Does Anyone Else Feel Intimidated by the "I Only Date to Marry" Philosophy?

[Kojikun]

Nooooo don't say that fam. That's why Japan is struggling

I know just a joke I doubt anyone here got it lol

 

[LightBright]

I know just a joke I doubt anyone here got it lol

There like "a waifu....isn't that the same thing?......" you can't be a weeb here you gotta be a normal.

 

[Kojikun]

There like "a waifu....isn't that the same thing?......" you can't be a weeb here you gotta be a normal.

Yeah I know I've been frequenting this site since 2014 lol anime fans come and go lol :3 I never really bought into the whole Waifu concept it just seems odd and kinda sad in way no offense to anyone who does it but I'd rather have someone actually here lol

 

[LightBright]

Yeah I know I've been frequenting this site since 2014 lol anime fans come and go lol :3 I never really bought into the whole Waifu concept it just seems odd and kinda sad in way no offense to anyone who does it but I'd rather have someone actually here lol

Yea i argue over it with other weebs but i don't seriously like love them like some people do. Arguing over it is fun though....i think i just like arguing sometimes xD. I also draw though so i pay a lot more attention to stuff then most people so maybe that's why hmmm

 

[Kojikun]

Yea i argue over it with other weebs but i don't seriously like love them like some people do. Arguing over it is fun though....i think i just like arguing sometimes xD. I also draw though so i pay a lot more attention to stuff then most people so maybe that's why hmmm

Yeah the artistically inclined tend to focus more on detail I find. At least thats true for me lol

 

[LightBright]

Yeah the artistically inclined tend to focus more on detail I find. At least thats true for me lol

Aight lets not ruin her thread by being weebs xD.

 

[seoulsearch]

Aight lets not ruin her thread by being weebs xD.

Lol.

No worries. Actually... I don't know if any of you would be interested in starting a thread about that but it might be a lively discussion.

I've been watching a few videos lately about Japan's declining population and the fact that young people don't want to marry, often because they are idealizing pop stars, robots, and anime characters instead.

 

[Kojikun]

Aight lets not ruin her thread by being weebs xD.

Ah good point :3 lol Well in an attempt to get back on topic I will say I normally look for marriage purposes but I do like to start as friends and if it doesn't go anywhere stay that way

 

[Kojikun]

Lol.

No worries. Actually... I don't know if any of you would be interested in starting a thread about that but it might be a lively discussion.

I've been watching a few videos lately about Japan's declining population and the fact that young people don't want to marry, often because they are idealizing pop stars, robots, and anime characters instead.

Fair point but there may not be enough weebery to go around on this site it maybe just two or three people going back and forward lol Not that thats a bad thing of course

 

[LightBright]

Lol.

No worries. Actually... I don't know if any of you would be interested in starting a thread about that but it might be a lively discussion.

I've been watching a few videos lately about Japan's declining population and the fact that young people don't want to marry, often because they are idealizing pop stars, robots, and anime characters instead.

Yea they definitely need Jesus maybe that would make an interesting thread hmmmm. Either way thanks I happen to be learning about Japan so I know some stuff cx.

 

[LightBright]

Fair point but there may not be enough weebery to go around on this site it maybe just two or three people going back and forward lol Not that thats a bad thing of course

You should start a thread so i don't have to.

 

[Kojikun]

You should start a thread so i don't have to.

hmmmm people at this point seem to be well aware of my hmmm whats the word Uniqueness ? lol my threads usually self destruct lol

 

[seoulsearch]

Fair point but there may not be enough weebery to go around on this site it maybe just two or three people going back and forward lol Not that thats a bad thing of course

I could be wrong, but a discussion like that would probably interest both weebs and us old-fashioned non-weebs alike. (I used to watch some anime but all my references are OLD, like Akira and Fist of the North Star.)

The world in general seems to be headed towards robotic companions and/or virtual reality when it comes to relationships.

One of the videos I watched about the subject was with (I think) an American company who was producing... Let's just say, a companionship doll with interchangeable features (looks, voice, personality, name) so that the owner could fantasize about being with a different woman any time he wanted.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the prototype they were working on was "female" (after all, it's really 3-D porn), but they didn't hesitate to mention that a male version was also in the works.

