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After having been part of the Singles Forum for some time now...
Whenever I see new members arriving here that writing about how lonely and depressed they are about being single, I always think of the music video for a song called "Mama's Fallen Angel", by Poison (an old 90's "hair" band.)
In the video, a beautiful young girl steps off a bus in Hollywood with star-filled eyes, thinking all of her happiness lies in becoming discovered in Hollywood and turning into a big star.
When she actually learns how tough the process really is, how much she is set up to suffer in the process, and that no matter how hard she tries, her dreams wind up going nowhere until finally, she leaves the city, presumably to start a new life, on the back of a motorcycle (with the lead singer of the band, of course.)
And as they happily zoom off into the sunset...
A bus pulls up, and another beautiful star-struck young girl steps off the bus with the same dreamy look in her eyes that the first girl had. No amount of reasoning--only hard life experience--will convince these girls otherwise.
And that's what I see in so many people who come here, thinking that all of life's answers would be met IF ONLY they found that one right person, just like that girl thought all her dreams would be met if only she became a movie star.
I understand the illusion completely, seeing as I was there for a very long time myself.
However, I still can't help but keep on wishing that, more than anything else, there was something that could be done to gently get them to see that a spouse isn't the ultimate answer, and in the process, hopefully, alleviate, and or better yet prevent, so very much of their suffering.
Whenever I see new members arriving here that writing about how lonely and depressed they are about being single, I always think of the music video for a song called "Mama's Fallen Angel", by Poison (an old 90's "hair" band.)
In the video, a beautiful young girl steps off a bus in Hollywood with star-filled eyes, thinking all of her happiness lies in becoming discovered in Hollywood and turning into a big star.
When she actually learns how tough the process really is, how much she is set up to suffer in the process, and that no matter how hard she tries, her dreams wind up going nowhere until finally, she leaves the city, presumably to start a new life, on the back of a motorcycle (with the lead singer of the band, of course.)
And as they happily zoom off into the sunset...
A bus pulls up, and another beautiful star-struck young girl steps off the bus with the same dreamy look in her eyes that the first girl had. No amount of reasoning--only hard life experience--will convince these girls otherwise.
And that's what I see in so many people who come here, thinking that all of life's answers would be met IF ONLY they found that one right person, just like that girl thought all her dreams would be met if only she became a movie star.
I understand the illusion completely, seeing as I was there for a very long time myself.
However, I still can't help but keep on wishing that, more than anything else, there was something that could be done to gently get them to see that a spouse isn't the ultimate answer, and in the process, hopefully, alleviate, and or better yet prevent, so very much of their suffering.
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Life is like a roguelike video game.
A roguelike is a video game that is randomly generated each time you start a new game. Every map, every shop inventory, the whole game world is composed from random elements for each new start. You never know what you will find as you set out to explore. Maybe that armor dealer won't have the armor you really liked last time. Maybe you will find a great weapon you never tried before (and probably won't be able to find next time.) Maybe an enemy base just happened to be right next to the local pub and they both attacked and killed each other before you even got there. Hey, it happens in a roguelike.
The thing is, you use what you find in a given game to meet the game objective. If you can't find that armor you really liked last time, you use the best you can find and go on. If the map you are on doesn't have an item shop that stocks healing potions you either backtrack to the last map that did have such or press on to the next map and hope there will be a healing potion vendor there. You use what you find and make the best of it.
But the game's end goal can always be reached.
No matter what you find, no matter what you wish you had in this playthrough that you can't find in any shop, the game can always be completed. Sure you might have to use a weapon that doesn't really fit your play style, you might have to do without some things you can't find, you might have to improvise and compromise a bit, but you can complete the game anyway.
Life is a lot like a roguelike - one that you cannot restart if you don't like the current game. In this game there are some things that people think they have to have in order to enjoy the game. Marriage of course, we have to find a spouse to have a happy life. Home ownership would be nice, living the American Dream. We really need some good friends along the way. And hey, anybody can use a lot more money, so we really need to find a good job that pays a lot.
The problem is, none of these elements are guaranteed. The reason this is a problem is because so many people forget the real goal of this game and get hung up on the game elements we think we have to have. We make "I have to find this element of the game" into the game objective and we lose sight of the real end goal. Some of us even put the whole game on hold, ignoring more than half the game content, in a desperate search for that one missing element that we think we need.
