I have a problem with older men....

[Mel85]

Over the past year or so, I’ve found myself to be drawn or attracted to older men, say twice my age (between 40 and 50 year olds).

I’m actually finding that some of them I can actually connect with in terms of conversations and sharing the passion of Jesus Christ. I’m not a person who’s super mature either, but for some reason, these older men are just ones who are cool calm and collective and that I can easily converse with, some of whom have great sense of humour.

I think I’ve shamed myself to even think that, the older you get, the less humorous you become and your serious side comes out as you age, but some of these men have proven me wrong of that indeed.

My only concern is, of course, the age gap and the worry that I might actually fall in love, which scares me (I’m only human!). I’ve kept all these friendships FRIENDZONED because of that very reason and I might add that it’s all been online. Maybe they could be different in real life?

My question is, do or have any of you experienced this before? Whether older or younger (and let’s hope nothing illegal), but what did you do about it or how can you overcome it, if it’s even possible?

Any advice for a sister would help. Thanks.

 

[Deade]

Over the past year or so, I’ve found myself to be drawn or attracted to older men, say twice my age (between 40 and 50 year olds).

I’m actually finding that some of them I can actually connect with in terms of conversations and sharing the passion of Jesus Christ. I’m not a person who’s super mature either, but for some reason, these older men are just ones who are cool calm and collective and that I can easily converse with, some of whom have great sense of humour.

I think I’ve shamed myself to even think that, the older you get, the less humorous you become and your serious side comes out as you age, but some of these men have proven me wrong of that indeed.

My only concern is, of course, the age gap and the worry that I might actually fall in love, which scares me (I’m only human!). I’ve kept all these friendships FRIENDZONED because of that very reason and I might add that it’s all been online. Maybe they could be different in real life?

My question is, do or have any of you experienced this before? Whether older or younger (and let’s hope nothing illegal), but what did you do about it or how can you overcome it, if it’s even possible?

Any advice for a sister would help. Thanks.

Hiya Mel, since I am off the market and still out of you age range, I might be able to help a little. Some people say when a young lady turns to older gents that they have a daddy complex. A growing girl that has no dad or one that leaves early can get these complexes. Christian counselling will tell if you have this and it can help.

Most men I have talked to have admitted that their minds were full of foolishness until they approached late twenties or about 30. That foolishness reflects in one as childish. Keep looking there is a balanced male about your age that is just right for you. But don't shut out any real life prospects. Once you meet someone in person, you will know if age is a barrier.

 

[Hamarr]

I can see that. I used to have a thing for older women when I was younger and definitely had some mommy issues. 😛

 

[Lillywolf]

I never had a thing for older guys. However, I do understand how it can happen if one grows weary of those in their age range who act very young for their age.
Maybe take time to study in your own mind what exactly it is about older men you prefer .It could all lead as a thread to a bigger issue within yourself. Older guys are OK when within a certain age range. Where it gets unhealthy or creepy is when the woman is 19 and her love interest is in his 40's lets say. And when it is reciprocal that's a really strange visual. She wasn't to be born for 21 more years on the day he entered the world.
And really, take your time finding a guy. Maybe older guys you're attracted to are there for the wisdom they can impart more than as a passion partner husband of the future. Just a thought.

 

[Lillywolf]

I can see that. I used to have a thing for older women when I was younger and definitely had some mommy issues. 😛

Some people do. What turns my stomach though is to hear a grown woman call her husband daddy.
Or vice versa. A grown man calling his wife mommy.
Seriously.

 

[Hamarr]

Some people do. What turns my stomach though is to hear a grown woman call her husband daddy.
Or vice versa. A grown man calling his wife mommy.
Seriously.

I had an aunt and uncle who did that. It was stomach turning. 😛

The woman calling the man daddy does weird me out, too. Not sure I have generally heard the reverse.

 

[Lillywolf]

I had an aunt and uncle who did that. It was stomach turning. 😛

The woman calling the man daddy does weird me out, too. Not sure I have generally heard the reverse.

I've not heard the reverse either. However, if a woman can call her husband daddy I figured I might as well figure on the reverse as a possibility.

I heard two women talking about their man once. They were apparently in a polyamorous relationship considering the adoption of a dog at a local shelter. These women had to be in their 30's or so and were using the daddy phrase as they weighed whether it would be a good idea to bring home a puppy. "Do you think daddy would get mad at us?" The one lady asked the other.

I sure wouldn't know but "daddy" might wonder how that vomit got on the back of your pant leg after using the daddy word for ten minutes. Because the lady behind you was thinking about adopting one of the other puppies while finding it impossible to overhear your discussion. Lord.

 

[maxwel]

Don't just settle for an "older" man.
Raise the bar -
go for the "oldest" man.

 

[Sweetmorningdew78]

Some people do. What turns my stomach though is to hear a grown woman call her husband daddy.
Or vice versa. A grown man calling his wife mommy.
Seriously.

I don't know but in Philippines it is very common to call his wife mommy,mama,nanay or nay or call her husband daddy,papa, tatay or tay ,nanay or tay. It is the swetest term of endearment in Philippines

 

[Demi777]

Over the past year or so, I’ve found myself to be drawn or attracted to older men, say twice my age (between 40 and 50 year olds).

I’m actually finding that some of them I can actually connect with in terms of conversations and sharing the passion of Jesus Christ. I’m not a person who’s super mature either, but for some reason, these older men are just ones who are cool calm and collective and that I can easily converse with, some of whom have great sense of humour.

I think I’ve shamed myself to even think that, the older you get, the less humorous you become and your serious side comes out as you age, but some of these men have proven me wrong of that indeed.

