Hey Everyone,
Since we have a thread going on about when it may or may not be appropriate to call a woman "hot" or "beautiful", I wanted to start a thread asking the gentlemen how THEY like to be complimented.
I have this theory that most people hear only bad things about themselves (whether through their own self-talk or from others), and very rarely ever hear anything good, especially as they get older.
I also wonder if it's tougher for the guys, because women generally hear positive feedback from their close friends, but how often do men hear anything positive about themselves (I'm guessing not often), and how can we change that?
For example, I have often been around male co-workers whom I've wanted to compliment for various qualities, but, it seems like there are so many complication, especially between opposite genders.
For example:
+ I don't want to sound like a creeper (you know, like the kind who drives a windowless van and has it parked outside.)
+ I don't want to sound like I'm hitting on him (most especially because he may have a girlfriend or even a wife, and may not be wearing a ring.) I don't want to disrespect another woman by complimenting her man in a way that would be seen as inappropriate (and I know in many cases, even if you try to give an "innocent" compliment, like about his character, it could be see as you trying to steal someone's man away.)
+ If he IS a single available guy, I don't want him to think I am somehow obsessing over him or throwing myself at him.
My usual approach is to try to compliment something about their values such as, "Thank you for beinghonest," or, "Thank you for taking the time to put that away instead of just throwing it anywhere." But I often wonder if it's best that I not say anything at all.
How about the rest of you?
* Have you ever found yourself wanting to compliment a guy (even if you're a guy and want to say something encouraging to another brother in Christ), but didn't know what to say, or how to word it?
* If you want to compliment something about a guy, how do you go about it without sending the wrong signals?
* Guys, what tips would you give the rest of us for trying to say something supportive to you?
And, as a bonus-- How does one go about complimenting a man over his looks? I am a child of the 80's, and back then, all the girls described an attractive male (good golly, that sounds so sterile, like a lab description or something) as "cute". And I'm guessing men aren't very fond of that.
* Guys, would it ever be appropriate for someone to compliment your looks? What descriptions do you prefer -- would you want to be called "handsome", "good-looking", "cute", etc.?
* If you work out a lot at the gym, what could someone who notices that say without sounding like a stalker?
* Or, is it best not to say anything at all, to avoid any misunderstandings?
We are eagerly awaiting your replies.
Since we have a thread going on about when it may or may not be appropriate to call a woman "hot" or "beautiful", I wanted to start a thread asking the gentlemen how THEY like to be complimented.
I have this theory that most people hear only bad things about themselves (whether through their own self-talk or from others), and very rarely ever hear anything good, especially as they get older.
I also wonder if it's tougher for the guys, because women generally hear positive feedback from their close friends, but how often do men hear anything positive about themselves (I'm guessing not often), and how can we change that?
For example, I have often been around male co-workers whom I've wanted to compliment for various qualities, but, it seems like there are so many complication, especially between opposite genders.
For example:
+ I don't want to sound like a creeper (you know, like the kind who drives a windowless van and has it parked outside.)
+ I don't want to sound like I'm hitting on him (most especially because he may have a girlfriend or even a wife, and may not be wearing a ring.) I don't want to disrespect another woman by complimenting her man in a way that would be seen as inappropriate (and I know in many cases, even if you try to give an "innocent" compliment, like about his character, it could be see as you trying to steal someone's man away.)
+ If he IS a single available guy, I don't want him to think I am somehow obsessing over him or throwing myself at him.
My usual approach is to try to compliment something about their values such as, "Thank you for beinghonest," or, "Thank you for taking the time to put that away instead of just throwing it anywhere." But I often wonder if it's best that I not say anything at all.
How about the rest of you?
* Have you ever found yourself wanting to compliment a guy (even if you're a guy and want to say something encouraging to another brother in Christ), but didn't know what to say, or how to word it?
* If you want to compliment something about a guy, how do you go about it without sending the wrong signals?
* Guys, what tips would you give the rest of us for trying to say something supportive to you?
And, as a bonus-- How does one go about complimenting a man over his looks? I am a child of the 80's, and back then, all the girls described an attractive male (good golly, that sounds so sterile, like a lab description or something) as "cute". And I'm guessing men aren't very fond of that.
* Guys, would it ever be appropriate for someone to compliment your looks? What descriptions do you prefer -- would you want to be called "handsome", "good-looking", "cute", etc.?
* If you work out a lot at the gym, what could someone who notices that say without sounding like a stalker?
* Or, is it best not to say anything at all, to avoid any misunderstandings?
We are eagerly awaiting your replies.
-
9
-
1
-
1
-
1
- Show all
