LOL, wow I answer 14 pages later, and have no clue where the conversation at all is where this response will be posted, but yes I absolutely understand what you're saying, and honestly think it's a beautiful place to be, because I also see all these battles and questions as a man seeking truth, period. I now hold "truth" to be of the upmost importance now that I have been reborn of the Spirit, that is honestly not something I held dear in the flesh. In the flesh it's about sacred opinion, and the only sin is to offend someone else's opinion. It's madness when you give it any real thought, however "real thought" is in very short supply these days. Of course I only see this now because He opened my eyes to it in truth, and I remember what it's like to be comfortably lost in an endless sea of entertaining deception, as if truth was unknowable.
I praise God you're addressing these things and growing in Him. The view I've shared so far is the result of walking in Him for 5 years working through these things, reading for myself, taking time every morning to speak to, listen to, read His word, to get ready for the day. These are not at all things that I did from day 1, I have grown very much since then, and believe very differently now than I did Sept. 29th, 2013. I also believe I will believe very differently on some issues 5 years from now, it's a walk and I just want to encourage you by saying the truth is AMAZING the closer you get to Him, the hotter the fire grows. It's just plain exciting in my soul, and I have no idea where you are personally in your walk, but I want to testify that it gets bigger and bigger as you draw closer to Him. Jesus Christ is KING and everything is going under Him. We are called to "Go", and make disciples of ALL nations, and brother that power of the TRUTH to change men is the very definition of "real", and we are the mean by which this news is spread through all nations.
Even though I do absolutely believe God is in control of everything in sovereign power, I also understand that we, as his creation, are subject to time and space, and very much do make choices, and have "a" will, I just believe that will is governed by 1 of 2 different natures, namely the flesh and the spirit. I believe the bible says our "will" is enslaved to one of these natures, either we are slaves of sin, or slaves of Christ. So outside of the spirit we can not please God, but once a man is born again, His spirit brought to life and reconciled, by Hid grace, to the Holy Spirit, "plugged" back into Him as you were created to be, made whole in a way impossible by the flesh, you are now a new creature, called to serve and glorify our Great God in truth. I want to end with 1 last encouragement for you in the midst of working these things out, I also had to struggle with some of these hard issues, and that's not past tense and I pray that until the day He closes my eyes that I am working things out to be made more like Him, but there are these moments when He just opens your eyes to whole new truths that are almost as impactful and paradigm shifting as rebirth, it's amazing and so worth the struggles and researching. I pray He guide you and draw you closer every day and can't wait to hear testament of how He uses you for His glory out here. Have a great new year man, and I absolutely love these kinds of conversations, so thank you so much and I look forward to hearing back, of seeing other post from you.