 

[seoulsearch]

hmmmm people at this point seem to be well aware of my hmmm whats the word Uniqueness ? lol my threads usually self destruct lol

You write very good threads, Koji.

Keep trying--don't give up.

I'm not able to follow all the threads here--I have to pick and choose because of time constraints--but I've seen some of yours and they're actually quite good, even if there isn't as large of an audience here (yet) as you might hope for. (Or, they could all be out there and just not saying anything.)

 

[Kojikun]

I could be wrong, but a discussion like that would probably interest both weebs and us old-fashioned non-weebs alike. (I used to watch some anime but all my references are OLD, like Akira and Fist of the North Star.)

The world in general seems to be headed towards robotic companions and/or virtual reality when it comes to relationships.

One of the videos I watched about the subject was with (I think) an American company who was producing... Let's just say, a companionship doll with interchangeable features (looks, voice, personality, name) so that the owner could fantasize about being with a different woman any time he wanted.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the prototype they were working on was "female" (after all, it's really 3-D porn), but they didn't hesitate to mention that a male version was also in the works.

Yeeeeah I know all about that stuff I've been struggling with that kind of stuff since I was young so maybe a discussion around it would not be best for me at the moment....haven't seen Akira in years lol

 

[Hallmark04]

Perhaps overthinking is taking place here. (The original OP).

I would imagine the age of those who are dating makes a world of difference. In my 20's, I wanted tall and cute. Yep, incredibly shallow. I married a man that was that. Other things, fortunately, aligned as well, but some things did not. I was too immature to see the difference.....or care.

He passed away and when I was again single, I tried very hard to find the opposite of him. I was being more mature, I thought, and seeking better qualities. I remarried and divorced five years later.

So again I am single. As the op shared, it bothers her to feel like she is on an "interview". I suppose I can see that a bit, but isn't every date an interview of sorts? Time spent together, learning about the other, etc.

I agree with an above poster about seal breakers. Must be same faith (no "other", not Catholic, not a denomination which seems to be "tickling ears" and allowing pastors who are openly and proudly sinning in their daily lives, no LDS, etc). I will not move from this standard. Period.

Attractiveness matters. Intimacy is vital. Financially secure (both) usually matters to each. Even family dynamics matter (should have paid attention to this one while dating my late husband).

If not dating for a purpose, then why bother? Casual dating will eventually either lead to casual sex or frustration for one or both of the couple. We are not to exasperate our children, as the Bible tells us, why would we want to exasperate the person we may fall in love with?

At 54 now, wisdom, maturity, self reflection, strength and most importantly, the overwhelming love for the Lord is what guides my decisions. Internet dating is fine, but having a clear purpose and standards are vital. Being unafraid to ask questions which matter is huge!!!! Being open to sharing who you really are is imperative.

Dating is learning. If two people are role playing and refusing to be honest (from the beginning) to simply "date", the result may be less than stellar.

Dating with a purpose (marriage) truly weeds out, quickly, those who have other things on their mind.

 

[LightBright]

Perhaps overthinking is taking place here. (The original OP).

I would imagine the age of those who are dating makes a world of difference. In my 20's, I wanted tall and cute. Yep, incredibly shallow. I married a man that was that. Other things, fortunately, aligned as well, but some things did not. I was too immature to see the difference.....or care.

He passed away and when I was again single, I tried very hard to find the opposite of him. I was being more mature, I thought, and seeking better qualities. I remarried and divorced five years later.

So again I am single. As the op shared, it bothers her to feel like she is on an "interview". I suppose I can see that a bit, but isn't every date an interview of sorts? Time spent together, learning about the other, etc.

I agree with an above poster about seal breakers. Must be same faith (no "other", not Catholic, not a denomination which seems to be "tickling ears" and allowing pastors who are openly and proudly sinning in their daily lives, no LDS, etc). I will not move from this standard. Period.

Attractiveness matters. Intimacy is vital. Financially secure (both) usually matters to each. Even family dynamics matter (should have paid attention to this one while dating my late husband).

If not dating for a purpose, then why bother? Casual dating will eventually either lead to casual sex or frustration for one or both of the couple. We are not to exasperate our children, as the Bible tells us, why would we want to exasperate the person we may fall in love with?

