I am struggling

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Hepzibah

Senior Member
#21
Apr 18, 2015
337
24
18
#21
@ManiaStar

I fully empathise with you dear girl. If your situation is similar to mine, it is because I became involved with someone with a personality disorder (narcissist), and after the initial love bombing, and spending all of my time with him, I ended up 'addicted' to him and when it came to the time of dismissal (21 years married) I could not get him out of my head and was left in a bad state. I suspected that he had someone lined up beforehand.

The problem is that you cannot deal with this problem cognitively and there is little or no help in the church that just says forgive and move on. You cannot. You are stuck. The problem is that you have been traumatised and it takes more than positive thinking to get over that. Often one needs psychotherapy but in the event of not being able to afford or find a psychologist, there is help on the internet. Thank God.

There is a lot of work online that deals with the childhood abuse that leads one to get attached to another abuser. You ahve to work on the 'inner child'. You have to get back in touch with the part of you that shut down as a child in order toheal and love that inner child and show her all the love you have not received and know that you have to love yourself and remiove all of the false programming from childhood.
 
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ManiaStar

Senior Member
#22
Nov 14, 2015
381
29
28
#22
Hepzibah said:
@ManiaStar

I fully empathise with you dear girl. If your situation is similar to mine, it is because I became involved with someone with a personality disorder (narcissist), and after the initial love bombing, and spending all of my time with him, I ended up 'addicted' to him and when it came to the time of dismissal (21 years married) I could not get him out of my head and was left in a bad state. I suspected that he had someone lined up beforehand.

The problem is that you cannot deal with this problem cognitively and there is little or no help in the church that just says forgive and move on. You cannot. You are stuck. The problem is that you have been traumatised and it takes more than positive thinking to get over that. Often one needs psychotherapy but in the event of not being able to afford or find a psychologist, there is help on the internet. Thank God.

There is a lot of work online that deals with the childhood abuse that leads one to get attached to another abuser. You ahve to work on the 'inner child'. You have to get back in touch with the part of you that shut down as a child in order toheal and love that inner child and show her all the love you have not received and know that you have to love yourself and remiove all of the false programming from childhood.
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I have trouble getting him out of my mind. It's easier now but, still hard. Growing up, there was a lot of love in my life. I of course did have quarrels w/ my parents and other issues but, there was still lots of love. My problem now is that i'm looking for love in the wrong places. I think bc I was so used to how my bf loved me, how much time he and i spent together and we did so much together too.
 
Jan7777777

Jan7777777

Active member
#23
Oct 19, 2018
224
154
43
#23
ManiaStar said:
About a week ago, I started getting depressed again about my ex and that entire situation. I’m really struggling with this. I had been good for a long time but been depressed now for a little more then a week and I just can’t shake it this time. I’m praying about it.. also praying for him.

But filled with emotion and it’s affecting me to a big extent. I’m so unhappy. So far, it’s been 8 1/2 months since he cheated on me and I can’t get my mind away from it.

I cannot handle the stress or the pain of this anymore. Instead of me improving or things getting better, I feel it’s gett worse and now with winter coming, the holidays coming, I don’t know what to do.
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I have been where you are now.....and time really does heal the broken heart. you have to re focus when he comes to your mind...he was a part at one time and of course your mind will automatically go back and forth, but when it does...re focus....watch a movie...read a good book....God impressed on my mind to go to the library one time when I was really sad and when I got there I just stood waiting to see what he would say next and the name of a book by Norman Vincent Peale came to my mind, and boy did it help me get through until I found out how to make it stop completely..... I think its "The art of real happiness"....so different things help sidetrack me to not feel so horrible.....then I felt my spirit detaching from my body...I knew it was demonic attack, and I praised the Lord and it stopped...the next day it was worse, I just kept praising the Lord until it released 3 years later, and its not come back , its been years. it may not take you that long, mine was a attack...it taught me something tho....satan tries to bring down warriors, ones that can make difference in lives. I seek who I can help, or teach, or witness or just be an example, anything to help someone to come to Jesus. I am not perfect by no means, I struggle with anger sometimes, people that are so evil , it angers me, but, I have been praying to be filled up with so much love it will torment satan, he hates love
 
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