Can a man love ONLY ONE woman?
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Believe it or not I have studied this dia a discussion when in Seminary.....and there were apparent anomalies in the bible....numerous faithful, righteous men had more than one wife......in Solomon's case (he had 1000 women) he was led into error in his old age by building groves unto the idols that the wives he had from the nations around him.....
Abraham Sarah, Hagar and Keturah after the death of Sarah and --> Abraham also had many concubines who bore him many sons (Genesis 11:29, 16:3, 25:1, I Chronicles 1:32). “Unto the sons of the concubines, which Abraham had, Abraham gave gifts, and sent them away from Isaac his son…” (Genesis 25:6)
Jacob had 2 wives and 2 handmaidens --> God also blessed Jacob who begat the fathers of the twelve tribes of Israel with two wives, Leah and Rachel, and two concubines, Bilhah and Zilpah (Genesis 29:23-30, 30:4-9, 32:22)
David --> The apple of God’s eye, the Psalmist David, blessed man of God, also through whom the Saviour of the world came, had many wives (II Samuel 3:2-5, 5:13)
Gideon --> The Lord is with thee, thou mighty man of valour” (Judges 6:12). “And Gideon had threescore and ten sons of his body begotten: for he had many wives” (Judges 8:30).
Elkanah, a Levite, the father of the prophet Samuel, had two wives, Hannah and Peninnah, and Elkanah was not a rich man (I Samuel 1:1-2)
And numerous other verses that pointed to righteous princes of Judah having numerous wives....
Read --> (Deuteronomy 21:15-17
JUST giving info for your thread...not that I am promoting anything
Abraham Sarah, Hagar and Keturah after the death of Sarah and --> Abraham also had many concubines who bore him many sons (Genesis 11:29, 16:3, 25:1, I Chronicles 1:32). “Unto the sons of the concubines, which Abraham had, Abraham gave gifts, and sent them away from Isaac his son…” (Genesis 25:6)
Jacob had 2 wives and 2 handmaidens --> God also blessed Jacob who begat the fathers of the twelve tribes of Israel with two wives, Leah and Rachel, and two concubines, Bilhah and Zilpah (Genesis 29:23-30, 30:4-9, 32:22)
David --> The apple of God’s eye, the Psalmist David, blessed man of God, also through whom the Saviour of the world came, had many wives (II Samuel 3:2-5, 5:13)
Gideon --> The Lord is with thee, thou mighty man of valour” (Judges 6:12). “And Gideon had threescore and ten sons of his body begotten: for he had many wives” (Judges 8:30).
Elkanah, a Levite, the father of the prophet Samuel, had two wives, Hannah and Peninnah, and Elkanah was not a rich man (I Samuel 1:1-2)
And numerous other verses that pointed to righteous princes of Judah having numerous wives....
Read --> (Deuteronomy 21:15-17
JUST giving info for your thread...not that I am promoting anything
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Well....I have a hard time seeing it was contrary to the law seeing how God gave laws to cover how they were to be dealt with.....and God gave 13 children to Jacob through his two wives and TWO concubines.........
Would God bless sin and or something that was against the law? NO.........so...how do we deal with it.....??
Would God bless sin and or something that was against the law? NO.........so...how do we deal with it.....??
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In order for a man to truly love a woman, according to the way God wants a man to love a woman, there can only be one woman, for she should get all the attention, and all the care, without competition of another woman.
The Bible says you cannot serve God, and money, for you will put one above the other, for when there is competition one will fall short of total love.
The Bible says that Jacob loved Rachel more than Leah, his two wives, and the LORD saw how Leah was hated.
For if a man has more than one wife, there will be his favorite, and the other minor to her, so the one that is minor is not loved like she should be, and falls short of love.
So it seems like a man cannot love more than one woman, although he can have an affection for more than one woman, but however women he has he will favor one above the other, and the other falls short of love that qualifies as being love in it's true sense.
