divorced man who can retire to peace and quiet of solitude, or die in battle gloriously in the flower of your youth for your people than to die as a totally servile beta male!
There will be no respect for beta males and even the little children know it.

I might agree if you knew what a beta male was, or that beta male has nothing to do with a man that truly follows Jesus' example, or were mature in any of your opinions. But alas I'm clearly dealing with a troll who thinks he's being funny. He isn't.

Read that Esther 1, no kings can bear beta males.

 

[7seasrekeyed]

I know I'm about to waste my breath, but this is more to the OP couple than to you. My hubby can cook, clean and do the laundry. He was a bachelor for much of his life. When he was dating me he said "I'm not marrying you because I need a housewife, I'm marrying because I love you". Now that we are married he cooks, I clean or I cook, he cleans. That's called a partnership. He knows how to use a vacuum and if I'm away I don't come back to a dirty home. And I don't work outside the home.

As to you "beta" male junk, hubby is 6'4, 215 and was an all American. He has his CCW and has coached little league several times though we have no children of our own. Loves sports, but he also loves his wife. He doesn't sit on his rump demanding I run for his every whim. He doesn't need a mommy to look after him, he's fully able to care for himself. Which makes it that much more special that he compliments how I care for our home, how I clean,cook and bake. That is a partnership, that is what a marriage is. I'm really hoping you are single and remain single till you grow the freak up!!!

yay you!!

not anybody's mommy either while mine doesn't cook...except for a few things...there isn't much he can't do with regards to things around the home and he does pass the mop almost every morning...with our hairy houdini dogs that's a big help...and sometimes vacuums too

grow up? you might be talking to some 80 year old who misses the good ole days

 

[7seasrekeyed]

a fool for God

huh

pretty sure God prefers followers and not fools

well, to your own self be true and you appear to be

 

[7seasrekeyed]

to the op(s)

are you sure it is only the not really very messy mess that is bugging you?

sounds like it might be a bit of a cherry on top

 

[HollisGentry]

Lol if she the best why you here? Lol the husband is the leader, don't let the woman talk you into relying on society's opinion about a text, society is full of fools, be the man and tell that woman to do the dishes and once they dishes are done make real babies, don't be doing all them adoptions.

Wow. Not sure I would ever know how to respond to that.
HG

 

[HollisGentry]

First, I hope you both stick around. That said I'll tell you a story. I use to be in traveling ministry in a family group. We had a pastor and wife friends that we stopped in to stay with a couple days on our way to the US. They had a set of twins, one with a bad heart and the eldest, all boys under 5yrs old. Hard enough to have twin babies, but the little one being sick made it harder on the wife especially. She was a nurse across the border, he of course was busy as pastor of a good size church. Their house was a mess, I mean mess!! It looked like a bomb went off. Sticky dirty floors,clothes everywhere, everywhere was a mess. She kept apologizing for everything.

So one day when they were out myself,my mother and my sister went to work. We went through her entire house. We cleaned, we vacuumed, dusted, washed the floor, did the laundry and folded it. The house was sparkling when they both came home from work. They didn't know what to say, she was choking back tears, they were stunned to silence. When she could finally speak she thanked us and hugged us each telling us we'd never know what it meant to her. We didn't know something so small would make such an impact. It was like we had given her a million dollars.

So the moral of the story is this. You admit your wife is a wonderful woman, but also a very busy woman. It fact it seems you both are. This is what I would say, where you see a mess, help your wife out and clean it. Don't point it out to her, that is not much to clean up, help her joyfully. And to your wife, teach your children to help in clean up (maybe you have already) but don't try to do it all yourself. You need their help. Yes, hubby was a bit bone headed to send you that text, but as my hubby says " I'm a man and from time to time I will do stupid things,cause I'm a man. Forgive me." lol Be good to each other and patient, you seem to have a big load on your shoulders. And God bless you for adopting children and giving them a Godly,loving home.

Hubby: Yes, she is very busy. The kids should be cleaning up after themselves. We all clean up after ourselves and do general cleaning/fixing/maintenance. She shouldn't have to clean up after them. They are old enough. I do my part and am pretty much self-sufficient and provide for at least one night per week that she can go out and be away from it all. It is our pleasure to have these amazing kiddos in our home. Please pray for us and them. Thanks so much.

 

[blue_ladybug]

Wow. Not sure I would ever know how to respond to that.
HG

Don't even bother. That person is obviously a troll, with issues of their own..

 

[NotmebutHim]

Wow, this has turned out to be a rather interesting thread. There was a member here a few years ago named Ageofknowledge. He was a defender of men and masculinity, but I would dare say that even he would be aghast at what AFFG has posted.

 

[blue_ladybug]

Wow, this has turned out to be a rather interesting thread. There was a member here a few years ago named Ageofknowledge. He was a defender of men and masculinity, but I would dare say that even he would be aghast at what AFFG has posted.

Nah Michael, that isn't Ageofknowlege..

 

[Godsgirl83]

make real babies, don't be doing all them adoptions.

WOW!!!
What a cold heartless thing to say!!!!
You know what?
SOME PEOPLE are unable to have children for whatever reasons!!!!!
YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE!!!!!?????
It takes a special type of man to step in and take on someone else's child as their own!!!!! (Women usually adapt to the mothering role much easier regardless of being birth child/foster/adopted than men do )
I know many people that foster/adopt. These men are very special and very rare.
Usually, I'll post scripture to support where I'm referencing, but maybe it would be good to do some studies for yourself......
the Bible (God's written word ) says plenty about caring for the orphans.

 

[NotmebutHim]

Nah Michael, that isn't Ageofknowlege..

Oh I know it's a different person; I was comparing their posting styles. I was saying that AoK was tame compared to AFFG.

 

[tasha66]

I'm middle aged now and if we had left the kitchen in that sort of mess at home when young, and we didn't own up to it, my Mum would've whipped us all with a belt once on the back of the legs. Harsh I know, but my Dad worked long hours, and Mum had 6 wild kids to care for. I tell you what: we learned manners from an early age the hard way. Even now when I visit back at home, I never take anything out of the fridge to eat that isn't mine - I always ask permission, because that is how we were raised.
I make my great nieces and nephews clean up their mess. Sometimes kids just forget & need a gentle reminder. Just make them clean up as they go along, & give lots of encouragement.
Were you not home at the time as the pic was sent to you? i'm a bit confused by this post TBH.

 

[Mii]

Husband: I have the best wife, given, and a gift, from God. She is Christian school teacher of 15 years and now home school mom of four foster/adopted treasures. We own a growing business and still find time to spend a lot of family time together. I am servant leader and happy at home. We are just looking for Christian community advice on the communication question. We agreed together to ask the community for consensus. We are both reading these posts.
HG

My advice...move on.

Everything in life can be hyper analyzed though the utility of doing so is debatable.


Moods vary. One day something like that would put me in a foul mood if I've already had a trying day and nothing seems to be going right and then on top of that.......

Another mood...well someone had an active night. Call it a "life party" they did life...sometimes it's messy. Not everyone is the best at clean up.

and much like playing basketball (random example) some are going to be better players in the cleaning game than others. It takes patience and it takes discipline and everyone has a different ability to "learn their lesson" and it looks differently.



Certainly entitled to being irritated and thank you for posting, sometimes even for tiny things it's good to have input.

Even sometimes in Jest I "take a vote" from the community in order to prove a point. Of course even when the vote is in my favor doesn't necessarily make me right but it does affirm that opinions differ and it isn't quite so simple...not that it's exceptionally complex to the Lord but you know...

 

[melita916]

does this happen often? Did you talk about it as a family?

some children need to be reminded often about their responsibilities. Heck we as adults forget our responsibilities lol.