Good day to you all, and happy new year.
I'm hoping that by reaching out in faith, some of you will be able to advise me on what follows.
I'm sure that contributors to these forums are worldly and pragmatic enough to understand that it would be particularly helpful if those who have some actual real life experience of what I'm talking about were to share their thoughts.
This prevents my request for help descending into purely theoretical or opinion driven discussion (that is, without the foundation of experience).
A bit of background:
I was not raised a Christian but converted a little over a year ago.
I do not have the experience of visiting churches of different denominations, and I currently still attend the same pentacostal church that I attended when I first converted.
I wish to make it clear that I do not take issue with the church that I am attending or any of the people in it.
Yes there are cliques that make me question the whole 'brothers and sisters in Christ' thing, but it could be worse.
Yes, some of the things they do, for example speaking in tongues and faith healing, are a bit dramatised and feel a bit like a show (for want of a better word), but whatever.
In short, I'm struggling with some aspects of the culture within the church, because some things strike me as being slightly odd or contrived.
To be more specific, in any other culture/club/society that I'm also part of, the societal rules or norms do not differ wildly (if at all) from those in everyday society.
However this does not hold for my church.
This is what I'm struggling with, and I wonder if it's the same elsewhere.
The difference in societal rules or norms does not appear to have anything to do with holding ourselves to a different standard in order to try to emulate God, or anything like that.
For example, the rate at which single people within the church get together is quite shocking, as is the speed with which they subsequently marry, have children, and so on.
Yes I know, people with similar interests get together.
I don't need to be told about how relationships work thanks, which is irrelevant to my point anyway.
The point is the speed at which people get together and go on to develop their relationship, and the observation that church people, more than people in any other society I've been a member of, couple with others from within the same society.
Obviously there may be some realistic reasons why this is the case.
Sex before marriage may be a 'pressure', but whatever.
Just one observation.
While on the subject of relationships, the unwritten rule I've observed is that all the single people who are 'in the market' for a partner tend to be on one of the church teams that volunteer on a Sunday.
Almost exclusively these teams are made up by younger single people.
I'm not knocking people who want to find a partner.
I'm not knocking anything, as a matter of fact.
I'm just struggling to reconcile what would be accepted as 'usual' or 'normal' on the outside, compared with what is considered normal or usual on the inside.
Apologies if this is coming across as a bit picky or critical, it isn't meant to.
I'm sure most readers are astute enough to understand what I mean and where I'm coming from.
I mentioned talking in tongues and faith healing above.
These aren't things that I eitness every Sunday, but they do have prominence within the church.
These things are subtly seen as an indicator to your 'level' of faith, or how close you are with God.
This doesn't sit right with me.
My spidey-senses are pretty sharp, and any talk of 'levels of faith' (however it is worded or prescribed) strikes me as man-made.
Tithing is another one.
I was introduced to the idea of tithing very early on, within the first two months of attending the Church.
Every other Sunday there will be an offering talk during which compulsory giving is justified with Malachi.
I'm no Biblical scholar, but were no longer under the old covenant and Malachi provides instructions on how best to organise resources to account for the good and bad times.
It doesn't provide an instruction from God that says giving 10% of your gross income to your church is compulsory.
Tithing in the church is also seen as an indicator to where you are with your faith.
If you're giving, especially if you're giving an appreciable amount, you're viewed as being more stable or strong in your faith.
Again, the faith levels thing, just worded differently.
Any practical views on any of this?
Thanks in advance.