from my experience where the looking/lusting thing was a factor i really found out that I should have asked more questions of potential husband/partner. In marriage or when two people have decided to date exclusively i would hope honoring vows and self control would rule the day. if not perhaps honesty and transparency may have a place. the men in my life always hid it from me. So the lying, shame and betrayal were really what destroyed the relationships. In getting with the Lord on the matter I saw where I could have spiced it up to maybe keep my mans eyes on me and only me, I had to look at my own attitude, insecurities, sense of value and what breaks deals for me. but really it had only a portion to do with me. it takes two to make or break a relationship and looking, lusting, porn has got to be a topic of discussion in any serious relationship because it is relevant and if it stays hidden your probably headed for heartbreak.