Would living common-law be considered married in God's eyes?

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Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
Jan 15, 2011
6,061
3,404
113
#2
I think you should define "Common law" so we know what we are discussing. Are you talking about two persons co-inhabiting without commitment, or are you talking about two persons who have a relationship that is "til death do us part" who have failed to fill out a piece of paper at the county courthouse?
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,550
17,022
113
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Tennessee
#3
I go along with OnceFallen as there is a big difference between simply living together for convenience or a permanent loving relationship with God at the center. Yes, I believe that a common-law marriage is the equivalent of a traditional marriage in the eyes of God. In such an arrangement once the relationship is consummated the actual marriage begins. Not sure why anyone would do this instead of being both legally and spiritually married because not all states recognize a common-law marriage and legal issues may arise, especially pertaining to finances and obligations.

Glad to have you as part of our community. Looking forward to your posts. Welcome to CC.
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,889
1,958
113
Germany
#4
Id call it marriage. If ur shaking up and together its a bond and done. The bible has a clear definition on marriage and none of it includes paperwork..unless for divorce as proof of the divorce
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,186
9,267
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#5
*Lynx sniffs at the OP, smells argument bait, sneezes vociferously and backs away with his paw over his nose.
 

JustEli

Well-known member
Dec 23, 2018
1,374
983
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50
#6
Having had a few long term relationships, and having been married, I can tell you there is an absolute difference.
When living in sin with another the enemy does not attack as heavily, once you are married get ready cause the enemy
is gonna try an hammer down.
 

Didymous

Senior Member
Feb 22, 2018
5,047
2,101
113
#7
Yes, according to Paul, in 1st Corinthians 6:16
 

p_rehbein

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2013
30,663
6,853
113
#9
As for Common Law Marriage:

In Alabama and Texas, and a couple of other States that I know of......Common Law Marriage is legal. Two people (man and woman.....to be clear) who "represent themselves" to the world as being married.......ARE! In other words, if they live together, introduce themselves as husband and wife to the public, and live as husband and wife........they are legally married. And, it requires a Legal Divorce through the Court System to dissolve their union.

Now, as for God.........I think there could be an argument made that two people who do the same thing in full knowledge of God and His Word, and live as man and wife may well be considered married by God. It may well be possible that, for one reason or another, they can not get a Marriage License, and have a legal Ceremony preformed. It's the same as two people being married by a Minister without the Civil License issued by the State. They were married by a Minister of God...........so, would God consider them married? I think so.

Then, of course, just to confuse things, we are told to honor the laws of Caesar for the glory of God.............. soooo
 

Ellorah

Well-known member
Jan 28, 2019
436
679
93
31
South Carolina
#10
As for Common Law Marriage:

In Alabama and Texas, and a couple of other States that I know of......Common Law Marriage is legal. Two people (man and woman.....to be clear) who "represent themselves" to the world as being married.......ARE! In other words, if they live together, introduce themselves as husband and wife to the public, and live as husband and wife........they are legally married. And, it requires a Legal Divorce through the Court System to dissolve their union.

Now, as for God.........I think there could be an argument made that two people who do the same thing in full knowledge of God and His Word, and live as man and wife may well be considered married by God. It may well be possible that, for one reason or another, they can not get a Marriage License, and have a legal Ceremony preformed. It's the same as two people being married by a Minister without the Civil License issued by the State. They were married by a Minister of God...........so, would God consider them married? I think so.

Then, of course, just to confuse things, we are told to honor the laws of Caesar for the glory of God.............. soooo
 
Mar 2, 2019
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#12
Thank you for the responses. Here is the situation...

