son moving out in a few months, so now what?

[WIJeff]

The last of the kids is leaving soon which would leave me - unless I get a pet - without any other body in my house since I'm divorced. I was wondering how anybody else who has gone through that felt. Were they overjoyed or sad or what?

In a way it's great that I'd have the whole house to myself and I could do some repairs that I never could before and keep it clean in ways I never could before. I put a lot of work not only into my youngest but my oldest who both had some issues growing up not only because of them but because of friends who were bad influences on them. Also, I could get back into the social groups I've wanted to get back into now that I don't have to driver him around anymore.

I remind myself that there were other people in my household before I thought I would miss but in the end I didn't. Stinks to have nobody in the house to even say a word to but I would probably eventually get used to that too. But if I get a cat then I can talk to the cat and he can just look at me without understanding what I'm saying.

So I'm just wondering what others have felt when the last bird has left the nest.

 

[CharliRenee]

Oh tis a challenging season, filled with brand new challenges and new possibilities. It takes time to get use to. Keep us updated and I will add you to my prayers.

 

[LittleMermaid]

I don't know what this feels like as I'm a 29 year old bird still living in my nest. lol
But I wanted to say that if you are afraid of getting lonely, I recommend a dog more so than a cat. I have both and the cat just chills and does its own thing. He doesn't want anyone to mess with him. Most cats are that way. Dogs, however, are true friends and they rely on you for petting and love. If you want something that will depend on you a little more, get a dog. You won't regret it.
Okay you might regret it if you get a needy overwhelming dog. Try not to get one of those. lol

 

[Solemateleft]

The last of the kids is leaving soon which would leave me - unless I get a pet - without any other body in my house since I'm divorced. I was wondering how anybody else who has gone through that felt. Were they overjoyed or sad or what?

In a way it's great that I'd have the whole house to myself and I could do some repairs that I never could before and keep it clean in ways I never could before. I put a lot of work not only into my youngest but my oldest who both had some issues growing up not only because of them but because of friends who were bad influences on them. Also, I could get back into the social groups I've wanted to get back into now that I don't have to driver him around anymore.

I remind myself that there were other people in my household before I thought I would miss but in the end I didn't. Stinks to have nobody in the house to even say a word to but I would probably eventually get used to that too. But if I get a cat then I can talk to the cat and he can just look at me without understanding what I'm saying.

So I'm just wondering what others have felt when the last bird has left the nest.

Greetings Brother,
I can so relate and empathize with exactly what you are describing - I'm going thru a very similar timeline scenario and a Dog has truly been my salvation...

My wife left us (myself along with our youngest of three) two years ago - he graduates from High School next month and will be off to college this summer... Short of a miracle the divorce is scheduled to be formally finalized in mid-Aug...

Not sure if you are a dog (cat or bird) person, I've been partial to dogs my entire life and earnestly believe that they are referred to as 'Man's best friend' for a reason...
- Hiking, playing, grooming, training, laughing and communicating with him (as well as learning from him) has been so therapeutic...

I know lots of people find other means of coping alone - personally - I would be lost without my Pal Rollo - he's an amazingly intelligent GoldenDoodle... Interestingly, while I always believed that I had a close bound with all my dog's over my lifetime - I've learned that I've been able to grow an amazing bound with this one as a result of the amount of one on one time that we spend with each other...

Will pray for you during this transition. God Bless...

 

[zeroturbulence]

Maybe find a nice woman to spend some time with.

 

[cinder]

Maybe find a nice woman to spend some time with.

What is this you're suggesting? You think an appropriate cure for loneliness is to find another human being to spend time with, interact with, and build a relationship with. That makes way too much sense; it can't possibly be the correct answer

 

[zeroturbulence]

What is this you're suggesting? You think an appropriate cure for loneliness is to find another human being to spend time with, interact with, and build a relationship with. That makes way too much sense; it can't possibly be the correct answer

Ever hear of a platonic relationship? Plus, is he forbidden to remarry? I must have missed that part.

 

[Lynx]

zero, cinder was saying you had a good idea. She was using sarcasm as a way of basically saying "Why didn't the OP think of that?"

 

[cinder]

Ever hear of a platonic relationship? Plus, is he forbidden to remarry? I must have missed that part.

