Kids are bouncing on the trampolines, noise fills the air. My mind’s thoughts begin to sync with every pounce. I start missing a friend or 2 here in Tucson, been really longing for more time spent with them. Anyway, those thoughts took me to missing my Dad, no longer here, and My Mama, still alive but no longer near. Those heavy thoughts called to my remembrance that soon I will be going to get my oldest and her babies as her hubby will soon be deployed. Bounce bounce bounce, jumbled thoughts hitting different places in my soul.
My emotions were also going in a bunch of different places. They were full of anticipation, and gratitude, but, somehow, also full of fretting, and lots of sadness filled with missing. Oh no, out of nowhere, there it was again, that recent pesky wound that hit hard awhile ago; it suddenly resurfaced, causing more time down the bumpy road of rejections. Yup, I picked it back up and started caressing the bruises of my past. Ugh, I thought that I had moved on, guess I was wrong. Here I am blessed as can be, with so much to do, and appreciate, but instead I feel my heart start to hurt. I quickly decided to go to my youversion bible app…
As I was reading, my mind began to settle.
Yes, I still miss my loves, but for now, with much less ache. Sure, there are still concerns and uncertainties, but those are nothing compared to what Moses and Aaron had to contend with; still, God took care of them. All is not perfect offline or on. Yes, growth, maturity, and acceptance are still needed. But just like all the action filled giggles that surround my atmosphere, there is so much joy and bliss to be had by just letting it all go.
Thanks again, my Lord, for holding me and all my places traveled...thanks for helping me, once again, to surrender everything, including those anxious wounded thoughts not rooted in You. Most of all. thanks for bringing me and everything else back to You.
My emotions were also going in a bunch of different places. They were full of anticipation, and gratitude, but, somehow, also full of fretting, and lots of sadness filled with missing. Oh no, out of nowhere, there it was again, that recent pesky wound that hit hard awhile ago; it suddenly resurfaced, causing more time down the bumpy road of rejections. Yup, I picked it back up and started caressing the bruises of my past. Ugh, I thought that I had moved on, guess I was wrong. Here I am blessed as can be, with so much to do, and appreciate, but instead I feel my heart start to hurt. I quickly decided to go to my youversion bible app…
As I was reading, my mind began to settle.
Yes, I still miss my loves, but for now, with much less ache. Sure, there are still concerns and uncertainties, but those are nothing compared to what Moses and Aaron had to contend with; still, God took care of them. All is not perfect offline or on. Yes, growth, maturity, and acceptance are still needed. But just like all the action filled giggles that surround my atmosphere, there is so much joy and bliss to be had by just letting it all go.
Thanks again, my Lord, for holding me and all my places traveled...thanks for helping me, once again, to surrender everything, including those anxious wounded thoughts not rooted in You. Most of all. thanks for bringing me and everything else back to You.
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