At 54 now, wisdom, maturity, self reflection, strength and most importantly, the overwhelming love for the Lord is what guides my decisions. Internet dating is fine, but having a clear purpose and standards are vital. Being unafraid to ask questions which matter is huge!!!! Being open to sharing who you really are is imperative.

Dating is learning. If two people are role playing and refusing to be honest (from the beginning) to simply "date", the result may be less than stellar.

Dating with a purpose (marriage) truly weeds out, quickly, those who have other things on their mind.

You're a very wise woman I'll remember your advice for sure, we should have biblical, non negotiable standards and then anything more should be more optional. I think we are too picky, I'm picky about like everything, and a lot of the time we sacrifice the things that matter for less important things. The perfect example is the loud mouthed girl that's super cute, save yourself the time, and heartache, and make sure your wife is virtuous not just cute.

 

[seoulsearch]

Hi Hallmark,

Thank you for your post!

I definitely agree with "dating with a purpose" and not leading anyone on.

Maybe I just have a slightly different view of dating than many people. I'm just not in a huge rush to get married so I like to take my time in getting to know someone, while I would find that when I was actively looking, I often felt rushed and hurried, as if the other person was trying to see if we could get married within a few months (or at least, announce that we were in a relationship.)

As far as age goes, I'm guess I'm about right in the middle (soon to be 45.)

I don't feel the hurried desperation of my younger years, as I accepted long ago that God has brought me into a new chapter of life.

I used to be very worried about finding someone, and within a certain time frame (I remember one person telling me, "You'd better find someone now [early 30's]! You don't want to be looking at getting married when you're old, like around 50, would you?"

Hard to believe I'm almost there. But, I don't have any regrets.

Rather than feeling the hurried pressure of my younger years, my philosophy now is just, "I'm going to try to go wherever God seems to lead... and if I happen to meet someone along the way, that'd be swell. But even if I don't, it's going to be ok," which is lot more peaceful than how I used to view dating.

 

[Hallmark04]

You're a very wise woman I'll remember your advice for sure, we should have biblical, non negotiable standards and then anything more should be more optional. I think we are too picky, I'm picky about like everything, and a lot of the time we sacrifice the things that matter for less important things. The perfect example is the loud mouthed girl that's super cute, save yourself the time, and heartache, and make sure your wife is virtuous not just cute.

There is picky to the point of "perfection" and that will never be obtained.

There is picky as pertaining to God's standards and those will be true blessings.

Not everyone is attracted to or attracted by the other. What a mess that would be...lol. But I do believe in giving all potential dates an opportunity (of course as long as the deal breakers are not there). One never knows what real treasure may be discovered which was not seen from the surface.

 

[Hallmark04]

Hi Hallmark,

Thank you for your post!

I definitely agree with "dating with a purpose" and not leading anyone on.

Maybe I just have a slightly different view of dating than many people. I'm just not in a huge rush to get married so I like to take my time in getting to know someone, while I would find that when I was actively looking, I often felt rushed and hurried, as if the other person was trying to see if we could get married within a few months (or at least, announce that we were in a relationship.)

As far as age goes, I'm guess I'm about right in the middle (soon to be 45.)

I don't feel the hurried desperation of my younger years, as I accepted long ago that God has brought me into a new chapter of life.

I used to be very worried about finding someone, and within a certain time frame (I remember one person telling me, "You'd better find someone now [early 30's]! You don't want to be looking at getting married when you're old, like around 50, would you?"

Hard to believe I'm almost there. But, I don't have any regrets.

Rather than feeling the hurried pressure of my younger years, my philosophy now is just, "I'm going to try to go wherever God seems to lead... and if I happen to meet someone along the way, that'd be swell. But even if I don't, it's going to be ok," which is lot more peaceful than how I used to view dating.

That is a very good place to rest. God will fill the voids so you are complete now and even if He chooses to have someone enter your life.

I too am not in a huge hurry, but having my husband who I was to grow old with, die at 44, I lived a life which showed me that we cannot plan the future, we must live to the fullest each day, and most importantly, my timeline is not God's. So if He chooses to put someone in my life, I will trust Him to make that path straight and His prompting on His time (not mine) will move me forward to marriage (if it is His will).