But the game can still be completed and won, even if we don't find those game elements we think we are missing. We just need to remember what the real goal of this game is.
A roguelike is a video game that is randomly generated each time you start a new game. Every map, every shop inventory, the whole game world is composed from random elements for each new start. You never know what you will find as you set out to explore. Maybe that armor dealer won't have the armor you really liked last time. Maybe you will find a great weapon you never tried before (and probably won't be able to find next time.) Maybe an enemy base just happened to be right next to the local pub and they both attacked and killed each other before you even got there. Hey, it happens in a roguelike.
The thing is, you use what you find in a given game to meet the game objective. If you can't find that armor you really liked last time, you use the best you can find and go on. If the map you are on doesn't have an item shop that stocks healing potions you either backtrack to the last map that did have such or press on to the next map and hope there will be a healing potion vendor there. You use what you find and make the best of it.
But the game's end goal can always be reached.
No matter what you find, no matter what you wish you had in this playthrough that you can't find in any shop, the game can always be completed. Sure you might have to use a weapon that doesn't really fit your play style, you might have to do without some things you can't find, you might have to improvise and compromise a bit, but you can complete the game anyway.
Life is a lot like a roguelike - one that you cannot restart if you don't like the current game. In this game there are some things that people think they have to have in order to enjoy the game. Marriage of course, we have to find a spouse to have a happy life. Home ownership would be nice, living the American Dream. We really need some good friends along the way. And hey, anybody can use a lot more money, so we really need to find a good job that pays a lot.
The problem is, none of these elements are guaranteed. The reason this is a problem is because so many people forget the real goal of this game and get hung up on the game elements we think we have to have. We make "I have to find this element of the game" into the game objective and we lose sight of the real end goal. Some of us even put the whole game on hold, ignoring more than half the game content, in a desperate search for that one missing element that we think we need.
But the game can still be completed and won, even if we don't find those game elements we think we are missing. We just need to remember what the real goal of this game is.
I think people need to set a foundation..Have a relationship with the Lord..trust him..obey Him .. and he will give you understanding..ask for it (Proverbs 8..read it) Trust the Lord with all your heart and He will direct your path...don't lean on your own understanding...If you put him first..he will give you what you need according to His will...he has the blueprints to your life ..a plan..if you would surrender to him let Him work you will find peace and things will kick in as needed..if you try and make things happen your gonna find yourself out of His will, and that's not a place you want to be. 
Well my internet promo rate is about to expire so I get to call comcast next week and see if I can talk them into letting me keep it or if I'm going to have to find cheaper internet service. Because with the normal rate for internet I could take 1 year's internet charges and buy a laptop and then go hang out at the library or somewhere there is free wifi whenever I need internet for the next several years and save big time (theoretically, but I'm such a homebody I really like having internet at home).
Still if this is the biggest problem I currently have in life; I've got a pretty good life.
Still if this is the biggest problem I currently have in life; I've got a pretty good life.
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Ever think about a data package on your phone? I have been using my phone's hotspot as my home internet for years now and I ain't never going back to a landline.
Caveat: For gamers and sysadmins and people who really need a large amount of data at very high speed all day every day, landlines are still better. But for people who are catching up on the forum or facebook, watching youtube, checking email... there really is no reason to keep a connection that is tied down to one spot these days. Plus a landline internet connection costs more than just adding a data line to your phone service.
Caveat: For gamers and sysadmins and people who really need a large amount of data at very high speed all day every day, landlines are still better. But for people who are catching up on the forum or facebook, watching youtube, checking email... there really is no reason to keep a connection that is tied down to one spot these days. Plus a landline internet connection costs more than just adding a data line to your phone service.
For now my internet doubles as my TV / cable service as well and my usage has been enough that it wouldn't be economical to have it all run through the phone. Granted if I were inclined to be clever enough and apply it I could probably reduce that a lot just by reducing video quality. And of course I could always just not watch so much TV / movies.
I think I'm on the lowest tier, and while I have a cap, even my heaviest use months I've only used about 10% of the allowed use. But if I could talk them into cutting my rate and data allowance down to 10% of what it currently is (never going to happen) ; I'd take that deal in a heartbeat.
I think I'm on the lowest tier, and while I have a cap, even my heaviest use months I've only used about 10% of the allowed use. But if I could talk them into cutting my rate and data allowance down to 10% of what it currently is (never going to happen) ; I'd take that deal in a heartbeat.