My only concern is, of course, the age gap and the worry that I might actually fall in love, which scares me (I’m only human!). I’ve kept all these friendships FRIENDZONED because of that very reason and I might add that it’s all been online. Maybe they could be different in real life?

My question is, do or have any of you experienced this before? Whether older or younger (and let’s hope nothing illegal), but what did you do about it or how can you overcome it, if it’s even possible?

Any advice for a sister would help. Thanks.

Same. I have a pretty big age gap. I just cant deal with folks my age. They're just boys.
If u cant be confortable dont mess witg it.
Idk how old u r so i cant like give much of a opinion.

 

[Mel85]

Hiya Mel, since I am off the market and still out of you age range, I might be able to help a little. Some people say when a young lady turns to older gents that they have a daddy complex. A growing girl that has no dad or one that leaves early can get these complexes. Christian counselling will tell if you have this and it can help.

Most men I have talked to have admitted that their minds were full of foolishness until they approached late twenties or about 30. That foolishness reflects in one as childish. Keep looking there is a balanced male about your age that is just right for you. But don't shut out any real life prospects. Once you meet someone in person, you will know if age is a barrier.

Thanks Deade and hmmm I don’t think it’s about that whole “daddy complex” thing, I mean, I’m still looking after both my parents (it’s kind of a cultural thing here, until I get married).

I think its Just these older men are funny and can bring some good conversations through.

Appreciate the advice D 💙

 

[Mel85]

I can see that. I used to have a thing for older women when I was younger and definitely had some mommy issues. 😛

I guess it’s similar to this, except I don’t have any infactuation with these men lol.

 

[CharliRenee]

I think it makes perfect sense, for many of the reasons you expressed. And it works out cuz guys that age, 40-50 and older are only attracted to a younger women anyways I'm not being sarcastic or bitter, or throwing shade, truly. I'm just saying older and younger can be a nice connection. I do want to say that if you get too much older and you fall madly in love, you might not have as long. On the other hand, a beautiful 10 to twenty years with a man of God, with a woman devoted also to God, may be worth the possible shortened time. I totally understand being attracted to older men, they get better in every way as they age. Dang jerks, Hahaha, jk. Of course this isn't always true, either.

Great thread..

 

[Mel85]

I never had a thing for older guys. However, I do understand how it can happen if one grows weary of those in their age range who act very young for their age.
Maybe take time to study in your own mind what exactly it is about older men you prefer .It could all lead as a thread to a bigger issue within yourself. Older guys are OK when within a certain age range. Where it gets unhealthy or creepy is when the woman is 19 and her love interest is in his 40's lets say. And when it is reciprocal that's a really strange visual. She wasn't to be born for 21 more years on the day he entered the world.
And really, take your time finding a guy. Maybe older guys you're attracted to are there for the wisdom they can impart more than as a passion partner husband of the future. Just a thought.

I agree with the whole 19 and 40 love interest thing, there definitely has to be boundaries in terms of that.

I like what you said about the widom part and it’s true. I also find that spiritual wisdom in God and His Word from a man is one of the most attractive traits.

 

[Mel85]

I don't know but in Philippines it is very common to call his wife mommy,mama,nanay or nay or call her husband daddy,papa, tatay or tay ,nanay or tay. It is the swetest term of endearment in Philippines

That’s beautiful. The grandchildren here in our culture call their grandparents Mamas and Papas

 

[Mel85]

Same. I have a pretty big age gap. I just cant deal with folks my age. They're just boys.
If u cant be confortable dont mess witg it.
Idk how old u r so i cant like give much of a opinion.

You’re about 18/19 aren’t ya? That age group are still trying to find their feet imo.

I’m 33 years old lol.

 

[Mel85]

I think it makes perfect sense, for many of the reasons you expressed. And it works out cuz guys that age, 40-50 and older are only attracted to a younger women anyways I'm not being sarcastic or bitter, or throwing shade, truly. I'm just saying older and younger can be a nice connection. I do want to say that if you get too much older and you fall madly in love, you might not have as long. On the other hand, a beautiful 10 to twenty years with a man of God, with a woman devoted also to God, may be worth the possible shortened time. I totally understand being attracted to older men, they get better in every way as they age. Dang jerks, Hahaha, jk. Of course this isn't always true, either.

Great thread..

Lol, let’s not forget that for women too ma sister

 

[Mel85]

I think it makes perfect sense, for many of the reasons you expressed. And it works out cuz guys that age, 40-50 and older are only attracted to a younger women anyways I'm not being sarcastic or bitter, or throwing shade, truly. I'm just saying older and younger can be a nice connection. I do want to say that if you get too much older and you fall madly in love, you might not have as long. On the other hand, a beautiful 10 to twenty years with a man of God, with a woman devoted also to God, may be worth the possible shortened time. I totally understand being attracted to older men, they get better in every way as they age. Dang jerks, Hahaha, jk. Of course this isn't always true, either.

Great thread..

Would you consider a man younger than yourself? 10 years apart?

 

[Demi777]

You’re about 18/19 aren’t ya? That age group are still trying to find their feet imo.

I’m 33 years old lol.

Its easier to find someone on ur level aroung ur age. But i can understand ya

Well im not trying to find my feet but thanks for stereotyping me

 

[Mel85]

Its easier to find someone on ur level aroung ur age. But i can understand ya

Well im not trying to find my feet but thanks for stereotyping me

Sorry, didn’t mean to stereotype you - I guess I’m speaking for myself, at your age I was still acting like a kid, and to be fair I still do at times lol.

But I do know some people around your age are super mature, some more mature than Generations X & Y.