My Struggle: Less than 4 Months for HIS WILL

[Solemateleft]

We were married for 26 years (I thought it would last forever); we've been separated since she left two years ago...
The lawyers have established a 12 August Court Date (to end the marriage) with an agreement to reach a settlement in advance.
I've striven to give all my burdens and struggles to our lord...
I've struggled thru all the emotional phases and coping mechanisms...
I've accepted my faults (roles & responsibilities) and my limitations (human stresses) and I've sought and prayed for HIS forgiveness.
I've prayed for the lord to touch my wife's heart in hopes that she would find her way home...
I've striven to maintain my optimistic positive outlook giving all my trust and faith in HIM...
I've tried to prepare myself to be prepared to accept HIS WILL...
- I convinced myself that all could be forgiven if she were to miraculously find her way home...
- I tried to convince myself that if OUR LORD allows this marriage to end - that HE must have grander plans in store for me...

I didn't expect the court date would come so soon (albeit has been 2 years) - I was trying to drag it out in hopes that in time HE might be able to work a miracle upon her heart & soul for her return...

I didn't expect that the court date would align with the timing of my youngest son's departure for college.
I had assumed that I would have/find time to redefine myself...
I did not anticipate ever being all alone... and not for the rest of my life...

I do not have it within me to 'Quit' - I've never quit at anything my entire life (have had lots of stumbles)...
I am not prepared to give up on my vows (loyalty is woven within the fiber of my being)...
I believe that these last several months will be harder than I had ever anticipated...
I have been kidding myself that it would be so easy to find comfort elsewhere...
BUT I now know that it is HIS WILL (not mine) as to if, when, or whom I might be blessed with as a companion along my journey...
and I believe that now is the time for a 'Hail Mary' (pun intended); now is the time for me to acknowledge her struggles and forgive her and to pray to our lord for her soul, and for her salvation - for she knows not what she does (she remains lost in a severe state of depression with struggles/roots that trace back to her childhood)...

Please pray for her, for me and for our strength thru these last several months as our lord's Will shall become...

 

[ThirstyForTruth]

Thank you for your post. Since many of us go through similar strugles. It is stregthening to folow our Savior and to put our hope in Him. God bless you and give you courage to folow His will in all days of your life.

 

[levi85]

Lord lay this matter before you, please bless Solemateleft and his wife. Lord as they are heading towards divorce. Let you bless them and help them to obey your will in their marriage. Please bless this prayer request, in Jesus Almighty name, Amen!

 

[Sweetmorningdew78]

I don't know you personally but I admire you for fighting for your marriage sir solemateleft God bless you and your family ❤


Father please help sir solemateleft and his family help them through this difficult time. Heal any pain caused by the separation let your Holy Spirit comfort and strengthen them. Guide them and may your will be done in their lives. Equip them with patience and restore their broken hearts. I also pray for his wife to turn to YOU and commit her life to You. Thank you Lord in JESUS gracious name Amen ❤

 

[Bingo]

'Praise God'

 

[Solemateleft]

Thank you for all of your spiritual and moral support... I greatly appreciate it... God Bless

 

[Solemateleft]

For those who are keeping tabs at home - here is a brief update...
Today I strapped on my trusty hiking boots as Rollo and I set out on a 5 mile hike on the South Valley Trail in Prince William Park... Interestingly, about a mile into it - the SOLE of my right boot came off...
But I didn't quit, I saved that SOLE and I'm determined to find a shoe repair specialist to help me to preserve my trusted boots for future use...

HIS messages are always very symbolic...
as Geni reminded me via a morning email that today was the 28th anniversary of our marital union; which short of a miracle will become legally severed in just 16 days (12 Aug)... Albeit in the eyes of our Lord and faith it remains eternal...

As I prepare myself for this major milestone and transition... As it will be extra tough in the coming weeks/months as ALL my kids will be out of the house for the first time ever in the 3rd week of August when Fall semesters begin for colleges...
I'm trying to convince myself that I need to be alone for a while - to stand on my own feet - to both find myself and to strengthen my relationship with HIM...

