Can a man love ONLY ONE woman?

[SimpleGardner]

This is very interesting....... I see your dilemma, dc. It's like a two sided coin - it all depends on which side you look at........

God gave Adam one wife at the very beginning....

Noah and his three sons all had only one wife and Noah found grace in the eyes of God.......

After the flood, the human race started again with every man having only one wife.

Abraham started out with only one wife but, Sarah threw in her handmaiden Hagar......... and the whole world and Israel is still suffering from that decision........

God addresses the nation of Israel as His wife and is jealous for her because she keeps running after other gods. So, God goes and grabs the Gentiles to provoke Israel to jealousy......

In the NT, Paul says:

1 Timothy 3:2 King James Version (KJV)
2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;

1 Timothy 3:12 King James Version (KJV)
12 Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

Titus 1:6 King James Version (KJV)
6 If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly.

More than one wife is going to be a lot of drama. Paul wanted those in leadership in the church to be busy about the Kingdom of God not dealing with a bunch of women.

God seems to begin a project with one man and one woman. Paul instructs Timothy and Titus to put only those men with one wife in leadership.

So, dc have you figured out how to deal with it?

I guess it all depends on which side of the coin you're looking at........lol!

Me, personally....... my husband better not get another wife or there will be drama!!! lol!

Greetings Lafftur,

You certainly hit that one hard! Impressive account of citations too!

I agree with DC and You!

Wait, let me explain. First off it is important to note that your citations in 1 Timothy 3:2 & 12 and Titus 1:6 the word for "One" in one wife is:

μία
mia
mee'-ah
Irregular feminine of G1520; one or first: - a (certain), + agree, first, one, X other.

The broader argument for the qualifications of a Bishop would deal with his character in relation to commitments and responsibilities and the care for relationships. So Paul would exclude a divorcee based on the nature of the office. Could the requirement then be that any candidate for Bishop should still be married to his first wife? Dunno for sure, but there is enough in the manuscripts to give that question legitimacy.

Did Jesus Himself promise 100 wives?

Mat 19:29 KJV And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.

Please, anyone who reads this, DO NOT SEEK MORE THAN ONE WIFE! THis is simple an effort to get this detail figured out.

 

[SimpleGardner]

Great insight, MattforJesus!

I enjoyed reading your post. I think you're right about a man having a favorite and the other woman not experiencing the true sense of love the way God would want her to know love. It can hurt deeply. Thank you!

How Leah must have felt being not loved....... God loved her. Leah was buried with Abraham & Sarah, Isaac & Rebecca, Jacob and Leah. Rachel was not buried with Jacob.

It's interesting that God hated Essau and loved Jacob; and Jacob loved Rachel and sorta hated Leah.
Isaac loved Essau more than Jacob; Rebecca loved Jacob more than Essau......... oh goodness..........someone was always being rejected..............

Man always look on the outside, God looks at the heart...............

God knew Jacob's heart would love Him and Essau would not. Jacob loved Rachel because of her outward beauty but, God loved Leah because of her inward beauty. Isaac loved Essau because of food, Rebecca loved Jacob because of what God told her about the two babies while in her womb - the older will serve the younger.

Lots to ponder, thanks again!

Greetings Lafftur,

TO support the point I made yesterday is a concept of "Perfect Hatred".

I know this sounds harsh and Unchristian like, but even Jesus hated the Pharisees for their disregard for the Law. See Matthew 23.

David coined the term in;

Psa 139:21-24 KJV Do not I hate them, O LORD, that hate thee? and am not I grieved with those that rise up against thee? (22) I hate them with perfect hatred: I count them mine enemies. (23) Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: (24) And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.


Not a bad litmus test for determining who we "hate" and who we "Love".

Now, just because we "hate" someone doesn't mean we don't rebuke them or instruct them whatever the situation calls for, and not to save them as much as to bring them into compliance with God's will and to serve the interests of the Kingdom of Heaven.

So, the concept of "Hate sin, love the sinner" which is not found in scripture but in the writings of St. Augustine and Mahatma Gandhi, is not in line with the sound teaching and examples of Jesus in the scripture. It falls in line with the principals of Humanism where the interests of man are paramount rather than the interests of God.

