it's possible that I'm blind to this hatred thinking that I don't have hatred even though I do have hatred
Hate for God, often means how can a loving God let this happen to me?
When my dad has a stroke, as someone in the twenties, I felt devastated. And the pain that changed
my coping, rang out with the words, why me? It emotionally seemed unfair.
But I was so blessed and kept, so protected from so many bad things, and yes it hurt, but I was safe in Him.
Why should I have so much privilege and yet feel bad about one part of life, which though mattered in
perspective was a blip, part of being alive.
This battle between wanting the blessing, avoiding stress, knowing the cost and paying it, and facing the
serious disappointment that might come on failure, is part of growing up, part of seeing our expectations
and what actually happens. Paul put this tension like this
11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
Phil 4
Often our circumstances determine our outlooks, and we want to blame failure in these outlooks on
someone, and what better person than God. In Jesus we can do so much better because we are in the
Kingdom, given an eternal place in heaven and are exalted with Him to be called His people, His child,
His friend, Amen and Halleluyah, Thank you Jesus.