Praying for his blessings, grace and for his enlightenment... As I know that I will have to over-come my personal vulnerabilities in order to persevere and become the best version of me possible in HIS eyes...
God Bless...

 

[Leastamongmany]

Ohhhh I am so sorry! We just never know what each other are really suffering thru! All I can offer you is condolences and prayer that you find comfort in Him! I really am sorry and will continue to hold you high to Him!

 

[CharliRenee]

First your furr baby is my dream kind of Dog. Labradoodle or a goldendoodle?

I agree with Lam, so sorry.

I think it prudent so important, to spend some time alone. Thank God you have a terrific relationships with your kids and furr baby. I bet you have some friendships that you can nurture.

Nature, is such a sweet gift from him. I am glad you are spending time with Him out in it His gift given. Plus it is great exercise.

In AZ, unless you get up at 5 and hike, it is WAY TOO HOT. We here are suffering from cabin fever, lol.

Anyway, thanks for updating us on your journey.

Look forward to reading more, in the meantime, I pray He brings your hurting heart comfort.

 

[Solemateleft]

Thanks @CharliRenee and @Leastamongmany for your kind words, understanding, encouragement and prayers... I do so feed off of such thoughtful consideration as well as your inspiring contributions here in cc...
So grateful.
God Bless

 

[love_comes_softly]

Praying that the Lord bless you with peace during this difficult time, Solemateleft. Know that even though you may not understand why things are happening the way they are, the Lord will use whole situation in a big way. He has a purpose. It's a sad and challenging time, keep in mind you don't have to be perfect through it. Let Him be your strength. Lean on Him. God bless!!

 

[Solemateleft]

Praying that the Lord bless you with peace during this difficult time, Solemateleft. Know that even though you may not understand why things are happening the way they are, the Lord will use whole situation in a big way. He has a purpose. It's a sad and challenging time, keep in mind you don't have to be perfect through it. Let Him be your strength. Lean on Him. God bless!!

Thanks @love_come_softly - you've nailed my concern - my biggest worry is knowing my anticipated struggles with my imperfections...
God Bless

 

[TabinRivCA]

It's admirable you being faithful to your marriage through the years and we know God has heard your prayers. I pray the Holy Spirit touches her heart in the next few weeks and if there is any hope, I join your prayers for a reconciliation.
However, if that doesn't happen, you're right in knowing God will never leave or forsake you. He will reward you for being a faithful spouse with happiness, I'm sure. If it's any comfort, I read that in heaven we will have a connection to any spouse we've had. Of course it's all in perfect unity there.
We are all dealing w/our imperfections let me assure you. 'Cast ALL your cares on Him as He does care for us' and then let them go and just rest in His blessed arms. You've done everything you can do, now trust in Him, God bless!

 

[Solemateleft]

It's admirable you being faithful to your marriage through the years and we know God has heard your prayers. I pray the Holy Spirit touches her heart in the next few weeks and if there is any hope, I join your prayers for a reconciliation.
However, if that doesn't happen, you're right in knowing God will never leave or forsake you. He will reward you for being a faithful spouse with happiness, I'm sure. If it's any comfort, I read that in heaven we will have a connection to any spouse we've had. Of course it's all in perfect unity there.
We are all dealing w/our imperfections let me assure you. 'Cast ALL your cares on Him as He does care for us' and then let them go and just rest in His blessed arms. You've done everything you can do, now trust in Him, God bless!

Thank you @TabinRivCA for your compassionate words and genuine encouragement for my walk... I so appreciate your enlightenment with your prayers and empathy here as well as your contributions and energy here in cc.

God Bless

 

[AuntieAnt]

Praying for you, Brother!

 

[Solemateleft]

Praying for you, Brother!

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Thank you @AuntieAnt for your prayers and your succinctly profound words of encouragement...
God Bless