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Most work places have a bereavement policy... I think that at my place of work, they give you 3 days off when a close relative dies.
But to me, this is absolutely ludicrous.
Why would I want the time off AFTER the person has already passed away?
A person needs the time off WHILE that person is still living--THAT'S when they really need you, not after they're already gone. They tell me that this person probably won't even know who I am anymore even if I could get there, but that's not what matters--what matters is that someone you love needs you, and you make the choice to be there for them in whatever way you can.
Grumble... stumble... fall.
*Tucks her feelings down deep inside so no one can see or touch them, because... ain't nobody got time for that, because it's time to go back to work.*
Sigh.
#LifeIsSoDiscouraging.
But to me, this is absolutely ludicrous.
Why would I want the time off AFTER the person has already passed away?
A person needs the time off WHILE that person is still living--THAT'S when they really need you, not after they're already gone. They tell me that this person probably won't even know who I am anymore even if I could get there, but that's not what matters--what matters is that someone you love needs you, and you make the choice to be there for them in whatever way you can.
Grumble... stumble... fall.
*Tucks her feelings down deep inside so no one can see or touch them, because... ain't nobody got time for that, because it's time to go back to work.*
Sigh.
#LifeIsSoDiscouraging.
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I completely agree with your perspective and agree that days off to go to the funeral is a pretty unfulfilling policy. But I can also only imagine how much more often family members would be close to death if you got so many days off to go see them every time they were about to die. Maybe they could institute a sort of swap system where you have to use your vacation to see them now, but if that family member dies they add in the bereavement leave as vacation days.
Anyway, there goes my attempt to be sympathetic. How about just an e-hug and I'll be quiet?
Anyway, there goes my attempt to be sympathetic. How about just an e-hug and I'll be quiet?
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Well this should be interesting:
The plan was to boil the life out of a can of sweetened condensed milk (to be henceforth known as sua dac because that's so much easier to type) and make cheater dulce de leche to add into cheesecake topping for brownies for the bakeoff at work in a couple weeks.
I bought the can that was pretty simple, but being a frugal single when I got home I realized I didn't have a pot deep enough to cover the can with water and boil it.
Scratched my head to see what was available and if I could achieve my goal with my current means. Being me, I came up with a new plan: place can in 2 quart pyrex measuring cup, boil water in electric kettle, pour boiling water over can in measuring cup and place in oven to keep it at boiling temperatures for the required duration of time.
Now I'm just kind of hoping nothing explodes and leaves me with a messy oven to clean up late at night.
The plan was to boil the life out of a can of sweetened condensed milk (to be henceforth known as sua dac because that's so much easier to type) and make cheater dulce de leche to add into cheesecake topping for brownies for the bakeoff at work in a couple weeks.
I bought the can that was pretty simple, but being a frugal single when I got home I realized I didn't have a pot deep enough to cover the can with water and boil it.
Scratched my head to see what was available and if I could achieve my goal with my current means. Being me, I came up with a new plan: place can in 2 quart pyrex measuring cup, boil water in electric kettle, pour boiling water over can in measuring cup and place in oven to keep it at boiling temperatures for the required duration of time.
Now I'm just kind of hoping nothing explodes and leaves me with a messy oven to clean up late at night.
It won't blow up. I know somebody who works at a local restaurant that has caramel pie on the menu and that is exactly how they make their caramel.
It won't taste quite as good as the real thing but it is passable enough for a restaurant to use in the pies and almost all the diners don't notice. And they boil lots of cans all at once in a really big soup pot. Nothing ever goes pop. When you open the can it won't exactly pour out, but it won't be quite a solid either.
It won't taste quite as good as the real thing but it is passable enough for a restaurant to use in the pies and almost all the diners don't notice. And they boil lots of cans all at once in a really big soup pot. Nothing ever goes pop. When you open the can it won't exactly pour out, but it won't be quite a solid either.
The grocery store I frequent has those coupon printing machines in the self checkout lanes. Last couple times I've bought something, the person or people before me have left coupons in them for just straight up money off your next order (no limits or qualifications at all). I'm certainly not complaining about practically getting free money, but I find myself perplexed by people who are basically just leaving money sit there. In the words of C-3PO "Sometimes I just don't understand human behavior"