Men and women are afraid of getting married .Why?

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17Bees

Senior Member
#21
Oct 14, 2016
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#21
Subhumanoidal said:
Who says this? Another thread making generalized claims. I see people all the time wanting to get married. Over here we have TV shows of ridiculous concepts of people desperate to get married. Marriage is still alive and well.
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Well - for whatever reason there actually are fewer marriages. Matter of fact, the number of marriages is down by nearly half of what it was in the early 80's. Marriages shot way up after WWII for fairly guessable reasons and stayed fairly steady, but after the 80's it plummeted. It's not just the US - it's global. There was a UN report not too long ago with numbers from all over showing a drastically downward trend.
 
Subhumanoidal

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
#23
Sep 17, 2018
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#23
17Bees said:
Well - for whatever reason there actually are fewer marriages. Matter of fact, the number of marriages is down by nearly half of what it was in the early 80's. Marriages shot way up after WWII for fairly guessable reasons and stayed fairly steady, but after the 80's it plummeted. It's not just the US - it's global. There was a UN report not too long ago with numbers from all over showing a drastically downward trend.
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I'm aware marriage is down, but as is common with the OP, his statements are often exaggerated. Marriage is still very common and sought after by many, even with the downward trend.
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#24
Mar 26, 2014
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#24
17Bees said:
Well - for whatever reason there actually are fewer marriages. Matter of fact, the number of marriages is down by nearly half of what it was in the early 80's. Marriages shot way up after WWII for fairly guessable reasons and stayed fairly steady, but after the 80's it plummeted. It's not just the US - it's global. There was a UN report not too long ago with numbers from all over showing a drastically downward trend.
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I think it's probably a combination of women's rights movements making it much less necessary for women to get married to thrive socially and economically; children of divorce not wanting to experience their own divorce and thinking if they never marry and just cohabitate then they'll not have to deal with the pain of divorce. This has been made easier by the social acceptability of cohabitation and in at least some ways replacing the goal of getting married with the goal of just being in a relationship. In some ways I think us younger generations are also suffering from too many options and so we've never been taught the courage to permanently commit to one thing (or person or relationship) to the exclusion of others. While the ability this allows people in a bad or abusive relationship to get out; it's also made the rest of our relationships a lot more temporary and fragile.
 
christian74

christian74

Senior Member
#25
Oct 1, 2013
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#25
maxima said:
..men and women afraid of getting married? Why? Why does has to be ,"what is it disnt't work out "? Can't we just believe?
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What about you?
I assume you are single, right?
Are you afraid of getting married?
Or is this what you observe in general w/ people around you?
 
TMS

TMS

Senior Member
#26
Mar 21, 2015
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Australia
#26
tourist said:
In my estimation, the two main reasons to being afraid of getting married are the fear of rejection or commitment.
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I agree as people understand the true meaning of marriage it scares them. When both people are willing to commit selflessly to the other the marriage is bound to work.
Selfish hearts don't want to be dethroned by a selfless, patient, and commited heart.
 
TMS

TMS

Senior Member
#27
Mar 21, 2015
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#27
I'm affraid of the unknown, but i believe my fears of marrage will disappear more and more as i get to know and fall in love with the person.
 
Subhumanoidal

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
#31
Sep 17, 2018
4,094
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#31
LadyInWaiting said:
90 Day Fiance
Love After Lockup
These people are so desperate. lol
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Yes, even The Bachelor/ette shows are sad. I hate watching any such show. Although a little over 10 years ago they did a prank version of the show that was hilarious. They brought in a pretty girl from a well to do family and put her with a guy who was in on the whole thing and actually an actor. He was a bit overweight and plain looking and they had him do and say all these things that were opposite of her and her culture. They carried the show on for a full season before letting her in on it for the last episode. Now that was some good tv :ROFL:
 
L

LadyInWaiting

Guest
#32
#32
Subhumanoidal said:
Yes, even The Bachelor/ette shows are sad. I hate watching any such show. Although a little over 10 years ago they did a prank version of the show that was hilarious. They brought in a pretty girl from a well to do family and put her with a guy who was in on the whole thing and actually an actor. He was a bit overweight and plain looking and they had him do and say all these things that were opposite of her and her culture. They carried the show on for a full season before letting her in on it for the last episode. Now that was some good tv :ROFL:
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OMG Yes I remember that one! I enjoyed it too.
 
Socreta93

Socreta93

Senior Member
#35
Jul 28, 2015
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#35
fear of rejection and probably not want to be involved in any unnecessary drama we hear about all the time.
 
SHANECOY

SHANECOY

New member
#38
Jan 13, 2019
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#38
I THOUGHT WITH MANY OF YOU BELIEVING IN GOD AND JESUS HIS SON ALONG WITH YOUR DETERMINED EFFORTS THAT MARRIAGE SHOULD BE WONDERFUL AND LONG LASTING.WHAT GIVES?ISNT FAITH IN GOD COUPLED WITH A SPOUSE WHO ALSO SHARES THAT BELIEF ENOUGH?
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#39
Jun 30, 2015
25,598
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#39
SHANECOY said:
I THOUGHT WITH MANY OF YOU BELIEVING IN GOD AND JESUS HIS SON ALONG WITH YOUR DETERMINED EFFORTS THAT MARRIAGE SHOULD BE WONDERFUL AND LONG LASTING.WHAT GIVES?ISNT FAITH IN GOD COUPLED WITH A SPOUSE WHO ALSO SHARES THAT BELIEF ENOUGH?
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Fair question.

I've seen variations of this question several times recently, and have the same thought in response to all: I (or you, or any individual) can pray, seek to do all that is right, work to sort out problems, and still fail, because I don't control the other person, or the rest of the world.

What it takes is both parties striving to make the marriage work... consistently and commitedly, through sick and sin. The testimonies like, "I just kept praying and God healed our marriage" are sadly rare. One person cannot make a marriage work. I know because I tried.

An aside: using ALL CAPS is considered the internet equivalent of shouting. Check your Caps Lock key. :)
 
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