It's the Singles Forum Oldies/Newbies Mingle! (How can we best blend the old user/new user crowd?)

[Didymous]

I have something in me that shy people away, immediately I say ''hello'' they are gone

I ran away, but I came back. Maybe if you said hi, instead of hello?

 

[Susanna]

Thanks for all the great input!

I usually try to start getting to know people by liking/giving reactions to their posts.

I think one of the toughest challenges for a medium like this is trying to blend different personalities, since some like to post more, and others like to say less or nothing at all, which is fine! Everyone has their own style.

The most difficult barrier (in my own mind) that I find myself wanting to try to break is a classic forum Catch 22 -- people will say there aren't any interesting threads or discussions, and then understandably fade away. However, I know that it can also seem to many that it's the same people posting or putting up threads over and over again, which doesn't go over very well either.

My purpose in putting out threads is to try to give people something to talk about, and I try to include a personal story because I don't want it to seem like I'm asking things I wouldn't answer myself. But what I'm really hoping is that it will inspire more people to start their own threads as well, so we can get a whole mish-mash of ideas and conversations going.

I might be wrong about this (or maybe I'm just thinking out loud too much), but I guess I have a vision for the forum as being full of variety and interaction.

That’s a good idea. I enjoy interacting with people myself, but as you say, or maybe I got that wrong, too many people want to pick a fight when they find something to disagree with. Sometimes I’ve posted things that have been twisted into, I don’t know what, really, and some jerk has gone off the handle to make some sort of point lol.

 

[Hamarr]

That’s a good idea. I enjoy interacting with people myself, but as you say, or maybe I got that wrong, too many people want to pick a fight when they find something to disagree with. Sometimes I’ve posted things that have been twisted into, I don’t know what, really, and some jerk has gone off the handle to make some sort of point lol.

I have to admit I have steered clear of topics that I think might be controversial. Maybe that is in part so many people seem to take an us vs them mentality in disagreement and have to destroy or something. I see that a lot anymore, especially in regards to politics. I was hoping to see it less here, but you get to throw in calling someone else's viewpoint heretical or something. I guess I end up deciding it's not worth the hassle and steer clear of some of those folks.

 

[Josie223]

I ran away, but I came back. Maybe if you said hi, instead of hello?

How was I supposed to know that 'hi' would work?
No way I will try hi anyway, lol.
I fear being ignored the second time.

 

[tourist]

Hey Everyone!

Something I've been thinking about lately is that we have a lot of new faces (well, avatars ) on the forum and I've been wondering... What is the best way to blend our CC Singles Forum crowd?

* How can we introduce ourselves to each other and get everyone talking back and forth?

* How can we help make people more comfortable sharing posts and replying to/joking with other users?

* If you're someone who's been here for a while, what helped you make the leap from silent observer to active forum participant?

* If you're someone new, welcome! What things would make you feel like diving into the discussions?

I always see a lot of great people I'd love to try to banter and joke with in the forum, but if someone is new or I don't know them that well, I tend to refrain because I don't want them to feel like they're being picked on. What are your thoughts on how we can bridge the gap?

I admit that I'm slower than a tortoise when it comes to meeting people here. I'll generally become familiar with their posts over several months, then maybe have the chance to drop them a PM and get to know them, but that can take several more weeks or months. Usually when I'm here, I have a limited amount of time, so I will often choose to use it to write a post I've been thinking about and have to write out before I lose the thought. Unfortunately, I'm only able to get to know one or two people at a time this way.

How can we change this, and for everyone here, so that we're all meeting new people and talking?

What ideas do you have for helping our CC Singles crowd get to know each other better, or even at all?

Actually, it was you who really made me feel at home. What I try to do for our new members is to find at least on positive thing to comment on in their posts. This is not always easy as you know quite well. My CC time is limited too as I don't write very many posts during my work schedule but try to catch up in my couple days off each week. Sometimes the pace is frantic here and I can miss a lot of stuff in a couple days.

 

[seoulsearch]

Seoul and I have a joke, mostly about having trouble connecting with people while being single in church, that we're just counting down the years until we're eligible for all the senior citizens social activities since that seems to be when you get back to your age being a more primary determiner of your demographic.

