Setting the Bar High

[Hallmark04]

This quote is interesting to me. Do God honoring men and women, who are single, still exist and choose to set their bar high as they are praying for the person God has for them?

Are men and women capable of giving everything of themselves to another.....all in God's timing?

"But ladies... don't settle for a boy. Wait for a man who treats you like an investment, not a test drive. A man who looks beyond your outer beauty and falls in love with your inner soul. But most of all, a man who doesn't expect anything until he's given you everything. No man is perfect. But honor, integrity, respect, and the love of God are not optional for men, they are essential."

 

[cinder]

This quote is interesting to me. Do God honoring men and women, who are single, still exist and choose to set their bar high as they are praying for the person God has for them?

Are men and women capable of giving everything of themselves to another.....all in God's timing?

"But ladies... don't settle for a boy. Wait for a man who treats you like an investment, not a test drive. A man who looks beyond your outer beauty and falls in love with your inner soul. But most of all, a man who doesn't expect anything until he's given you everything. No man is perfect. But honor, integrity, respect, and the love of God are not optional for men, they are essential."

I was just thinking earlier tonight, something about I have impossibly high standards......





for myself. And just extremely high standards for the rest of humanity. But I am pretty convinced that a man who ain't hot (whoops I meant got) honor, integrity, and the love of God, ain't a man worth having. Of course at this point I also expect to be single for life barring divine intervention, but I still maintain there are worse fates.

 

[Hallmark04]

I was just thinking earlier tonight, something about I have impossibly high standards......





for myself. And just extremely high standards for the rest of humanity. But I am pretty convinced that a man who ain't hot (whoops I meant got) honor, integrity, and the love of God, ain't a man worth having. Of course at this point I also expect to be single for life barring divine intervention, but I still maintain there are worse fates.

If it makes you feel any better, I probably will too.

 

[cinder]

If it makes you feel any better, I probably will too.

I'm thinking by that time we should be able to organize some sort of CC singles senior housing and we can all live in the same neighborhood and then we won't be lonely.

 

[theanointedsinner]

https://genius.com/Billy-joel-uptown-girl-lyrics

 

[Hallmark04]

I'm thinking by that time we should be able to organize some sort of CC singles senior housing and we can all live in the same neighborhood and then we won't be lonely.

. Won't be too long for me… LOL

 

[Dino246]

This quote is interesting to me. Do God honoring men and women, who are single, still exist and choose to set their bar high as they are praying for the person God has for them?

Are men and women capable of giving everything of themselves to another.....all in God's timing?

"But ladies... don't settle for a boy. Wait for a man who treats you like an investment, not a test drive. A man who looks beyond your outer beauty and falls in love with your inner soul. But most of all, a man who doesn't expect anything until he's given you everything. No man is perfect. But honor, integrity, respect, and the love of God are not optional for men, they are essential."

Welcome to Singles!

The quote is interesting, and parts of it uphold some worthwhile values. However, I take issue with "a man who doesn't expect anything until he's given you everything." That's slavery, not relationship between two equals. Women aren't on a pedestal, that they should be worshiped. If, however, the statement is coded language meant to imply that a man shouldn't expect sex until after the wedding, then I'm in full agreement. Basically, I think expectations should generally be based on agreements, and aside from them, neither should expect something of the other that they are unwilling to do themselves. The bar should be high on both sides.

 

[Hamarr]

Welcome to Singles!

The quote is interesting, and parts of it uphold some worthwhile values. However, I take issue with "a man who doesn't expect anything until he's given you everything." That's slavery, not relationship between two equals. Women aren't on a pedestal, that they should be worshiped. If, however, the statement is coded language meant to imply that a man shouldn't expect sex until after the wedding, then I'm in full agreement. Basically, I think expectations should generally be based on agreements, and aside from them, neither should expect something of the other that they are unwilling to do themselves. The bar should be high on both sides.

