Could use some encouragement from some singles out there...

[Solemateleft]

Wait, we can get paid to cuddle with peeps? Hahaha... My dream job, a long extended hug, lol. Isn't that dangerous, though? I mean lots of ppl would get in trouble that way. It is a joke, no?

While I want to be optimistic, I don't want it to be on the premise of my ideal outcome, u know? What if that is not realistic, won't I be setting myself up for frustration? I love your attitude and suspect with your go get em tude you will not be single long. You as a male will have more options. I, on the other hand, must also accept that guys my age generally want gals 10 to 20 years younger. Is my awareness of this jaded or negative...probably, but is it not also true? Barrrrooooo and whaaaaaa, lol, but it is ok, I just have to be hopeful for whatever He wants for me. I do love your bright and shinning attitude, sincerely, so hopeful.

Lol, I do suspect that mother nature is a mitigating factor... I suspect that the certified professionals are trained to adhere to the rules of engagement...
Interesting, I am of the mind that our chances are not more or less advantageous based upon our sex. I do suspect that our chances are only limited by our choices.
Well I can't speak for other guys my age, but at my age I see more advantages to meeting woman closer to my age than that range. As women my own age I hypothesize are more likely to be at the same transition in life relative to their own children entering adulthood... I suspect woman of this same age are also just as ready to optimize and commence living the last quarter of their lives with their future life partner living it up in as blessed a fashion as our lord allows. Seize the day.
BTW, when most men enter their 40s they begin to realize that they are invisible to women in their 20s.,. So there is also a bit of reality check for the more well balanced men who acknowledge their value and limitations in catching the attention of women who are likely too young for them.
God bless

 

[CharliRenee]

Lol, I do suspect that mother nature is a mitigating factor... I suspect that the certified professionals are trained to adhere to the rules of engagement...
Interesting, I am of the mind that our chances are not more or less advantageous based upon our sex. I do suspect that our chances are only limited by our choices.
Well I can't speak for other guys my age, but at my age I see more advantages to meeting woman closer to my age than that range. As women my own age I hypothesize are more likely to be at the same transition in life relative to their own children entering adulthood... I suspect woman of this same age are also just as ready to optimize and commence living the last quarter of their lives with their future life partner living it up in as blessed a fashion as our lord allows. Seize the day.
BTW, when most men enter their 40s they begin to realize that they are invisible to women in their 20s.,. So there is also a bit of reality check for the more well balanced men who acknowledge their value and limitations in catching the attention of women who are likely too young for them.
God bless

I value the time you took to give me some insight with regards to men folk and it is encouraging to know there are those out there full of hope for such things, that is so inspiring. Thank you. God Bless you. I am thinking God is using you. I know this is a hard time for you, so please continue to be positive and looking up. I will do the same, so thanks for the pick me up attitude. I will put in a prayer for u before counting z's. Thanks again.

 

[Hungry]

I don’t think marriage today is close to what God intended. Instead of two becoming one working and striving toward a single goal, it ends up being more like a three legged race with two different finish lines. Either one has to make all of the sacrifices cancelling their own hopes of victory or both fight and fall until they decide to untie the knot and each go their separate ways.

On Wednesday will be my/our 20th anniversary. Although in order to say yes to another 20 years of marriage I know or at least predict I will be saying no to many dreams.

This stretch of child rearing has been rigorous to say the least. All you can do is your best. We are all just farmers planting seeds. Sure you have an educated guess about what soil and conditions produce the best plants but you can’t control the seed, only hope for fruit.

Because my wife and I stayed married some conditions were better and some were not. Since time just keeps moving there’s no point looking back. There’s a reason the rear view mirror in the car only takes up so much space in the windshield, so not to distract you from the road ahead.

I might be one of the most analytical people I’ve ever known. God and I have some good talks. I think if I had been Tom Hanks in Castaway, I would have been upset that Wilson was too chatty. I guess if that were true I wouldn’t keep coming back to CC for fellowship. Regardless, everything is a matter of perspective. I had to go work away from home for a bit. When I first left, a couple days alone was nice, but after that it got lonely and I missed the chaos. I worked two weeks away then back for one. By six months I was getting miserable. I got so used to being alone, I hated the chaos when I went back home. Completely submerged, you don’t realize how crazy it all is. But jumping in and out was too much of a contrast. I had to give up the job. My point...was there a point? Oh yeah, you desire companionship so strongly right now so you omit the memories of pain and self denial that accompany it. Right now you would settle for less. It’s like when your starving you find even broccoli tastes good.

I think God made sex so rewarding because it might be the only thing that makes relationships tolerable at times. When I started this post I was killing time, hoping to share wisdom, waiting for my wife to come to bed. Now it’s 4am, I successfully rambled to strangers and she passed out on the couch. Welcome to 20 years of marriage!

 

[zeroturbulence]

Yes, just like the old saying goes... the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence.

 

[Hungry]

Yes, just like the old saying goes... the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence.

I like; the grass is always greener where the manure is spread thickest.

 

[Lynx]

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.