I'm pretty sure that Cinder is going to totally wreck Thursday night Bingo.

When it comes to all the GOOD prizes, she's gonna clean house.

I'm just hoping I can convince her to keep winning (and sharing) containers of neon pink tennis balls to change out on my walker.

 

[seoulsearch]

How was I supposed to know that 'hi' would work?
No way I will try hi anyway, lol.
I fear being ignored the second time.

Hi Josie!

Welcome to CC and glad to have you here.

How could anyone ignore such a friendly "Hi"?

 

[seoulsearch]

Actually, it was you who really made me feel at home. What I try to do for our new members is to find at least on positive thing to comment on in their posts. This is not always easy as you know quite well. My CC time is limited too as I don't write very many posts during my work schedule but try to catch up in my couple days off each week. Sometimes the pace is frantic here and I can miss a lot of stuff in a couple days.

Hi Tourist,

Thanks so much!

I know that there's sometimes a feeling of, "If I don't fit in with certain people on the forum, I can't fit in," and I'm trying to think of ways around that. (I'm kind of like a guy that way--my brain is always trying to anticipate certain scenarios and how to work around them.)

I completely understand that each individual person is going to be drawn to different styles. For example, my style and methods might be a total turn-off to some people, and I get that. We're all made differently and have different preferences.

So my hope for this discussion is to get others more comfortable with posting and starting their own discussions, because the forum is plenty big enough for a wide variety of differences.

I would hope that if anyone feels like, "Yeah, I'm not feeling that," there will be several other thread/discussion options to jump right into or create at will.

 

[melita916]

someone said pizza, and now i'm here.

i'm not one of the popular kids. i rarely get PMs or chats. the random times i've received a message with the new chat system, once the guy knows i'm married, they disappear. i can understand that tho. lol.

i'm a shy introvert IRL. i've been at my church for almost 2 years, and i still don't have friends cuz... well... i'm mean looking.

but i consider myself to be a cool kiddo. just don't expect me to share pizza every time.

 

[Didymous]

How was I supposed to know that 'hi' would work?
No way I will try hi anyway, lol.
I fear being ignored the second time.

Hey, Josie!!!

 

[Didymous]

Hey, Josie!!!

I didn't recognize you with your actual face on!!

 

[Didymous]

How was I supposed to know that 'hi' would work?
No way I will try hi anyway, lol.
I fear being ignored the second time.

You're the Josie that we used to talk to on that really long thread, right?

 

[Didymous]

You're the Josie that we used to talk to on that really long thread, right?

Is there more than one Josie from Cameroon?

 

[Josie223]

You're the Josie that we used to talk to on that really long thread, right?

Same Josie Brother Didymous, remember I sent u away with my "hellos"? And it really took u long to come back, lol
Now that you are back I can't risk losing u with a "hi", CC.com & folks here need you

 

[Josie223]

Is there more than one Josie from Cameroon?

Not that I know? I should be the only here atm

 

[Josie223]

I didn't recognize you with your actual face on!!

Do I have so many faces . I thought you did & that that's why you wrote what u wrote! lol

 

[Josie223]

Hi Josie!

Welcome to CC and glad to have you here.

How could anyone ignore such a friendly "Hi"?

Hi seoulsearch,
Actually I write an ''hello'' & get ignored, I don't know what 'hi' will do, I am staying safe here.
I thought "hello" was friendly too? & what's the difference? kidding right? ha ha ha ha
Glad to meet you too sis

 

[zeroturbulence]

 

[Zan]

someone said pizza, and now i'm here.

i'm not one of the popular kids. i rarely get PMs or chats. the random times i've received a message with the new chat system, once the guy knows i'm married, they disappear. i can understand that tho. lol.

Most guys out there sending a bunch of chats and PMs are probably looking for someone to get involved with, yes. But how often do you send people messages and strike up a conversation? If you don't, that is half of the reason why you don't get many conversations. There is nothing wrong with striking up conversations.

 

[melita916]

You’re right, Zan! I rarely, if ever, strike up a conversation.

I needs to work on my peoples skills.

..... maybe.