problems with sexual temptation, if someone is able to help me!!!

[Krumbeard]

Hello thank you for being honest.

The Barna Group, in partnership with Josh McDowell Ministry, has created a landmark study on the pervasive nature of Internet pornography and its impact on the church. Titled The Porn Phenomenon: The Explosive Growth of Pornography and How It’s Impacting Your Church, Life, and Ministry.

https://www.josh.org/key-findings-in-landmark-pornography-study-released

Let's look at some data to see the scope and effects of porn in society and the church.

1. Over 40 million Americans are regular visitors to porn sites. The average visit lasts 6 minutes and 29 seconds
2. There are around 42 million porn websites, which totals around 370 million pages of porn.
3. The porn industry's annual revenue is more than the NFL, NBA and MLB combined. It is also more than the combined revenues of ABC, CBS and NBC.
4. 47 percent of families in the United States reported that pornography is a problem in their home.
5. Pornography use increases the marital infidelity rate by more than 300 percent.
6. Eleven is the average age that a child is first exposed to porn, and 94 percent of children will see porn by the age of 14.
7. 56 percent of American divorces involve one party having an "obsessive interest" in pornographic websites.
8. 70 percent of Christian youth pastors report that they have had at least one teen come to them for help in dealing with pornography in the past 12 months.
9. 68 percent of church-going men and over 50 percent of pastors view porn on a regular basis. Of young Christian adults 18-24 years old, 76 percent actively search for porn.
10. 59 percent of pastors said that married men seek their help for porn use.
11. 33 percent of women aged 25-and-under search for porn at least once per month.
12. Only 13 percent of self-identified Christian women say they never watch porn—87 percent of Christian women have watched porn.
13. 55 percent of married men and 25 percent of married women say they watch porn at least once a month.
14. 57 percent of pastors say porn addiction is the most damaging issue in their congregation. And 69 percent say porn has adversely impacted the church.
15. Only 7 percent of pastors say their church has a program to help people struggling with pornography.

And this is just those who was honest....

As a teenager I delt with this because I thought it was normal. My friends was watching pornography and even my dad I caught watching it a few times.

What changed my heart was learning how much of the sex trade is linked to pornography,

http://richmondjusticeinitiative.com/the-connections-between-pornography-and-sex-trafficking

how much abortion clinics are funded by pornographic media organizations,

The link between pornography and abortion.
https://downloads.frc.org/EF/EF17K24.pdf

Effects on society as it destroys families, unhealthy families produces unhealthy children, unhealthy children are not law abiding and pornography degrades morals as for example how Ted Bundy once admitted how hardcore pornography led to his sexual female murdering spree.

Also realizing that is someone's daughter on the screen made in the image of God having to preform in such degrading situations and if you have a girlfriend or wife the psychological effects on them can be heartbreaking.

I gave it up back in Highschool as I started dating my now wife. Of all those reasons the number 1 reason that I couldn't stomach was breaking her heart. I was honest with her and she has been the best accountability partner. Doesn't mean I'm not still tempted by the images of women for example Paul explains this battle of will.

Romans 7:19-25 New International Version (NIV)
19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

Your evil or sin is in the same context of sin that Paul delt with daily. But as Paul explains below I grew in Christ and now yes I no longer look at pornography but those same triggers that spark hormones still act on me if I dont quickly as Paul says to discipline the body then the only expectation is to fall in sin. Which is why I and any sinner should be just like Paul and repeat thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

1 Corinthians 9:24-27 New International Version (NIV)
The Need for Self-Discipline
24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25 Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26 Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. 27 No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

This is great information!
Thanks for putting it out there!

 

[Krumbeard]

It is a war within us both spiritually and physically. Unfortunately war can leave us with trauma and the result of losing the war (sin) can cause damage mentally as sin is destructive.

Your brain has been rewired like a addict to a drug. To detox you must get rid of any source, throw it away, block it, put a random lock code, and acknowledge the times when you are most tempted. Locate what triggers the hormones like if a provocative image in a magazine and do your best to remove triggers or atleast limit them.

You must replace the habit with a good habit until your brain rewired itself. Or until your new habit takes over.

Here is a good resource to download.

https://www.josh.org/resources/apologetics/research

Scroll to the bottom and you will see The Porn Epidemic

• Chapter 1: Introduction
• Chapter 2: The Extent of the Problem
• Chapter 3: Consequences
• Chapter 4: Pornography and the Brain
• Chapter 5: Solutions
• Chapter 6: Illustrations
• Chapter 7: Jill Manning Testimony (US Senate)
• Chapter 8: Stories

• Chapter 9: The Porn Phenomenon Study (Barna)
• Chapter 10: Why Do I Continue to Struggle?
• Chapter 11: Talk To Your Child About Pornography
• Chapter 12: Quotes Chapter
• Chapter 13: Sexual Harassment
• Chapter 14: Virtual Reality
• Chapter 15: Voices Against Pornography
• Chapter 16: Resources for Overcoming Pornography

Now stop feeling guilty and regretful. Once you have repented, move on and do better. You will lose some but win some. Obviously if you over time are worse or stagnant then it could be time to seek professional help. Remember the Devil wants you to stay in guilt in which keeps you from God even longer. Jesus has already paid for your sins so all your doing is fixing your relationship that was separated or damaged by the sin.

