Hey Umzza, still feeling down? You know there was a man named Solomon who asked these kind of questions. He was battling with some hard times that had him discouraged it seems. I totally think sometimes life is painful and quite arduous but He is our hope.
. The name of his book is Ecclesiastes. It is filled with words of a man struggling with what sounds like depression. This was his drawn conclusion...
Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.
Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 KJV
https://bible.com/bible/1/ecc.12.13-14.KJV
Why do we do this practically beyond the truth of what's to come? Why do we concern ourselves with the negative or good consequences of our choices made today that won't be known until another day, possibly way on down the road?
I have set the Lord always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope.
Psalms 16:8-9 KJV
https://bible.com/bible/1/psa.16.8-9.KJV