 

[UnderGrace]

I know this sounds harsh and Unchristian like, but even Jesus hated the Pharisees for their disregard for the Law. See Matthew 23.

I think you have this backwards the Pharisees hated Jesus, He did not hate them.

 

[SimpleGardner]

I think you have this backwards the Pharisees hated Jesus, He did not hate them.

Mat 23:27-29 NIV "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. (28) In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness. (29) "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You build tombs for the prophets and decorate the graves of the righteous.

 

[UnderGrace]

Mat 23:27-29 NIV "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. (28) In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness. (29) "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You build tombs for the prophets and decorate the graves of the righteous.

I read nowhere where Jesus states I hate you

His anger is not hate

 

[SimpleGardner]

I read nowhere where Jesus states I hate you

His anger is not hate

Do you feel Jesus had a passionate dislike for them?

 

[UnderGrace]

Do you feel Jesus had a passionate dislike for them?

No

 

[SimpleGardner]

No

Okay, do you feel Jesus is incapable of hatred?

 

[UnderGrace]

Okay, do you feel Jesus is incapable of hatred?

Yes

 

[SimpleGardner]

Yes

Well, I appreciate your reply. I had only thought like you for years, but am recognizing that God & Jesus may in fact have a hatred for some people. Who am I to question Gods ways! In our world which has been overrun with Satanic Humanistic tolerance for everything I think we too have become indifferent to sin and evil to varying degrees that are out of sync with God and Jesus.


I have considered the verses;

Psa 5:4-6 KJV For thou art not a God that hath pleasure in wickedness: neither shall evil dwell with thee. (5) The foolish shall not stand in thy sight: thou hatest all workers of iniquity. (6) Thou shalt destroy them that speak leasing: the LORD will abhor the bloody and deceitful man.

Mal 1:2-3 KJV I have loved you, saith the LORD. Yet ye say, Wherein hast thou loved us? Was not Esau Jacob's brother? saith the LORD: yet I loved Jacob, (3) And I hated Esau, and laid his mountains and his heritage waste for the dragons of the wilderness.

Rom 9:13 KJV As it is written, Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated.

David had a heart after God and said:

Psa 139:21-23 KJV Do not I hate them, O LORD, that hate thee? and am not I grieved with those that rise up against thee? (22) I hate them with perfect hatred: I count them mine enemies. (23) Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:

He petitioned God to remove anything displeasing to Him and I find no retraction/repentance from his position.

I oftern read Proverb 7 and see in it a prophetic image of todays churches (often referred to as harlots) and as so many churches are they are on corners, all uttering religion is all about love and tolerance while the master is away. Perhaps this is our warning not to fall prey to that seducing spirit.

 

[UnderGrace]

Well, I appreciate your reply. I had only thought like you for years, but am recognizing that God & Jesus may in fact have a hatred for some people. Who am I to question Gods ways! In our world which has been overrun with Satanic Humanistic tolerance for everything I think we too have become indifferent to sin and evil to varying degrees that are out of sync with God and Jesus.


I have considered the verses;

Psa 5:4-6 KJV For thou art not a God that hath pleasure in wickedness: neither shall evil dwell with thee. (5) The foolish shall not stand in thy sight: thou hatest all workers of iniquity. (6) Thou shalt destroy them that speak leasing: the LORD will abhor the bloody and deceitful man.

Mal 1:2-3 KJV I have loved you, saith the LORD. Yet ye say, Wherein hast thou loved us? Was not Esau Jacob's brother? saith the LORD: yet I loved Jacob, (3) And I hated Esau, and laid his mountains and his heritage waste for the dragons of the wilderness.

Rom 9:13 KJV As it is written, Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated.

David had a heart after God and said:

Psa 139:21-23 KJV Do not I hate them, O LORD, that hate thee? and am not I grieved with those that rise up against thee? (22) I hate them with perfect hatred: I count them mine enemies. (23) Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:

He petitioned God to remove anything displeasing to Him and I find no retraction/repentance from his position.

I oftern read Proverb 7 and see in it a prophetic image of todays churches (often referred to as harlots) and as so many churches are they are on corners, all uttering religion is all about love and tolerance while the master is away. Perhaps this is our warning not to fall prey to that seducing spirit.