I am separated after a 30-year relationship (25 years married, together for 30 years, a relationship that started in high school that I left my parents home at the age of 15 for). After the separation, I started attending church, something I grew up with. I met a man. We started seeing each other, more and more. We started studying the Bible together, started praying together, etc. Long story short, he has a girlfriend that he has been living with for five or six years. He claims it is not the same as being married since he keeps his mailing address different than where they live. He says he is not doing anything wrong. He says he is not technically cheating on her because they are not married. Recently, his father passed and his girlfriend was mentioned in the obituary. He does not want things to end with me saying God has put us in each other's lives for a reason, everything is predestined. He says it is not adultery and as long as he repents.
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,643
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#13
Thank you for the responses. Here is the situation...

I am separated after a 30-year relationship (25 years married, together for 30 years, a relationship that started in high school that I left my parents home at the age of 15 for). After the separation, I started attending church, something I grew up with. I met a man. We started seeing each other, more and more. We started studying the Bible together, started praying together, etc. Long story short, he has a girlfriend that he has been living with for five or six years. He claims it is not the same as being married since he keeps his mailing address different than where they live. He says he is not doing anything wrong. He says he is not technically cheating on her because they are not married. Recently, his father passed and his girlfriend was mentioned in the obituary. He does not want things to end with me saying God has put us in each other's lives for a reason, everything is predestined. He says it is not adultery and as long as he repents.
What he's doing is adultery. He's married to you and sleeping with this other woman. Adultery is a justified reason for divorce according to the bible.
 
Mar 2, 2019
8
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#16
I am not his wife. He has lived with his girlfriend for 5-6 years and he visits me on the side. Him and his girlfriend that he lives with attend church together, family functions together, etc.
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,643
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#17
I am not his wife. He has lived with his girlfriend for 5-6 years and he visits me on the side. Him and his girlfriend that he lives with attend church together, family functions together, etc.
Oh I thought you were talking about the man you are separated from. My mistake. Sorry.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,425
2,416
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#19
Thank you for the responses. Here is the situation...

I am separated after a 30-year relationship (25 years married, together for 30 years, a relationship that started in high school that I left my parents home at the age of 15 for). After the separation, I started attending church, something I grew up with. I met a man. We started seeing each other, more and more. We started studying the Bible together, started praying together, etc. Long story short, he has a girlfriend that he has been living with for five or six years. He claims it is not the same as being married since he keeps his mailing address different than where they live. He says he is not doing anything wrong. He says he is not technically cheating on her because they are not married. Recently, his father passed and his girlfriend was mentioned in the obituary. He does not want things to end with me saying God has put us in each other's lives for a reason, everything is predestined. He says it is not adultery and as long as he repents.
I'm sorry for your loss. How long have you been separated for?

But as for this guy, if he's not married then sleeping with his gf is fornication; if he is married and developing intimate relationships with other women it's adultery. At this point I don't think it really matters which sin this guy is committing. You know this is fishier than Peter's boat and as wrong as a neon green sky, that's why you asked us about it. Oh and the true test of a clear conscience, has he told his girlfriend about you?

Do you really want to continue to receive spiritual instruction from someone who sees nothing wrong with spending close personal time with multiple women? And if he's in any sort of leadership position in the church, I'd start to question if this is a church I want to go to as well (actually I wouldn't; I think accepting a leader known to be of such character would drive me right out the door.)

There are situations that I might acknowledge as a marriage without the paperwork; this isn't one of them, especially if the guy keeps saying he's not married. Do you really want to be with a guy who treats his girlfriend / acting wife the way he's treating her? Now the sarcasm comes out: I wonder which chapter of II Opinions says, "Lo, though thou dost inhabit a single domicile along with thine woman, ye willst not be considered married excepting her mailing address be identical to thine." This guy is so full of __it that he could open his own fertilizer factory. I'm sure it hard and crazy and confusing right now, but please don't add to all the crap that the separation dumped on you by staying mixed up with this guy.
 
A

AuntieAnt

Guest
#20
I am not his wife. He has lived with his girlfriend for 5-6 years and he visits me on the side. Him and his girlfriend that he lives with attend church together, family functions together, etc.
He visits you? On the side? That doesn't sound like a relationship. That sounds like you're settling for crumbs. :cry: