Great topic, and I totally dig the honesty in your post.
I've done this a lot in my life as well. I think it's part of our human nature under the influence of sin -- we always want to reap maximum rewards without even working or sowing, and if we do succeed, we always wants to believe it's our own ability that got us there.
I always thought it would be cool to be able to speak other languages. One of my favorite types of scenes in movies are when a main character is assumed to be some kind of dumb foreigner who couldn't possibly know anything, let alone another language, and then winds up blowing everyone out of the water because hide their ability until just the right time. A few examples in movies and shows when John Wick is insulted in Russian, but answers the guy right back; Dani in Game of Thrones when she reveals that Valyrian is her "mother tongue" ; the brothers in The Boondock Saints; and, my favorite, Joseph (the son of Jacob), who sat on the throne of Egypt, and, unknown to them, could understand everything his brothers said when they came to buy grain.
I have a friend who was in a place where English is only spoken as a tourist language, and the staff was openly talking about him and his situation in front of him, assuming he couldn't understand. Little did they know that he was fluent in the local language, having spent a few years immersed in it. As they talked among themselves in their own language, my friend started answering all their questions and comments in English without being directly asked, and they just looked at him in utter bewilderment.
I've always thought it would be cool to have a moment like this, like a super power right out of flashy comic book.
But then I realize I've been watching "A Bad Lip Reading" videos for the past 30 minutes when I could have put that time into study.
I don't know if those with an aptitude for language have some kind of "special link" in their brain in which the sound, syntax, and system of a language all seems to "click" for them as they go along, but for me, any kind of learning is a painful cycle of dreadful repetition and rote memorization (which I'm not good at anyway), and I soon grow distracted and discouraged.
I've come to settle on the fact that one thing I do like practicing is using the one language I do know (sort of, at least
) to communicate with other people about their lives and experiences.
Morefaithrequired, are there any things you're passionate about, but also enjoy putting the time into them?
Maybe you're not a rock star, but I hope you have hobbies that bring you joy even if the stage is just a corner in your own room.
Best wishes to you!