If you could send one letter to yourself in the past without the goal of making yourself rich (no lotto numbers, stock picks, etc.), what age would you choose and what would the letter say?
This is such a great question that enables us an earnest opportunity for self reflection and 'what if' course correction...
I've actually contemplated this as an artifact of some research that I have been involved with addresses
Counterfactual thinking which is a concept in psychology that involves the human tendency to create possible alternatives to life events that have already occurred; something that is contrary to what actually happened. In my line of research for the military we have explored
counterfactual analysis, that is, "a comparison between what actually happened and what would have happened in the absence of the intervention." Impact evaluations seek to answer cause-and-effect questions. In other words, they look for the changes in outcome that are directly attributable to a change in scenario.
So given that, the way my brain is wired and my personal self 'what if' reflection here is my response to your question:
When I was 42 years old I experienced what I believe was a divine intervention experience in my life (long story that I posted on a 'Miracle' thread a couple years ago) that included an 'out of body' experience... In hindsight I believe this was the Lord's hand guiding me to ensure I maintained a path based upon christian-family values along my journey with HIM...
42 was the age that I retired from active duty and transitioned into my follow-on career. In my efforts to be the best provider for my family I opted for a career that would push the limits of my personal capabilities and capacities (always up for a challenge). In hind sight I now see a direct correlation between my personal stress levels and the impacts upon my wife and the weight of the cross that she carried. While I always suspected that one of her shortfalls was that she had a blind spot for other family members stresses; which often led to avoidable escalations...
My Letter: so in order for my letter to have an impact upon my younger self it would have to include a full report/synopsis of the inevitable outcome (broken marriage) to include all of my mis-steps... The harder I fought to save my marriage the more she resisted... Given all the research and self reflection that my future self now knows - I wonder if my younger self was armed with all of these insights 'what-if?':
- If I maintain the career course with the same level of personal stressors - what could I do differently on the homefront to reduce her stresses and to reduce tensions?
- Rather than overtly confiding in my 'In-Laws' for mutual support (whom still adore me; caused unforgivable tension with the wife); in hindsight given that much of her childhood trauma/psychology remains to have a significant impact upon her current decisions, behaviors, and actions - I would strongly encourage my younger self to seize the single window of opportunity (there was one) to pursue professional PhD family counseling as a means to enable a more thorough and accurate diagnosis for her benefit... and potentially the benefit of the kids and family...
- Refrain from attempting to self analyze and diagnose her personal issues; recognize that individual counseling is not the same nor is it as effective nor as useful as professional PhD level couples and family counseling...
- Alternatively, what if I opted for a less stressful career path - would that have helped to alleviate tensions at home, could I have done more to help her fight thru her burdens/demons? Would I have been as good of a provider for my kids; would they have been as successful in their activities; would I have been able to afford to provide the same level of support for their college educations? and if not, would that necessarily have been a bad thing for them to learn their own fiscal responsibilities?
- Most importantly, in hindsight I suspect that I could give myself some advice to ensure that I was an even better spiritual leader and example for my family than I believed that I was.
Anyway... sounds like a neat science experiment... Unfortunately, with so many time travel movies all too often, certain outcomes are inevitable and can not be changed. Maybe because HE is at the helm of HIS master plan - hence maybe everything does happen for a reason. That is how learning is done... But that is what I would tell my younger self...