It is important that both of you have common beliefs and principles. The apostle Paul wrote: âDo not become unevenly yoked with unbelievers.â (2 Corinthians 6:14; 1 Corinthians 7:39) Marriage to someone who does not share your faith in God makes it more likely that there will be severe disharmony. On the other hand, a mutual devotion to God is the strongest basis for unity. God wants you to be happy and to enjoy the closest possible bond with the person you marry. He wants you to be bound to Him and to each other by a threefold bond of love.âEcclesiastes 4:12.
While worshiping God together is the most important aspect of unity, more is involved. To be attuned to each other, you and your prospective mate should have similar goals. What are your goals? For example, how do you both feel about having children? What things have the first place in your life? (Matthew 6:33) In a truly successful marriage, the couple are good friends and enjoy each otherâs company. (Proverbs 17:17) For this, they need to have interests in common. It is difficult to sustain a close friendshipâmuch less a marriageâwhen this is not the case. Still, if your prospective partner enjoys a particular activity, such as hiking, and you do not, does that mean that the two of you should not get married? Not necessarily. Perhaps you share other, more important interests. Moreover, you might give happiness to your prospective partner by sharing in wholesome activities because the other person enjoys them.âActs 20:35.
Indeed, to a large degree, compatibility is determined by how adaptable both of you are rather than by how identical you are. Instead of asking, âDo we agree on everything?â some better questions might be: âWhat happens when we disagree? Can we discuss matters calmly, according each other respect and dignity? Or do discussions often deteriorate into heated arguments?â (Ephesians 4:29, 31) If you want to get married, be wary of anyone who is proud and opinionated, never willing to compromise, or who constantly demands and schemes to have his or her own way.
Best wishes for a successful courtship!