Yes, this is something I was wanting to articulate, perhaps as a new thread, but wasn't sure how. The first part, if the man is to only serve to prove his worth, he is putting whoever he is dating above him. I forgot where I read this, it was in an article about women not settling that women are a princess and should be treated as such, but men are a prince and that shouldn't be forgotten.

 

[Solemateleft]

This quote is interesting to me. Do God honoring men and women, who are single, still exist and choose to set their bar high as they are praying for the person God has for them?

YES - especially if they have learned valuable life lessons by God's hand along the way...

Are men and women capable of giving everything of themselves to another.....all in God's timing?

YES - that is the dream isn't it...

"But ladies... don't settle for a boy. Wait for a man who treats you like an investment, not a test drive. A man who looks beyond your outer beauty and falls in love with your inner soul. But most of all, a man who doesn't expect anything until he's given you everything. No man is perfect. But honor, integrity, respect, and the love of God are not optional for men, they are essential."

Can't argue with the sensibility of the spirit and intent of the message captured within this quote... I need to share this with my daughter as well as my sons...

 

[Hallmark04]

This was just a quote which was simply refreshing to read.

If others out there are also single, we all know the struggles involved in trying to date in this day. As a woman, the expectation has consistently been to be intimate quickly. Of course, I am dumped quickly because I refuse....lol. So this quote was just a nice place to land and breathe for a moment.

Of course relationships take two and both valuing the other if not equal, then more. But the reality of the dating world is that men who value women are few and far between (no doubt the same view is held by men, of women). This quote was by a man who is consistently sharing his love for his wife and placing her solidly as his number one earthly priority. It is beautiful to watch their relationship.

So that quote, in my opinion, is not demeaning to men at all. It is celebrating that there are men who value women above all else (or could value and single woman who is to him, above all else).

 

[Hamarr]

I guess I am hung up on thinking about the acts of the man, and not the pressure or expectations a guy would have for a woman. And that some of the outward behavior might be honorable, but the intentions are not.

As someone without a lot of experience, can you explain how a man makes a woman a priority?

EDIT - Or does what you're reading cover that? Maybe I should check that out. lol

 

[Hallmark04]

A priority does not have a big thing. It can be a text in the day to let her know he is thinking of her. It can be a phone call when he says he will. It can be an evening doing nothing but means everything because they two are together.

As someone who has experienced not being a priority, those small things make a world of difference. Also having a man who truly loves the Lord and understands how much the woman wants him to be not only the leader but also the spiritual leader. He is her friend and she his.

Making her a priority is also consistently sharing his heart and making sure she knows how important she is to him....especially when she doubts it.

Of course, the woman should have the heart of priority as well. She should make him feel the man he is as well as the man God him to be.

When both are making the other the priority, when both are chasing after God individually and together, the result is a strong priority filled relationship/marriage.

 

[Hamarr]

Thanks. That was helpful. Those all sound like things I would look forward to doing with the right someone.

 

[Hallmark04]

Thanks. That was helpful. Those all sound like things I would look forward to doing with the right someone.

No doubt she would be very appreciative!

 

[maxwel]

Welcome to Singles!

The quote is interesting, and parts of it uphold some worthwhile values. However, I take issue with "a man who doesn't expect anything until he's given you everything." That's slavery, not relationship between two equals. Women aren't on a pedestal, that they should be worshiped. If, however, the statement is coded language meant to imply that a man shouldn't expect sex until after the wedding, then I'm in full agreement. Basically, I think expectations should generally be based on agreements, and aside from them, neither should expect something of the other that they are unwilling to do themselves. The bar should be high on both sides.

Yes, it's coded language...
these are women talking.



Don't feel bad,
nobody else understands women either.




...

 

[Hallmark04]

Yes, it's coded language...
these are women talking.



Don't feel bad,
nobody else understands women either.




...

This was actually said by a man...

 

[maxwel]

This was actually said by a man...

This is TERRIBLE!!!

They're teaching all the men to talk in crazy woman code!!!!

The end is nigh.