Anything that falls short of love in it's true sense is not right, and not a marriage.
For someone that has 2 cars can say they like them both the same, but it is not true for one of those cars will stand out as better than the other.
If a man has 2 wives one of them will stand out better than the other, and he will favor one over the other, and the other is not loved like they should be so it is not love in it's true sense of love.
A man can truly only love one woman in it's true sense, although he can have affection for many women, and can love them somewhat, but he will love one, and favor one more than the others, and that love will fall short concerning them.
With God we love Him with all our heart, all our soul, all our mind, all our strength, and put Him above all people, and things, in love, and Jesus said we cannot love family more than Him.
For a man to have 2 wives one of them will fall short of that total love that is supposed to be displayed towards a woman in marriage, for if it falls short then it is not true love in the marriage.
A man can truly only love one woman, like he can own many cars, but one of them is his favorite, and can have many houses, but one of them is his favorite, because there is differences in people, and things, and one of them will stand out as the best, and favorite, because of those differences, that does not put them at an exact equal level, so one will be the favorite because the differences are favored the most.
But mainly the one that is not favored falls short of love in the true sense of love that should be in marriage.
In the Old Testament it was allowed for men to have more than one wife concerning the kings, and even concubines, but they did not love them all on an equal level, but one of them was their favorite.
And it could be that it is because God wanted them to have many children, so many wives, such as the case with Jacob who had the 12 tribes of Israel by 2 wives, and 2 concubines.
Solomon had 300 wives, and 700 concubines, but the Bible says the LORD was not pleased with Solomon concerning this, for this sure was not ordained of God for Solomon having this many wives, for this was only plain lust.
That is at the time Solomon was enjoying sin, and being lustful, which is why he wrote Ecclesiastes to state that he was lustful, and enjoyed the finer things in life, and applied himself to enjoy those things, but then realized it was all vanity, and that he was wrong, and changed his ways.
And said that this is the conclusion of the whole matter of being on earth, not to enjoy fleshy pleasures, and worldliness, and being lustful, but fear God, and keep His commandments, for that is the whole duty of man.
Also when a man and a woman are married they become one flesh, and it is actually impossible for a man to become one flesh with more than one woman, which is why Jesus said they can divorce if adultery is committed, for they broke the covenant, and became one flesh with another, making their becoming one flesh with their wife void, and the covenant will stay broken unless there is forgiveness towards that person, and if they divorced, and married another, then the covenant is broken even if forgiveness.
Once they commit adultery the marriage is over unless they forgive the person, and decide to move on with the marriage, then they cannot bring it up at a later date if they want to divorce for they already forgave.
In the Old Testament if the men had more than one wife they could of not become one flesh with all of them, so it was not a marriage in the correct sense concerning many of the wives, so there was a purpose God had for the men having more than one wife.
In the New Testament being able to have the Spirit God would not allow a man to have more than one wife, and there is no need for it, for Israel had the children necessary for the operation of that nation, the 12 tribes of Israel, and David's children.
There would of been a reason that God allowed them to have more than one wife in the Old Testament concerning Israel, where that reason is not applicable today.
Maybe it was too much of a burden on one woman to have 12 children, for the 12 tribes of Israel, so it was split between 4 women, and it could be that Manasseh, and Ephraim, being half Gentile, and half Hebrew, had a significance there too which is a benefit for Gentiles, as Manasseh is included with the 144,000 Jews in Revelation 7, so maybe so the Gentiles can rule along with the Jews in the millennial reign of Christ.
Like God included Ruth, a Moabite woman to be included in the bloodline of David, which could be so that salvation could come upon the Gentiles as well as the Jews, for Jesus came from the tribe of Judah, and took over the throne of David, which his throne is established forever.
One man, one woman, that is it, and a man can only truly love a woman in the true sense of love, and not more than one woman, and if the other falls short then that is not a true marriage, for a true marriage is true love in the true sense, not falling short, not favoring another, not putting one wive above another, which is what will happen.