Hormones can be just as powerful as a actual intoxicating drug. So it isnt abnormal once you get to that point your no longer making logical choices. So until your brain is rewired you must make every precaution to limit this.

But your also a Male and most males are attracted to the opposite sex. This is normal but where does your mind go? Every action comes from a thought or thoughts. Control your thoughts and usually the action will not follow.

Private message me if you need to chat more. This is by percentage unfortunately and largely a sin many Christians struggle with both men and women. So we treat it like any other sin. No shame gaming or judgement but only love, guidance and accountability.

Thanks for sharing!

 

[Roughsoul1991]

This is great information!
Thanks for putting it out there!

No problem stats and research helps put everything in the right perspective. Every sin can evidently be proven to be harmful. The Bible says to turn from sin and reality can testify to that statement.

 

[PANCAKES]

Understanding this myself, I think the only way out is through Jesus. Pour over the word, eat it like your life depends on it (because it does). Seek loving God with your whole heart, above your wife, above yourself, above anything. Seek Him for Him.

just some things to take into consideration:

1. Idolatry: Are you valuing your own thoughts and ideas and desires above Gods? If you do, you have made yourself an idol.

this manifested as unbelief in God words and his thoughts. My own would overrule everything he said (and I was blind to it). I would read the bible and agree with everything said. I KNEW it was right and good. Yet I did not believe truly. My faith was not genuine (see 1 Peter).

2. Where are you placing your hope? other ways to phrase this is: what do you hope for? who are you hoping in? what idea/dream do you have in your mind that you are placing your hopes in? What is your desire?

I'll give you an example for myself. I desired to be free of depression for a long time, and I eventually put my hope in this desire. I said "if I was free of depression, I could do more for God....I could be happy....I would be satisfied."


If you are believing that you could be satisfied with an idea, a desire..... you have believed a lie. True satisfaction is in the Lord only. Do you truly believe this?

We must actively pour over the word and seek loving God above all else. Proverbs 19:22 says "what a man desires is unfailing love; better to be poor than a liar."

We must also understand and BELIEVE that Jesus died, and was raised and is alive; and God (who is just, but who also loves deeply) did this so that we have a way out (eventually, not yet, it's coming soon, read 1 Peter THOROUGHLY) of our flesh that is constantly at war with God and his thoughts and ideas. A flesh that sins and separates us from God who is LIFE.

If you do not believe, ask him for the belief and faith. Also, read about Abraham and his faith concerning sacrificing his own son because God told him to do it.

in Christ,
Pancakes

 

[morefaithrequired]

Best to regain that cool calm detached mode we are all capable of. Im not going to add salt to your guilt by making you feel worse. You have been honest enough to admit your sin to us. How many of us are willing to admit our sins on here? very few. maybe some of us think we dont sin any more? well Jesus might have news for us
Dont be obsessed by the sin. Just be aware how its controlling you. Just like drugs were. Why be a slave. From my experience of slavery to alcohol smoking and gambling, it stunts your growth as a human being. You stay a child when God wants us to grow up. For our own benefit and our loved ones.

 

[lightbearer]

yes she knows. but the problem is that she knows that I'm free now (i was was addicted but for the last 6 months i was free) but now... this week I felt agin

Would you be willing to talk to your pastor and or elders in your church.

 

[tojomy]

My husband became addicted to porn and it had been going on for some time. I came home one evening and went to the computer to check my emails. He did not know that I was home and I walked in and saw him looking at it. I confronted him and checked the deleted files and there was a number that I could not count of porn files. I had been away from home most of the day and he had been off from work that day. He would empty the recycle bin before I would get home each time. He told me it had been going on for a very long time.

I'm going to be brutally honest in regard to some things that transpired after that. I was angry. I felt betrayed and cut to the bone but I also saw the effects of pornography on him and it explained some things I did not understand between he and I. I had a sense of separation in our marriage some time ago. He had also began experiencing physical obstacles (I won't go into details here) in our intimacy. He carried a burden of shame and sullenness all of the time and I did not know why. So now we are both broken at that time and we are both in desperate need of the deliverance and healing power of Jesus.

Did it happen? Praise God it did!! We have been married 25 years this February. That was 14 years ago. How did it happen? NOT OVER NIGHT.
The confrontation brought about a brokenness in him. It was a sincere brokenness that God was able to reach into and mend. It is the first step.

He went to our Pastor in openness. And continued to meet with him several times thereafter. He allowed true men of God to pray with him and became accountable to them (and me). They did not judge him. They loved him and helped him. When he did sense that addiction trying to sink or I should say slink back he used the "two edged sword of God" and would declare the Word against it. That stronghold had to be torn down brick by brick.

BUT this took time. He is free but still accountable. It was a rough time. I might add while he was going thru it all I was still left with the mess in my own heart of it all. But that's for another time. You are in my prayers my brother. We will love you through it. Your sister in Christ.