This is a goodie...
Having been raised by an amazing woman who raised 4 boys and 2 girls all by herself (father passed young) - there was absolutely A LOT of LEARNING that was done... Was raised to treat girls and women with respect...
Even though I liked to believe that I was one of the good ones - going into my marriage - little did I realize how so much more I had to learn about communication in the process.... ie 'Men are from Mars - Women are from Venus'...
Over the course of our 27 years of marriage (currently separated 1.5 years - doesn't look like she's coming back) we participated in counseling, faith-based marriage retreats, numerous self-help programs ie 'Five Agreements', '5 Love Languages' etc...
Surprisingly, I learned something new and useful every time...
In hind-sight, at the end of the day the most important lesson of all that I learned was:
"That it is more important to be married, than it is to be right." (ref: Mort Fortel's 'Marriage Bootcamp') While applicable for men, and women - suspect this may not resonate with many men (even the good ones) until it is too late...
A few key things that most men need to learn (even the good ones) that women want us to know:
- Listen slowly - they're not carburetors - don't try to fix'm...
- Make her feel special...
- let her influence you...