I have an issue with my family...

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U

UnderGrace

Guest
#21
#21
Julie6378 said:
I just have a problem with my family. I was wondering if there is anyone who can give me Christian advice. I am insecure when people talk bad about me behind my back. It makes me feel very uncomfortable. My family does it, they talk bad about me behind my back and they say mean things to my face. I don't know how to cope properly. It makes it hard to be around them now. I don't like them either because of how they treat me. To sum it up. They seem like bullies and they appear to call me stupid, they judge me, and they make up things about me that aren't true. I feel like I am in high school. I tried reading my Bible, it helps, but the hurt I feel from this still lingers. I even keep a journal and write my feelings. I still get the question in my head. Why is this happening to me? It feels like I am getting all this bad attention that I don't really want. Please help!
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I cannot offer family advice since I have not experienced this the way you describe it in my family life, however I did find this information on this website that I think has sound and very practical advice.

Having had to deal with toxic bullies at work, two things I do is keep my distance as much as possible and have my responses ready that can be delivered in a matter of fact manner with no emotion. :)

http://www.thelawofattraction.com/family-members-bullies/
 
J

Julie6378

Guest
#22
#22
UnderGrace said:
I cannot offer personal advice since I have not experience this the way you describe it in my family life, however I did find this information on this website that I think has sound and very practical advice.

Having had to deal with toxic bullies at work, two things I did was keep my distance as much as possible and have my responses ready that could be delivered in a fact manner with no emotion. :)

http://www.thelawofattraction.com/family-members-bullies/
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thank you so much!!!
 
J

Julie6378

Guest
#24
#24
For those you who are asking about age. I won't tell you. I don't know why this is being asked in the first place and this isn't relevant to what I am talking about. Thank you for all your responses and I appreciate it.
 
Bingo

Bingo

Well-known member
#26
Feb 9, 2019
9,174
4,745
113
#26
"When family adults can't sit down and honestly and sincerely discuss their concerns
with love and understanding where each is coming from, there would appear to be a
communication problem. A grudge or resentment is a terrible thing to live with. We all
find situations where we need to change our attitude and behavior in some way to live more
in harmony with one another. Family friction results in unhappy lives, not good. I do
hope there is some kind of reconciliation to ease the stress in your family life."
'Praise God'

11222005_472331862927347_7625372890121725284_n - Copy.jpg
 
J

Julie6378

Guest
#27
#27
UnderGrace said:
It was not too coherent when I reread it so I fixed it, ........LOL
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Thank you for the link! That was really helpful. I appreciate it and I learned a lot too.
Bingo said:
"When family adults can't sit down and honestly and sincerely discuss their concerns
with love and understanding where each is coming from, there would appear to be a
communication problem. A grudge or resentment is a terrible thing to live with. We all
find situations where we need to change our attitude and behavior in some way to live more
in harmony with one another. Family friction results in unhappy lives, not good. I do
hope there is some kind of reconciliation to ease the stress in your family life."
'Praise God'

View attachment 200533
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Thank you for your response!
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#28
Mar 13, 2014
42,555
17,025
113
69
Tennessee
#28
Julie6378 said:
Whoa! Maybe I made a mistake to come on here. I was just trying to express my feelings. I didn't know people would resort to name calling and people would get upset with me. I seem to have this problem a lot where people start to judge me for what I write and they seem to define me by my writing. I don't understand. I thought what I am doing is perfectly harmless. I don't know why people are making a huge deal about how I am sounding.
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I am certainly not judging you at all. I too had to move back home more than once because of struggle. I believe that due to your family not being Christian that they are slowly rotting inside. They treat you bad as a way to feel better about themselves at your expense. I don't have to hear their story as I have already seen it played out in other families that were not my own. You sound quite rational and mature to me. God bless you during this struggle. Take comfort in knowing that this too shall pass.
 
U

UnderGrace

Guest
#29
#29
tourist said:
I am certainly not judging you at all. I too had to move back home more than once because of struggle. I believe that due to your family not being Christian that they are slowly rotting inside. They treat you bad as a way to feel better about themselves at your expense. I don't have to hear their story as I have already seen it played out in other families that were not my own. You sound quite rational and mature to me. God bless you during this struggle. Take comfort in knowing that this too shall pass.
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Absolutely nothing wrong with living at home when needed no matter what age, that is what families are for in my book!! :)
 
J

Julie6378

Guest
#30
#30
tourist said:
I am certainly not judging you at all. I too had to move back home more than once because of struggle. I believe that due to your family not being Christian that they are slowly rotting inside. They treat you bad as a way to feel better about themselves at your expense. I don't have to hear their story as I have already seen it played out in other families that were not my own. You sound quite rational and mature to me. God bless you during this struggle. Take comfort in knowing that this too shall pass.
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Wow! Thank you so much for the response! I am glad there is someone out there that seems to get it.
 
