Ok been reading through some things on CC. I’ll start from the beginning. Soon to be 18 years ago I married my wife whom I still love very much to this day spite our troubles we have endured through our our marriage. We married young but not before my wife had second thoughts, cold feet it seemed). Not long after I was deployed due to events on 9/11. Ever since coming home things haven’t been right. We felt distant at times, I felt useless because my wife held everything together at home. Fast forward 6 years, deployed again. Things started to go south, resentment for leaving her with two young boys. Lots of arguing even though I called every chance I got to check in and let her know I was ok. Came home and the distance felt worse. We didn’t talk much I didn’t say much and became closed off bad and turn to drinking to much.
This is when it all started. My wife befriended a male and they talked a lot. And eventually lead her to going to the “gym” found out she was meeting him. I found out after a month and it was going south for her too. Apparently he wanted more but she kept herself from cheating. We spoke took me along time to Forgive.
Couple years later you all guessed it. Deployment number 3, this time her mom gotten cancer. That’s when we both quit smoking. First thing we did together in a long time. I had to deploy and ended up coming home a couple weeks early to be there made it home a few days before she passed. My wife never really grieved the loss.m and it’s been hard on her and us. Things seemed ok but I feel into the beer and being alone state again. To the point we never talked or sat together. A few years went by and I started to notice my wife playing on her phone playing games and chatting. I guess I got the courage and asked what is going on basically.
She told me she wasn’t happy. We talked and figured some things out.
Well that was last year and the past year has felt like lies. I thought she was cheating online on me. That was not true I was told. Come to find months later she had logged into a chat site on our home computer and I came across it so I started to dig. And found words of love being said between her and another guy. I printed as much as I could out. Broke down and texted her to meet me I needed to talk to he about something I found.
Let me back up here. We were seeing a counselor before this happened. We met I never showed her what I have and still have to this day. We both broke down and cried. We didn’t speak for the rest of the day after that. We started to rebuild what we had left. I still wasn’t convinced because I lost all trust and tried. I kept blaming her and myself for our mistakes. Because of the way I had treated her things would not have happened. Things seemed good intimacy is great between us better than when we got married. The past month something wasn’t feeling right. After 20 years knowing someone you just know. I kept asking what is wrong. Because the phone is always in her hand playing games and chatting. Argument start about me wanting more or she doesn’t know what I want.
All I ask her for is her attention and to show me I live her. Well a few days ago she broke down and told me she feels lost, confused, broken and doesn’t know how she feels for me anymore. There was even mention of walking away. But that is out dead last option. She feels we both have been sad the past year. I tried to explain because I feel shut out and don’t have your full attention. Then the argument start about how she doesn’t use 4 phones for the game and she put the phone away and I get time. So I ask when is that. Baseball game every other weekend and a monthly date night. I’m told we sit in the couch and I just tell her the phone is in her face how is that sitting together. Now I have made her feel she isn’t good enough and she isn’t what I want. I try to tell her she is what I want and I want no one else. I have never cheated or even looked at another woman other than as a co-worker or sister in uniform. I have no interest for anyone else as my live is for her and only her. So I asked her why is it when we are intimate we feel the true emotions and live for each other but during the day it’s not there. I was told they are real emotions and it’s easier to block out the past. So I tried to get her to see the phone is a problem. And now she feels she hasn’t lived the life she wanted. Feels she needs to go out drinking with friends and co-workers. I have since cut back a lot in drinking because I saw it was affecting my marriage. Sorry a little long winded.
This is when it all started. My wife befriended a male and they talked a lot. And eventually lead her to going to the “gym” found out she was meeting him. I found out after a month and it was going south for her too. Apparently he wanted more but she kept herself from cheating. We spoke took me along time to Forgive.
Couple years later you all guessed it. Deployment number 3, this time her mom gotten cancer. That’s when we both quit smoking. First thing we did together in a long time. I had to deploy and ended up coming home a couple weeks early to be there made it home a few days before she passed. My wife never really grieved the loss.m and it’s been hard on her and us. Things seemed ok but I feel into the beer and being alone state again. To the point we never talked or sat together. A few years went by and I started to notice my wife playing on her phone playing games and chatting. I guess I got the courage and asked what is going on basically.
She told me she wasn’t happy. We talked and figured some things out.
Well that was last year and the past year has felt like lies. I thought she was cheating online on me. That was not true I was told. Come to find months later she had logged into a chat site on our home computer and I came across it so I started to dig. And found words of love being said between her and another guy. I printed as much as I could out. Broke down and texted her to meet me I needed to talk to he about something I found.
Let me back up here. We were seeing a counselor before this happened. We met I never showed her what I have and still have to this day. We both broke down and cried. We didn’t speak for the rest of the day after that. We started to rebuild what we had left. I still wasn’t convinced because I lost all trust and tried. I kept blaming her and myself for our mistakes. Because of the way I had treated her things would not have happened. Things seemed good intimacy is great between us better than when we got married. The past month something wasn’t feeling right. After 20 years knowing someone you just know. I kept asking what is wrong. Because the phone is always in her hand playing games and chatting. Argument start about me wanting more or she doesn’t know what I want.
All I ask her for is her attention and to show me I live her. Well a few days ago she broke down and told me she feels lost, confused, broken and doesn’t know how she feels for me anymore. There was even mention of walking away. But that is out dead last option. She feels we both have been sad the past year. I tried to explain because I feel shut out and don’t have your full attention. Then the argument start about how she doesn’t use 4 phones for the game and she put the phone away and I get time. So I ask when is that. Baseball game every other weekend and a monthly date night. I’m told we sit in the couch and I just tell her the phone is in her face how is that sitting together. Now I have made her feel she isn’t good enough and she isn’t what I want. I try to tell her she is what I want and I want no one else. I have never cheated or even looked at another woman other than as a co-worker or sister in uniform. I have no interest for anyone else as my live is for her and only her. So I asked her why is it when we are intimate we feel the true emotions and live for each other but during the day it’s not there. I was told they are real emotions and it’s easier to block out the past. So I tried to get her to see the phone is a problem. And now she feels she hasn’t lived the life she wanted. Feels she needs to go out drinking with friends and co-workers. I have since cut back a lot in drinking because I saw it was affecting my marriage. Sorry a little long winded.
-
1
- Show all