My grass is green enough that I have to mow it much more often than I would like, and I haven't paid a cent on water for it. Being single doesn't get a lot of advertising but it's a very comfortable option. Much more peaceful too.

 

[Lynx]

Lynx' Analogies - RELATIONSHIPS AS CAR MODELS:

Marriage is the sports car that gets all the advertising. Everybody wants this car because everybody is told you should want this car. If you don't want this car there is just something wrong with you. If you actually claim to be satisfied with another kind of car and have no interest at all in this car, there is something VERY wrong with you. All the TV commercials push this car, all the songs talk about this car, it even has a metric ton of product placement movies (we call them rom-coms) advertising it. We as a society have built up a really big business out of this one model of car.

If you drive a Single car, well... you just aren't all that successful at life, bless your heart. Single is for people who just can't afford the Marriage car. If somebody claims to be content with a Single car we assume they are really wanting to switch to a Marriage but they know they have no hope of ever affording the cost so we assume they are just making the best of their bad situation and dealing with it as well as they can. If somebody in a Single actually claims to be HAPPY with a Single and not want to switch to a Marriage... well that's just crazy talk!

But every car gets you down the road.

That's the problem. Whatever car you are driving, you are still driving down the road. Too many people ignore the road because they don't consider their trip to really start until they have become successful at getting a Marriage car. But the trip started when we were born, and the amount of road we have to drive will run out before we know it. Whether you're driving a Single or a Marriage you are driving down the road. You can drive a Single and pay attention to the trip or you can ignore it while you daydream about someday switching to a Marriage but you're still driving.

Whatever you're driving, you need to enjoy the trip.

 

[selfdissolving]

I have been single and celibate now for six years. Most of the time, I am so grateful for this season. You see, I have come so close to my Lord. What I mean is He has become the bulk of the desires of my heart. I am not a spring chicken, 53 in fact. So the chances of finding another is pretty slim, especially since my work life is at home and I don't get out much. I am not wanting to do that dating site thing, ugh. Most often, like I said, I am more than content for my table for one. So, I don't feel motivated to change my status. I know single life and married life have with them pluses and minuses, both have ups and downs This is where you come in...

Will you remind me in this moment of longing for something that may never be, will you remind me how awesome being single is. Connect with me, will you? Will you give me some insight to get me through this kinked moment. I know it will pass, and soon I'll again flourish, me and my maker. In the meantime, will you throw this sister some encouragement and maybe a prayer. Oh and to those irritated by the needy, seeking attention, tone of this post, know that I too am getting on my nerves, hahaha.

I will be fine, just being transparent, sharing a weak moment, you have them too, right?

Romans 8:28 King James Version
28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

even being single, even being lonely, even longing for someone

God is working all those things in your life to benefit you and the Church

the same can be said about all doubt, all weariness, all sighing, all encouragement or lack thereof

Be strong and trust in the Lord and rely on him in faith and trust It all works out in the end for the Church

 

[CharliRenee]

I don’t think marriage today is close to what God intended. Instead of two becoming one working and striving toward a single goal, it ends up being more like a three legged race with two different finish lines. Either one has to make all of the sacrifices cancelling their own hopes of victory or both fight and fall until they decide to untie the knot and each go their separate ways.

On Wednesday will be my/our 20th anniversary. Although in order to say yes to another 20 years of marriage I know or at least predict I will be saying no to many dreams.

This stretch of child rearing has been rigorous to say the least. All you can do is your best. We are all just farmers planting seeds. Sure you have an educated guess about what soil and conditions produce the best plants but you can’t control the seed, only hope for fruit.

Because my wife and I stayed married some conditions were better and some were not. Since time just keeps moving there’s no point looking back. There’s a reason the rear view mirror in the car only takes up so much space in the windshield, so not to distract you from the road ahead.

I might be one of the most analytical people I’ve ever known. God and I have some good talks. I think if I had been Tom Hanks in Castaway, I would have been upset that Wilson was too chatty. I guess if that were true I wouldn’t keep coming back to CC for fellowship. Regardless, everything is a matter of perspective. I had to go work away from home for a bit. When I first left, a couple days alone was nice, but after that it got lonely and I missed the chaos. I worked two weeks away then back for one. By six months I was getting miserable. I got so used to being alone, I hated the chaos when I went back home. Completely submerged, you don’t realize how crazy it all is. But jumping in and out was too much of a contrast. I had to give up the job. My point...was there a point? Oh yeah, you desire companionship so strongly right now so you omit the memories of pain and self denial that accompany it. Right now you would settle for less. It’s like when your starving you find even broccoli tastes good.

I think God made sex so rewarding because it might be the only thing that makes relationships tolerable at times. When I started this post I was killing time, hoping to share wisdom, waiting for my wife to come to bed. Now it’s 4am, I successfully rambled to strangers and she passed out on the couch. Welcome to 20 years of marriage!

I really enjoyed your transparency shared. You are very talented writer here, I see many are. I too am an analytical person and like it often. I tell you what, I will be adding a prayer for you and she, your wife of 2 decades. Ups and downs and all around, thanks for reminding me, the lonely not so happy moments are for everyone, from time to time, not just the single. We must find our comfort, I suppose, not in the arms of another, but in our Lord and Savior.

