May I ask why and what got you into the drugs and alcohol? All my parents and countless other relatives either do one or the other or both. Yet, a lot of them do it for different reasons. For some, it ruins their life, for some it makes their physical life okay for awhile then terrible, and some it ruins it immediately even leading to most their life in prison and no friends or family and being homeless. I would have probably turned to those things if I didn't have so many lives to look at and just see the drugs and alcohol never make anyone's life truly better. It's just a way to run from your problems if you abuse it, and you abuse yourself and your body that could end up with many problems or killing you at a young age. People even tried to tell me the drugs you smoke that are illegal would take away my seizures I had for 10 years since I was 14. But this year when I was homeless and trying to get a job and keep it, even my job couldn't keep paying for my medicine to help my seizures. it was either give up food and other things and buy the medicine, or take the risk of having seizures at a job where people alone get injured every month by machines, forklifts, saw machines, etc. I prayed and trusted if it be his will, then it will be done. I did pray for years, but this time it appears he has taken my seizures away permanently, saving me countless money and time with doctors and such. I hated those seizure pills so much that I tried to kill myself on a bottle of them with about 60,000mg altogether before I was saved and 16 years old.
I hate drugs far more than alcohol. My parents kept me out of schools to hide their illegal drugs and spent all their money on that with drug dealers and never bought me clothes, shampoo, tooth paste or anything to keep me healthy and clothed since I was 9 years old. That makes me hate drugs by even that alone. But I've been high before, I've been drunk, I see why people do it, but it isn't the answer to anyone's problems. It's just temporarily relief, but I understand if you don't know a way to get rid of your pain, burdens and sufferings, then what else do you do?
Really, when I was 11, I turned to cutting myself. Over the years, I used blood in crazy way and now you find more than half my body having big, long and countless scars. The last time I cut myself was a couple years ago, and I wrote a poem that day about it being the last cut. I doubted it would be, but Christ has given me the strength to overcome it like someone needs to overcome a drug or alcohol. Now days the thoughts still come to me, but then I think of how far I have come from all that useless misery, and I don't want to go back to it. But now I am struggling time to time how to handle my emotions in tough times. It's a bit rough with my wife seeing this change but the Lord takes time changing use. As it's written, he is potter and we are the clay. It takes awhile for the clay to become a perfection of what it is meant to be.
I talk to much don't I? Heh. How about you just tell me what led you to the drugs and alcohol? I'm curious.
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