...

 

[Hallmark04]

That is funny!!

 

[Subhumanoidal]

This was just a quote which was simply refreshing to read.

If others out there are also single, we all know the struggles involved in trying to date in this day. As a woman, the expectation has consistently been to be intimate quickly. Of course, I am dumped quickly because I refuse....lol. So this quote was just a nice place to land and breathe for a moment.

Of course relationships take two and both valuing the other if not equal, then more. But the reality of the dating world is that men who value women are few and far between (no doubt the same view is held by men, of women). This quote was by a man who is consistently sharing his love for his wife and placing her solidly as his number one earthly priority. It is beautiful to watch their relationship.

So that quote, in my opinion, is not demeaning to men at all. It is celebrating that there are men who value women above all else (or could value and single woman who is to him, above all else).

I suspect much of the doubt that may stem from men is that within the church there is a Lot of teaching for women on such topics. Much of it, anymore, is to elevate women as almost superior and men need to grovel and prove themselves while the woman sits on her throne and waits for the man to prove his worthiness. We see women in the church with that mentality.

And teachings for males often reflect the same. It's basically 'these high expectations are you put on you and if you can't do them all perfectly you're not good enough for a woman'. Now go get yourself right and find a woman on a pedestal to pine over and hope to show your worth to'.
Or we heard more sexist oriented messages of 'men are the masters of the house'.

Really both men and women should be hearing the majority of the same teachings, with only some minor tweaks fitting to each gender. But that's not the case, and it's quite imbalanced. So when a woman, such as yourself, may post something that can be taken in ways other than intended men will expect, or question, that you're speaking the same 'woman on a pedestal' garbage we always hear.

If i treat a woman, romantically, well it's not going to be because i'm taught that i'm inferior and should be grateful that she stepped down to accept me. It's going to be because she has proven herself to be the kind of woman that deserves to be treated the best i'm able. Not because the nature of her being a woman, but because of the kind of person she shows herself to be.

And, no, i'm not saying all women see themselves so highly, but it is common and it is taught. It's common enough to make men defensive. But there are also women that realize that things are two way and feel they need to work just as hard as men to show themselves as someone respectable and desirable.

 

[Hallmark04]

I suspect much of the doubt that may stem from men is that within the church there is a Lot of teaching for women on such topics. Much of it, anymore, is to elevate women as almost superior and men need to grovel and prove themselves while the woman sits on her throne and waits for the man to prove his worthiness. We see women in the church with that mentality.

And teachings for males often reflect the same. It's basically 'these high expectations are you put on you and if you can't do them all perfectly you're not good enough for a woman'. Now go get yourself right and find a woman on a pedestal to pine over and hope to show your worth to'.
Or we heard more sexist oriented messages of 'men are the masters of the house'.

Really both men and women should be hearing the majority of the same teachings, with only some minor tweaks fitting to each gender. But that's not the case, and it's quite imbalanced. So when a woman, such as yourself, may post something that can be taken in ways other than intended men will expect, or question, that you're speaking the same 'woman on a pedestal' garbage we always hear.

If i treat a woman, romantically, well it's not going to be because i'm taught that i'm inferior and should be grateful that she stepped down to accept me. It's going to be because she has proven herself to be the kind of woman that deserves to be treated the best i'm able. Not because the nature of her being a woman, but because of the kind of person she shows herself to be.

And, no, i'm not saying all women see themselves so highly, but it is common and it is taught. It's common enough to make men defensive. But there are also women that realize that things are two way and feel they need to work just as hard as men to show themselves as someone respectable and desirable.

It is interesting that the original quote came from a man who is in an amazing Christian marriage with a woman who adores him equally.

I suppose it takes two who are equally committed at the same time to make this work.

It has been somewhat surprising at how men tended to be offended on here with this quote. I suppose I had different expectations. I most certainly am not a woman on a pedestal and yet the men seem almost bitter to a point.

It is a very interesting study in expectations and reality to me.