I have been a Christian for a long time and have experienced God in my life. I have seen him move and speak to me in different ways. But yet I don't always feel satisfied with God or my relationship with Him. My faith and Christian life almost feels like a routine - I sin, I feel bad about it and repent, I feel grateful for Jesus and God's sacrifice, I worship Him, and repeat. Although recognizing God's love and sacrifice for me through Jesus feels great, I still am tired of the "process". I do love God with all my heart and when I worship I mean it, but I still don't feel 100% satisfied in Him. I guess I look for fulfillment in the world sometimes, but I actually find it there - in hanging out with my friends, traveling/exploring, completing goals, having a good time, etc. These are not necessarily bad things, but they give me more happiness/satisfaction than reading the Bible or watching a sermon online does.
What can I do in my life where I can experience joy and fulfillment in the Lord? How do I rely on Him instead of the world to satisfy me? and how do I get rid of the "routine" in my faith? Any answer will be appreciated
Here are some verses that make me think about the importance, purpose and realities of life and the Most High.
Psalms 144:3-4, “יהוה, what is man, that You should know him? Son of man, that You should think of him?"4 Man is like a breath, His days like a passing shadow.”
Psalms 90:10-14,, “The days of our lives are seventy years; Or if due to strength, eighty years, Yet the best of them is but toil and exertion; For it is soon cut off, and we fly away. Who knows the power of Your displeasure? And your wrath, according to the fear of You? Teach us to number our days, And let us bring the heart to wisdom. Return, O יהוה! How long? And be sorry for Your servants. Satisfy us in the morning with Your loving-commitment, And let us sing for joy all our days!”
Psalm 16:11, “You show me the path of life; In Your presence is joy to satisfaction; At Your right hand are pleasures forever.”
I sent you a PM, and reading some of the things you said I think you will apprecite this passage, it has helped me and given me strength...
Hebrews 12:3-17, “For consider Him who endured such opposition from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and faint in your lives."4, You have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin."5, And you have forgotten the appeal which speaks to you as to sons, “My son, do not despise the discipline of יהוה, nor faint when you are reproved by Him,"6, for whom יהוה loves, He disciplines, and flogs every son whom He receives.” (Pro 3:11-12) "7, If you endure discipline, Yah is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom a father does not discipline?"8, But if you are without discipline, of which all have become sharers, then you are illegitimate and not sons."9, Moreover, we indeed had fathers of our flesh disciplining us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live?"10, For they indeed disciplined us for a few days as seemed best to them, but He does it for our profit, so that we might share His apartness."11, And indeed, no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but grievous, but afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."12, So, strengthen the hands which hang down and the weak knees, Isa 35:3."13, and make straight paths for your feet, lest the lame be turned aside, but instead, to be healed."14, Pursue peace with all, and pursue apartness without which no one shall see the Master."15, See to it that no one falls short of the favor of Yah, that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, by which many become defiled,"16, lest there be anyone who whores, or profane one, like Ěsaw, who for a single meal sold his birthright. 17, For you know that afterward, when he wished to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no place for repentance, though he sought it with tears.”
He doesn't want us to be satisfied he wants us to crave more to make it more than what it is now because if we are sated with our current level with him then eventually it feels like a routine and we seek our satisfaction in other things. Now granted even I take a break and spend a few days watching t.v. and playing video games he never said we couldn't do the things we enjoy but where you seem to be at is a place where it's just no longer doing it for you and if I had make a guess I assume it's because God is calling you to enter a deeper realm with him.