Then it's not a gift at all, and grace is not unmerited.
A gift is something freely given by one party to another. The gift element is the part that is not earnt or expected.
But this does not mean the gift itself does not have obligations and effort involved with it.
Parents give to their children gifts of education courses, adventures, tickets to travel etc.
This does not mean the children can do what they like, but rather an opportunity is provided which otherwise would
not be there.
Somehow in your thinking you have said these realities regarding a gift invalidate its reality.
If I was given a parachute jump gift, and then refused to jump, am I accepting the gift or if I complain its not a gift
because I do not want to jump out of a plane, am I being reasonable?
We are disqualified to be with God. But He has opened the door if we are prepared to accept the conditions.
There are those who believe all will eventually go to heaven, they just need enough opportunities.
Even this is a conditional gift, based on taking the opportunity.
If you opened the door, and all were forced in, that is an unconditional gift, given to all. Gods unconditional gift
to man is life, the breathing and experience we have every day.