And a man can only become one flesh with one woman in a marriage, for if not then it would not be adultery if he fornicated with another woman, for if a man can have more than one wife in the New Testament there is no adultery, but if a man fornicates with another woman other than one woman it is adultery.
A man can only have one wife, for that is what marriage is about the dedication, and concern for the welfare of one person, and to have 2 wives one would be neglected, and shows people of having a dedication to one person that is closer in a relationship than any other relationship on earth in the physical realm, which we are dedicated to God that is closer in a relationship than any other person in the spiritual realm.
The Bible says you cannot serve God, and money, for you will put one above the other, for when there is competition one will fall short of total love.
The Bible says that Jacob loved Rachel more than Leah, his two wives, and the LORD saw how Leah was hated.
For if a man has more than one wife, there will be his favorite, and the other minor to her, so the one that is minor is not loved like she should be, and falls short of love.
So it seems like a man cannot love more than one woman, although he can have an affection for more than one woman, but however women he has he will favor one above the other, and the other falls short of love that qualifies as being love in it's true sense.
Anything that falls short of love in it's true sense is not right, and not a marriage.
For someone that has 2 cars can say they like them both the same, but it is not true for one of those cars will stand out as better than the other.
If a man has 2 wives one of them will stand out better than the other, and he will favor one over the other, and the other is not loved like they should be so it is not love in it's true sense of love.
A man can truly only love one woman in it's true sense, although he can have affection for many women, and can love them somewhat, but he will love one, and favor one more than the others, and that love will fall short concerning them.
With God we love Him with all our heart, all our soul, all our mind, all our strength, and put Him above all people, and things, in love, and Jesus said we cannot love family more than Him.
For a man to have 2 wives one of them will fall short of that total love that is supposed to be displayed towards a woman in marriage, for if it falls short then it is not true love in the marriage.
A man can truly only love one woman, like he can own many cars, but one of them is his favorite, and can have many houses, but one of them is his favorite, because there is differences in people, and things, and one of them will stand out as the best, and favorite, because of those differences, that does not put them at an exact equal level, so one will be the favorite because the differences are favored the most.
But mainly the one that is not favored falls short of love in the true sense of love that should be in marriage.
In the Old Testament it was allowed for men to have more than one wife concerning the kings, and even concubines, but they did not love them all on an equal level, but one of them was their favorite.
And it could be that it is because God wanted them to have many children, so many wives, such as the case with Jacob who had the 12 tribes of Israel by 2 wives, and 2 concubines.
Solomon had 300 wives, and 700 concubines, but the Bible says the LORD was not pleased with Solomon concerning this, for this sure was not ordained of God for Solomon having this many wives, for this was only plain lust.
That is at the time Solomon was enjoying sin, and being lustful, which is why he wrote Ecclesiastes to state that he was lustful, and enjoyed the finer things in life, and applied himself to enjoy those things, but then realized it was all vanity, and that he was wrong, and changed his ways.
And said that this is the conclusion of the whole matter of being on earth, not to enjoy fleshy pleasures, and worldliness, and being lustful, but fear God, and keep His commandments, for that is the whole duty of man.
Also when a man and a woman are married they become one flesh, and it is actually impossible for a man to become one flesh with more than one woman, which is why Jesus said they can divorce if adultery is committed, for they broke the covenant, and became one flesh with another, making their becoming one flesh with their wife void, and the covenant will stay broken unless there is forgiveness towards that person, and if they divorced, and married another, then the covenant is broken even if forgiveness.
Once they commit adultery the marriage is over unless they forgive the person, and decide to move on with the marriage, then they cannot bring it up at a later date if they want to divorce for they already forgave.
In the Old Testament if the men had more than one wife they could of not become one flesh with all of them, so it was not a marriage in the correct sense concerning many of the wives, so there was a purpose God had for the men having more than one wife.