I think the only thing you missed was my sarcasm (there seriously needs to be a way to visually codify tone so people can communicate more clearly on the internet). Because if we're honest with ourselves, connecting with other people is usually the best cure for loneliness. It just takes more work than a lot of the other ways we try to deal with it. If that doesn't clear things up go back and read my post using your best mock shock tone.

 

[Ruby123]

Maybe you can rent a room out to someone or have an international student stay at your place. You could have the company and they would appreciate a place to stay.

 

[zeroturbulence]

I think the only thing you missed was my sarcasm (there seriously needs to be a way to visually codify tone so people can communicate more clearly on the internet). Because if we're honest with ourselves, connecting with other people is usually the best cure for loneliness. It just takes more work than a lot of the other ways we try to deal with it. If that doesn't clear things up go back and read my post using your best mock shock tone.

Thanks for clearing that up. It probably was just the mood I was in before I read it.

 

[Lynx]

Maybe you can rent a room out to someone or have an international student stay at your place. You could have the company and they would appreciate a place to stay.

AirBnB is good for that. Just do the research first and keep the ground rules firm.

 

[Solemateleft]

Maybe find a nice woman to spend some time with.

Zero,
I do agree with the thrust of your and other cc members suggestion for 'human-interaction...' and the notion of a platonic relationship that may/may not grow into a genuine relationship...
I suspect that timing and context do play a role... Give the similarity with myself and OP as being first time sole empty-nesters...
While my son and I have been seeing a counselor to help us thru this transition, and I do call my Mom once a week to have someone to talk to, and I do get out of the house with my Pup frequently with the hope to interact with other human beings (as opposed to sitting at home in an empty house feeling sorry for myself)...
In time - Our Lord Willing - I pray that HE may introduce a female friend into my life to assist with this undeniable feeling of - well feeling all alone at the end of the day...
I suspect that I need to refrain from taking things into my own hands (trying to hard) - rather I need to seize this opportunity to strengthen my relationship with HIM and make earnest and genuine efforts to re-define myself - as a first time 'sole' empty-nester...

But I do pray and can't help but to imagine that - maybe, just maybe - HE might bless me with the seemingly simplistic but ever so difficult challenge in: " 'finding' a nice woman to spend some time with"... along my journey...

 

[Krumbeard]

The last of the kids is leaving soon which would leave me - unless I get a pet - without any other body in my house since I'm divorced. I was wondering how anybody else who has gone through that felt. Were they overjoyed or sad or what?

In a way it's great that I'd have the whole house to myself and I could do some repairs that I never could before and keep it clean in ways I never could before. I put a lot of work not only into my youngest but my oldest who both had some issues growing up not only because of them but because of friends who were bad influences on them. Also, I could get back into the social groups I've wanted to get back into now that I don't have to driver him around anymore.

I remind myself that there were other people in my household before I thought I would miss but in the end I didn't. Stinks to have nobody in the house to even say a word to but I would probably eventually get used to that too. But if I get a cat then I can talk to the cat and he can just look at me without understanding what I'm saying.

So I'm just wondering what others have felt when the last bird has left the nest.

Get a passport and go see the world.

Go skydiving! I am seriously considering this.

Hang gliding! It's expensive but I think this would be fun. And relaxing.

Volunteer in something that interests you. Whether it be a hobby type interest or charity.

You could try golfing. Or better yet, watch it on TV! Zzzzzzzz...

Hike the Appalachian Trail.

Have fun!

 

[tourist]

zero, cinder was saying you had a good idea. She was using sarcasm as a way of basically saying "Why didn't the OP think of that?"

It quite possibly did cross the OP's mind.

 

[Lynx]

Yup. I never said she didn't.

 

[Zan]

I've lived alone 11 years; I actually quite enjoy the peace and quiet part of it.

Join a club, meet new people or work on a new hobby.

 

[WIJeff]

Maybe you can rent a room out to someone or have an international student stay at your place. You could have the company and they would appreciate a place to stay.

thanks but no. I've been a tenant and a landlord and being a landlord can be a pain. i'd rather not go that route. plus I only got an attic and nobody can live in my attic.

 

[WIJeff]

I've lived alone 11 years; I actually quite enjoy the peace and quiet part of it.

Join a club, meet new people or work on a new hobby.

meetup.com has been good to me. Absent a lady to spend time with or anything else, I would be doing that.