Well dang nab it.
Dino beat me to it.
I was going to say, I'm pretty sure that men can't resist my uber--sexy glasses, because even though they're supposed to be the thinnest lenses available in my prescription, if I take them off--forget puny little ants--these babies are still thick enough to take the faintest ray of sunlight... and burn giant cockroaches to a crisp. (And who wouldn't want THAT as a first date?) Nothing says "steamy romance" like smoking insect carcasses...
As if that weren't irresistible enough, my fake capped teeth (top 6) contain more porcelain that your Grandmother's best china. Seeing as they're about 20 years old, the day they all fall off, I'm going to look like a Jack'O'Lantern--with tooth decay.
Behold, the smoldering sexiness!
I'd better stop posting now, before someone faints.