In the New Testament being able to have the Spirit God would not allow a man to have more than one wife, and there is no need for it, for Israel had the children necessary for the operation of that nation, the 12 tribes of Israel, and David's children.
There would of been a reason that God allowed them to have more than one wife in the Old Testament concerning Israel, where that reason is not applicable today.
Maybe it was too much of a burden on one woman to have 12 children, for the 12 tribes of Israel, so it was split between 4 women, and it could be that Manasseh, and Ephraim, being half Gentile, and half Hebrew, had a significance there too which is a benefit for Gentiles, as Manasseh is included with the 144,000 Jews in Revelation 7, so maybe so the Gentiles can rule along with the Jews in the millennial reign of Christ.
Like God included Ruth, a Moabite woman to be included in the bloodline of David, which could be so that salvation could come upon the Gentiles as well as the Jews, for Jesus came from the tribe of Judah, and took over the throne of David, which his throne is established forever.
One man, one woman, that is it, and a man can only truly love a woman in the true sense of love, and not more than one woman, and if the other falls short then that is not a true marriage, for a true marriage is true love in the true sense, not falling short, not favoring another, not putting one wive above another, which is what will happen.
And a man can only become one flesh with one woman in a marriage, for if not then it would not be adultery if he fornicated with another woman, for if a man can have more than one wife in the New Testament there is no adultery, but if a man fornicates with another woman other than one woman it is adultery.
A man can only have one wife, for that is what marriage is about the dedication, and concern for the welfare of one person, and to have 2 wives one would be neglected, and shows people of having a dedication to one person that is closer in a relationship than any other relationship on earth in the physical realm, which we are dedicated to God that is closer in a relationship than any other person in the spiritual realm.
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This is very interesting....... I see your dilemma, dc. It's like a two sided coin - it all depends on which side you look at........
God gave Adam one wife at the very beginning....
Noah and his three sons all had only one wife and Noah found grace in the eyes of God.......
After the flood, the human race started again with every man having only one wife.
Abraham started out with only one wife but, Sarah threw in her handmaiden Hagar......... and the whole world and Israel is still suffering from that decision........
God addresses the nation of Israel as His wife and is jealous for her because she keeps running after other gods. So, God goes and grabs the Gentiles to provoke Israel to jealousy......
In the NT, Paul says:
1 Timothy 3:2 King James Version (KJV)
2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;
1 Timothy 3:12 King James Version (KJV)
12 Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.
Titus 1:6 King James Version (KJV)
6 If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly.
More than one wife is going to be a lot of drama. Paul wanted those in leadership in the church to be busy about the Kingdom of God not dealing with a bunch of women.
God seems to begin a project with one man and one woman. Paul instructs Timothy and Titus to put only those men with one wife in leadership.
So, dc have you figured out how to deal with it?
I guess it all depends on which side of the coin you're looking at........lol!
Me, personally....... my husband better not get another wife or there will be drama!!! lol!
I see your dilemma, dc. It's like a two sided coin - it all depends on which side you look at........God gave Adam one wife at the very beginning....
Noah and his three sons all had only one wife and Noah found grace in the eyes of God.......
After the flood, the human race started again with every man having only one wife.
Abraham started out with only one wife but, Sarah threw in her handmaiden Hagar......... and the whole world and Israel is still suffering from that decision........
God addresses the nation of Israel as His wife and is jealous for her because she keeps running after other gods. So, God goes and grabs the Gentiles to provoke Israel to jealousy......
In the NT, Paul says:
1 Timothy 3:2 King James Version (KJV)
2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;
1 Timothy 3:12 King James Version (KJV)
12 Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.
Titus 1:6 King James Version (KJV)
6 If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly.
More than one wife is going to be a lot of drama. Paul wanted those in leadership in the church to be busy about the Kingdom of God not dealing with a bunch of women.
God seems to begin a project with one man and one woman. Paul instructs Timothy and Titus to put only those men with one wife in leadership.
So, dc have you figured out how to deal with it?
