God just lit up my addiction with a spotlight, literally. My sin/addiction is exposed completely. I was arrested this morning for my addiction. After 14 years of squeaky cleanness (law wise) this morning God exposed the thing I hide the most. Smoking weed. I don't hide it if anyone ever asked, as in I'm not ashamed of it like that, but most people don't know it, I don't advertise or even ever smoke with anyone else really, I'm just not around anyone else that does it ever. Regardless I have not gone to get my medical card yet, and was just doing like I always have, smoking the flower. I wake up at 4 am to go walk with God every morning, and I smoke on the way to work where I park. Well on the way today my tag light was out and I got pulled over. Well the officer smelled the weed, so from there I told him I had some, he got it and gave me a notice to appear (didn't bring me in, take my mugshot and all that, praise Jesus name).
So it's out there, I'm exposed, ashamed, embarrassed, and do not look forward to confessing this to everyone, but in a way am glad too. I'm glad it's out there and God is dealing with this issue, but what hurts the absolute most, and what is tearing me apart inside is that being arrested abolishes my privilege of going to the jail to minister. I talk to so many guys, and I've been seeing God do so much in their lives, and I blew it completely. It's policy that I can't do it now, and it's all my fault, and I am just praying it doesn't cause any to stumble. I can and will be writing them to keep in contact, but man I am so ashamed of myself, what a terrible representative of Jesus I am. I am thankful in ways, and I know it's to learn from, and will work for His glory like all things, but God forgive me I am ashamed.
Anyway I saw this OP and felt the need to share and confess a little, theirs a lot of that coming, by His grace and power.