 

[CharliRenee]

Romans 8:28 King James Version
28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

even being single, even being lonely, even longing for someone

God is working all those things in your life to benefit you and the Church

the same can be said about all doubt, all weariness, all sighing, all encouragement or lack thereof

Be strong and trust in the Lord and rely on him in faith and trust It all works out in the end for the Church

Oh thank you, couldn't agree more. Thank you for bringing to my remembrance these truths.

 

[CharliRenee]

Lynx' Analogies - RELATIONSHIPS AS CAR MODELS:

Marriage is the sports car that gets all the advertising. Everybody wants this car because everybody is told you should want this car. If you don't want this car there is just something wrong with you. If you actually claim to be satisfied with another kind of car and have no interest at all in this car, there is something VERY wrong with you. All the TV commercials push this car, all the songs talk about this car, it even has a metric ton of product placement movies (we call them rom-coms) advertising it. We as a society have built up a really big business out of this one model of car.

If you drive a Single car, well... you just aren't all that successful at life, bless your heart. Single is for people who just can't afford the Marriage car. If somebody claims to be content with a Single car we assume they are really wanting to switch to a Marriage but they know they have no hope of ever affording the cost so we assume they are just making the best of their bad situation and dealing with it as well as they can. If somebody in a Single actually claims to be HAPPY with a Single and not want to switch to a Marriage... well that's just crazy talk!

But every car gets you down the road.

That's the problem. Whatever car you are driving, you are still driving down the road. Too many people ignore the road because they don't consider their trip to really start until they have become successful at getting a Marriage car. But the trip started when we were born, and the amount of road we have to drive will run out before we know it. Whether you're driving a Single or a Marriage you are driving down the road. You can drive a Single and pay attention to the trip or you can ignore it while you daydream about someday switching to a Marriage but you're still driving.

Whatever you're driving, you need to enjoy the trip.

Oh how you blessed me with the best single car ever. I am putting down the top today on my single car made for one; the temp is just right and the breeze blowing on my face will heighten this fresh invigorated feeling. I am back where I need to be, driving my single car, with Jesus Driving me. Thank you, Lynx. Well done, very well done.

 

[CharliRenee]

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.

My grass is green enough that I have to mow it much more often than I would like, and I haven't paid a cent on water for it. Being single doesn't get a lot of advertising but it's a very comfortable option. Much more peaceful too.

Yes, and often I too really like it. Either way, with the right winning attitude, free and easy, down that road I go.

 

[VincentG]

I like; the grass is always greener where the manure is spread thickest.

but it's also said to much manure and the grass gets burned!

 

[Solemateleft]

A very thoughtful, caring and compassionate CC friend shared this song with me at a time when I needed to hear it most...
Just listened to it again - so powerful... Hope this gives you and others the same peace of mind and strength in our lord's plan as it gives me every time I need to be re-charged with his holy majestic inspiration...
God Bless...

 

[1christian1]

Oh well
You have more options to find a mate in time, because you are a man person. Gals want them older, men want them younger, bless my heart. I commend your choice not to play trial and error with your daughter, to stay focused on her. That is commendable.

 

[1christian1]

I think it depends on the person, the age, the circumstances, hard to say. If you are young, want a family, then yes you need another. Yes, companionship is always wonderful but for those of us who are older and don't have another, we have to pull up our britches and get on with it. Right?

I think not CharliRenee. I think that you are not trying. I was thinking this until I read your post. the first post I mean. Is'nt this cool. That on this site, you and I got to know one another not because of our looks or our age, but what we have to offer...

 

[maxwel]

Whenever I feel lonely, I always think,
"Well, at least I'm not a zombie."

 

[maxwel]

Zombies never find love.

 

[1christian1]

I have been single and celibate now for six years. Most of the time, I am so grateful for this season. You see, I have come so close to my Lord. What I mean is He has become the bulk of the desires of my heart. I am not a spring chicken, 53 in fact. So the chances of finding another is pretty slim, especially since my work life is at home and I don't get out much. I am not wanting to do that dating site thing, ugh. Most often, like I said, I am more than content for my table for one. So, I don't feel motivated to change my status. I know single life and married life have with them pluses and minuses, both have ups and downs This is where you come in...

Will you remind me in this moment of longing for something that may never be, will you remind me how awesome being single is. Connect with me, will you? Will you give me some insight to get me through this kinked moment. I know it will pass, and soon I'll again flourish, me and my maker. In the meantime, will you throw this sister some encouragement and maybe a prayer. Oh and to those irritated by the needy, seeking attention, tone of this post, know that I too am getting on my nerves, hahaha.

I will be fine, just being transparent, sharing a weak moment, you have them too, right?

 

[CharliRenee]

I think not CharliRenee. I think that you are not trying. I was thinking this until I read your post. the first post I mean. Is'nt this cool. That on this site, you and I got to know one another not because of our looks or our age, but what we have to offer...

Soooo well said, so spot on... thank you. Nice to know you.