Context, context

The word can also be understood as rejected, and also needs to be understood within the expressive language of that culture

God hated/rejected Esau because Esau (in the Edomites) hated God and his divine purposes through Israel.

God's response of hate/reject is with regards to man's sinful choice, so perhaps the hatred is about the choices and not a personal emotional hate towards the person, God declares He is Love and I have no reason to believe otherwise.

 

[Sarahmay]

Is it possible that a man can ONLY LOVE ONE woman?

God created ONE WOMAN for Adam, yet the kings of Israel had so many wives.

Probably need some kind of a definition of "love" so, I'm asking about a man loving a woman with all his body, soul and spirit.

Feel free to define love in the way you understand it.

I look forward to reading your posts!

I would like to think a man can stay loyal to his wife but in this day & age there's too much temptation in the way or there job could be more important as in my case

 

[CS1]

Is it possible that a man can ONLY LOVE ONE woman?

God created ONE WOMAN for Adam, yet the kings of Israel had so many wives.

Probably need some kind of a definition of "love" so, I'm asking about a man loving a woman with all his body, soul and spirit.

Feel free to define love in the way you understand it.

I look forward to reading your posts!

no, I love many women

Love my Mother she is women, love my sister she is a woman, I love my daughters they are women . I love my Grandmother she too was a woman. I love my wife she is a woman. I love a lot of women.

 

[Prognostic]

Yes a man can love only one women. In fact, a man may only ever truly love one women despite possibly going on to have many partners. You never love anyone like you do your first love. But you also never love the person you're currently in love with like you have loved anyone else either. It's a funny thing love.

 

[Prognostic]

no, I love many women

Love my Mother she is women, love my sister she is a woman, I love my daughters they are women . I love my Grandmother she too was a woman. I love my wife she is a woman. I love a lot of women.

Ah but those are different types of love. For there are different types of love.

Agape — Unconditional Love (the kind you have for your family / close friends etc)
Eros — Romantic Love (the kind you have for your partner / spouse / lover etc)
Philia — Affectionate Love (the kind you have for good people etc)
Etc etc there's others too.

Or something like that anyway!

 

[Rasputin_OZ]

Context, context

The word can also be understood as rejected, and also needs to be understood within the expressive language of that culture

God hated/rejected Esau because Esau (in the Edomites) hated God and his divine purposes through Israel.

God's response of hate/reject is with regards to man's sinful choice, so perhaps the hatred is about the choices and not a personal emotional hate towards the person, God declares He is Love and I have no reason to believe otherwise.

and yet the greek word

from a primary misos (hatred); to detest (especially to persecute); by extension to love less :- hate (-ful).

Strong's Talking Greek & Hebrew Dictionary.

 

[Rasputin_OZ]

IM sure David loved all his wives and he was a man after Gods own heart.

 

[VineyardsOfEngedi]

I see this thread started back in December, but, it's a great topic so thought I would join in. The answer is if a man loves more than one woman, it's grounds for divorce. And the words, "preferably his wife," and "concurrently," are a little scary. can't find the post, but the lady who said, "I trust him," is the key to all relationships. But, it's a boundary issue also. A married man should not talk with a lady other than his wife in a personal way or personal setting. This can create be a boundary challenge for a pastor or others who must deal with personal issues of non-married members. In that case, they should let another lady guide the person, and get her permission to talk to the pastor about any issues that require more assistance.

As far as the Bible, those concubines were not the norm, and God apparently allowed it because He was dealing with a lot of nutty people and had to just work with what He had to get the job done. But, Solomon, who had concubines, lost his favor with God, and Solomon was unhappy and said "everything was like chasing the wind.". He tried wine, women, working, partying, wealth, building great orchards and irrigation aquaducts, but it was not enough in the end. I think it was because his relationship with God suffered from his lifestyle.
From what it Sounds like here, monkeys, eagles, and swans have more loyalty than most men, except the Lochness dinosaur thing.

 

[Alby]

A Man can love all Christian women like his sisters but can only love one woman as his wife

 

[Kim82]

Is it possible that a man can ONLY LOVE ONE woman?

Is it possible that a woman can love only one man?