Hey Everyone,
Many of us here have been single for a long time, and have learned a lot about coping with singlenss along the way. For those of you who have had a bit of experience with being single, what do you find yourself wanting to tell younger singles that you meet?
I know that "younger" is a very relative term--to a 25-year-old, someone who is 18 is a younger single. To someone who is 50, you might be giving advice to someone in their 40's. I also know several older single people in their 70's and beyond who could call just about any of us "younger singles."
I have to be honest--when I see people 30 and under posting about how they are single and hate it, I usually don't make a reply--not because I don't care, but because I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing.
One of the things I told God as I was trying to find my way through several years of singleness was, "Please don't get me through all of this just to turn around and tell other single people all the same baloney that other people have told me for all these years."
What I mean is... Most especially when you're "young", people always seem to tell you that God is preparing the perfect person for you, or that God has the perfect person for you, or that God is going bring the perfect person to you when the time is right.
Now, that very well may be true. But it also may very well be just a happy Christian cookie cutter answer that has absolutely no grounds in reality, and I was given plenty of those in my 20's that I clung to for many years, only to find their words fruitless and empty. I don't want to leave other singles with the same bitterness I still have over hollow words.
As I've gotten older, I find myself in this place of wanting to hug other young singles and try to tell them something hopeful, but I know that at the same time, I am probably a young single person's worst nightmare--a woman who is still very single, and headed into middle age with no immediate hope of changing her single status.
Instead, I ask them about who they are, what they feel called to, and what their interests are. My goal is to try to shift their focus onto ways they can bring about more positive interactions along the way, whether or not they meet someone.
However, I realize there is always room for improvement, and so I'd really like to hear thoughts from other singles.
What do you find yourself saying, or wanting to say, to younger singles or those who have less experience with being single?
Many of us here have been single for a long time, and have learned a lot about coping with singlenss along the way. For those of you who have had a bit of experience with being single, what do you find yourself wanting to tell younger singles that you meet?
I know that "younger" is a very relative term--to a 25-year-old, someone who is 18 is a younger single. To someone who is 50, you might be giving advice to someone in their 40's. I also know several older single people in their 70's and beyond who could call just about any of us "younger singles."
I have to be honest--when I see people 30 and under posting about how they are single and hate it, I usually don't make a reply--not because I don't care, but because I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing.
One of the things I told God as I was trying to find my way through several years of singleness was, "Please don't get me through all of this just to turn around and tell other single people all the same baloney that other people have told me for all these years."
What I mean is... Most especially when you're "young", people always seem to tell you that God is preparing the perfect person for you, or that God has the perfect person for you, or that God is going bring the perfect person to you when the time is right.
Now, that very well may be true. But it also may very well be just a happy Christian cookie cutter answer that has absolutely no grounds in reality, and I was given plenty of those in my 20's that I clung to for many years, only to find their words fruitless and empty. I don't want to leave other singles with the same bitterness I still have over hollow words.
As I've gotten older, I find myself in this place of wanting to hug other young singles and try to tell them something hopeful, but I know that at the same time, I am probably a young single person's worst nightmare--a woman who is still very single, and headed into middle age with no immediate hope of changing her single status.
Instead, I ask them about who they are, what they feel called to, and what their interests are. My goal is to try to shift their focus onto ways they can bring about more positive interactions along the way, whether or not they meet someone.
However, I realize there is always room for improvement, and so I'd really like to hear thoughts from other singles.
What do you find yourself saying, or wanting to say, to younger singles or those who have less experience with being single?
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