J

Julie6378

Guest
#32
#32
Julie6378 said:
Wow! Thank you so much for the response! I am glad there is someone out there that seems to get it.
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I am shocked I didn't expect that sort of response! Thank you again!
 
Dan58

Dan58

Senior Member
#33
Nov 13, 2013
1,991
339
83
#33
Julie6378 said:
I just have a problem with my family. I was wondering if there is anyone who can give me Christian advice. I am insecure when people talk bad about me behind my back. It makes me feel very uncomfortable. My family does it, they talk bad about me behind my back and they say mean things to my face. I don't know how to cope properly. It makes it hard to be around them now. I don't like them either because of how they treat me. To sum it up. They seem like bullies and they appear to call me stupid, they judge me, and they make up things about me that aren't true. I feel like I am in high school. I tried reading my Bible, it helps, but the hurt I feel from this still lingers. I even keep a journal and write my feelings. I still get the question in my head. Why is this happening to me? It feels like I am getting all this bad attention that I don't really want. Please help!
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No reason to feel insecure, people always talk about others behind their backs. If they are saying things you don't like, then address them straight on. Don't cope with it, stand up for yourself, especially if the things they're saying aren't true.

It could be that you don't like what they're saying because its true and you don't want to change? That's what people here wonder about when they say that they don't know what all of the "bad attention" is rooted in? Without knowing the specific complaints, its difficult to offer much helpful advise.

Family will lash out when they think you are or have made mistakes and are headed in the wrong direction? When they get no response, their concern turns to frustration and is revealed in anger.
 
7

7seasrekeyed

Guest
#34
#34
Julie6378 said:
That is fine. I don't need you to give me advice. I didn't expect people to respond to my post anyways. Thank you for your response.
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well you do need me to give you advice

that is why you are here. for advice

but actually I have not given you any advice.

you asked a question and I answered you.

you really wish to be coddled and I don't do that

nothing will change until you change yourself

that is when others will change around you
 
J

Julie6378

Guest
#35
#35
7seasrekeyed said:
well you do need me to give you advice

that is why you are here. for advice

but actually I have not given you any advice.

you asked a question and I answered you.

you really wish to be coddled and I don't do that

nothing will change until you change yourself

that is when others will change around you
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Okay. Thank you for the response.
 
J

Julie6378

Guest
#36
#36
Dan58 said:
No reason to feel insecure, people always talk about others behind their backs. If they are saying things you don't like, then address them straight on. Don't cope with it, stand up for yourself, especially if the things they're saying aren't true.

It could be that you don't like what they're saying because its true and you don't want to change? That's what people here wonder about when they say that they don't know what all of the "bad attention" is rooted in? Without knowing the specific complaints, its difficult to offer much helpful advise.

Family will lash out when they think you are or have made mistakes and are headed in the wrong direction? When they get no response, their concern turns to frustration and is revealed in anger.
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Thank you for the response.
 
J

Julie6378

Guest
#37
#37
I am not trying to say my family or anyone is the problem. I am just asking a question that is all. I don't understand social cues and I am trying to figure out what was going on from the question stated.
 
Robertt

Robertt

Well-known member
#38
May 22, 2019
899
320
63
Bahrain
#38
Julie6378 said:
Yes I am living with my family and they are not Christian. Okay.
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Well as I said, you are better off meeting your pastor from church and discussing rather than on line.

If you not attending church you need to.
 
J

Julie6378

Guest
#39
#39
Robertt said:
Well as I said, you are better off meeting your pastor from church and discussing rather than on line.

If you not attending church you need to.
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Robertt said:
Well as I said, you are better off meeting your pastor from church and discussing rather than on line.

If you not attending church you need to.
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Yeah. Thank you for your response.
 
Nehemiah6

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
#40
Jul 18, 2017
26,074
13,771
113
#40
Julie6378 said:
I just have a problem with my family. I was wondering if there is anyone who can give me Christian advice.
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It would help to know if you are an adult or a minor, whether you are employed or dependent on your parents, whether you have joined a church or a struggling on your own.

The simplest solution is always the best. If you have a job and can support yourself, pack up and move out. Find some new Christian friends and a church family. And don't dwell on past hurts and issues. Focus of helping others.

Always remember that your worth is not measured by the opinions of others. The only thing that matters is how God and Christ see you. If you are a child of God, you are a child of the King, and He has given you every blessing in Christ. Focus on the Word of God.
 
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