I have said this before to you, and I will say it again. I am encouraged and inspired by your transparency. As you know most addicts are just that, not in control. He can and will help you. I believe one hundred percent. Look down the road a bit, imagine God delivering you from ever turning to your addiction again. Can you see how you can offer applicable help and hope, mercy to another because you understand. Many give up on themselves, please do not be one of those. Look to Him, He who is greater, to help you; please also keep looking to find healthy help. Not only for you and your loves, but also for those other addicts who pray to God for help. This is not about just you. You might be just the one God uses to help another. Just imagine showing them the light of Christ, the light of mercy, the light of hope.