I guess it all depends on which side of the coin you're looking at........lol!
Me, personally....... my husband better not get another wife or there will be drama!!! lol!
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Hi oyster67,
Don't let dc's blunt frankness hurt...... dc, means well. He's good at shaking the foundation of our beliefs. It's good for us to really know why we believe what we believe. After all the shaking........only truth will prevail.
I like your side of the coin...... one man for one woman!
Hi dc,
You gotta learn to put some honey on it! The Word of God needs to taste like honey. Discussing God's Word in search of truth needs to be enjoyable - not a war zone! lol!
I do enjoy your input, always a good challenge! Thank you.
Don't let dc's blunt frankness hurt...... dc, means well. He's good at shaking the foundation of our beliefs. It's good for us to really know why we believe what we believe. After all the shaking........only truth will prevail.
I like your side of the coin...... one man for one woman!
Hi dc,
You gotta learn to put some honey on it! The Word of God needs to taste like honey. Discussing God's Word in search of truth needs to be enjoyable - not a war zone! lol!
I do enjoy your input, always a good challenge! Thank you.
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Great insight, MattforJesus!
I enjoyed reading your post. I think you're right about a man having a favorite and the other woman not experiencing the true sense of love the way God would want her to know love. It can hurt deeply. Thank you!
How Leah must have felt being not loved....... God loved her. Leah was buried with Abraham & Sarah, Isaac & Rebecca, Jacob and Leah. Rachel was not buried with Jacob.
It's interesting that God hated Essau and loved Jacob; and Jacob loved Rachel and sorta hated Leah.
Isaac loved Essau more than Jacob; Rebecca loved Jacob more than Essau......... oh goodness..........someone was always being rejected..............
Man always look on the outside, God looks at the heart...............
God knew Jacob's heart would love Him and Essau would not. Jacob loved Rachel because of her outward beauty but, God loved Leah because of her inward beauty. Isaac loved Essau because of food, Rebecca loved Jacob because of what God told her about the two babies while in her womb - the older will serve the younger.
Lots to ponder, thanks again!
I enjoyed reading your post. I think you're right about a man having a favorite and the other woman not experiencing the true sense of love the way God would want her to know love. It can hurt deeply. Thank you!
How Leah must have felt being not loved....... God loved her. Leah was buried with Abraham & Sarah, Isaac & Rebecca, Jacob and Leah. Rachel was not buried with Jacob.
It's interesting that God hated Essau and loved Jacob; and Jacob loved Rachel and sorta hated Leah.
Isaac loved Essau more than Jacob; Rebecca loved Jacob more than Essau......... oh goodness..........someone was always being rejected..............
Man always look on the outside, God looks at the heart...............
God knew Jacob's heart would love Him and Essau would not. Jacob loved Rachel because of her outward beauty but, God loved Leah because of her inward beauty. Isaac loved Essau because of food, Rebecca loved Jacob because of what God told her about the two babies while in her womb - the older will serve the younger.
Lots to ponder, thanks again!
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Hi oyster67,
Don't let dc's blunt frankness hurt...... dc, means well. He's good at shaking the foundation of our beliefs. It's good for us to really know why we believe what we believe. After all the shaking........only truth will prevail.
I like your side of the coin...... one man for one woman!
Hi dc,
You gotta learn to put some honey on it! The Word of God needs to taste like honey. Discussing God's Word in search of truth needs to be enjoyable - not a war zone! lol!
I do enjoy your input, always a good challenge! Thank you.
Don't let dc's blunt frankness hurt...... dc, means well. He's good at shaking the foundation of our beliefs. It's good for us to really know why we believe what we believe. After all the shaking........only truth will prevail.
I like your side of the coin...... one man for one woman!
Hi dc,
You gotta learn to put some honey on it! The Word of God needs to taste like honey. Discussing God's Word in search of truth needs to be enjoyable - not a war zone! lol!
I do enjoy your input, always a good challenge! Thank you.
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