I think my father may have schizophrenia, how can I manage?

[joefizz]

Fizz, you have my heartfelt sympathies.

I'm not a mental health professional but I think this has something to do with the narcissism connected with a type of autism.
Very, very difficult to deal with. Don't hang around if you don't have to. And it sounds like you don't have to.

If you do have to hang around and endure it (either in this relationship, or a future one) just take it on the chin and trust God with your well being. You won't be able to do anything with them. Trying to do something with them only makes it worse, which you seem to now know. Just staying out of their way and not provoking an attack seems to be the only course to take.

Yeah I think I've finished the time that I was supposed have with my father's side of the family and living with relatives in general through out all this I have "learned" what to "say" and "do" particularly around mentally disturbed people most recently but also things like that "having a job" is important, disability isn't "all that great"(requires a ton of doctor visits and medication) I have learned "how to care for others" despite my being an introvert, and most important I have learned that "I need Jesus" and that now that he's in my life "changes" are in order and I think that "first step" toward "further change" is "moving on my own"and trusting God/Jesus to lead the way and trust that he is my "source", and be a "doer" instead of a "sayer"(I have had to put this is off for just about 4 years yet it feels like longer and my spirit keeps dwindling and my mind provoked to temptation and confounded by a bit of anger and resentment and I want to "keep my promises" to God/Jesus though I realize that making promises to God/Jesus isn't very wise biblically unless you are "certain" that you will "keep it".

 

[Ralph-]

2.He always emotionally hurts someone around him while helping others not around him
3.He is irresponsible, jocular(jokes hurtfully and even with nasty talk)
4.When confronted whether talked to or yelled at he either acts like a hurt child or asks if someone wants to fight then when he sees he can't be as tough as he thinks he denies everything he does and apologizes or he deflects entirely

...needs "serious help" yet I don't know how to "get through to him" because he is just so determined and "sure" of himself that nothing I or anyone has done has gotten him to acknowledge "sincerely" anything he does wrong as if he "can't see" what he does or "remember" what he does.

...with a as I call it "dumb goofy grin" like he "knows what he's doing but is going to do it anyways"

Anyways I'd like some perspective particularly if possible from anyone dealing with someone with "bizare behaviour" like I described and "what can be done" is it hopeless to try to "get through to him"?

All of these make these kinds of people very difficult, even impossible to get along with. I work with someone who has this emotional/mental disability.

 

[joefizz]

All of these make these kinds of people very difficult, even impossible to get along with. I work with someone who has this emotional/mental disability.

Yeah it's frustrating too because while I feel I have "forgiven" him for his actions and would like for him to "change around" it looks like he doesn't want to and it's like talking to a brick wall unless I wanna talk about something "nonsense" like or "talking about someone else" because he'll chime right in when someone's being talked about liking to tear them down by talking about them behind their back as he frequently likes to do whether the household is talking about someone or not(we have family that constantly irritates us or particularly they bring their woes to us like that we just have to listen then if we give advice they don't take it so we vent a bit)

 

[oldethennew]

unfortunately, these 'new-age' remedies for what is clearly shown to us in the scriptures as
being 'demonic' have become the 'new-age' norm and personal insights for excusing
down right horrific behaviour -

don't be deceived, stand-up, and don't be afraid to call a spade a spade...

 

[Ralph-]

Yeah it's frustrating too because while I feel I have "forgiven" him for his actions and would like for him to "change around" it looks like he doesn't want to and it's like talking to a brick wall...

Yep. Know what you mean. Not even reaching out in love to them does anything. That's probably the biggest thing that distressed me about this because we're told in the church that the love of God changes people. Well, not everyone. That was a hard pill to swallow.

 

[Ralph-]

unfortunately, these 'new-age' remedies for what is clearly shown to us in the scriptures as
being 'demonic' have become the 'new-age' norm and personal insights for excusing
down right horrific behaviour -

don't be deceived, stand-up, and don't be afraid to call a spade a spade...

I tend to kind of agree with this. Jesus rebuked evil spirits out of epilepsy patients. That shows what can be the source of that particular brain condition. Nowadays we assign it to a brain malfunction and treat it with pills. Did the source of epilepsy change between then and now?

 

[Angela53510]

None of the symptoms you mention in your OP have anything to do with schizophrenia. Plus, schizophrenia develops in the late teens or early 20’s. If he hasn’t been diagnosed in 40 years, he isn’t schizophrenic or bipolar, either!

But it that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have something wrong! He could have a personality disorder. But if this behaviour is a newer development, I would say dementia is more likely. 60 isn’t even “early” to develop dementia. 30 -40 is considered early onset dementia.

My MIL has Alzheimer’s. We were visiting her, and there was this young woman who we thought was a nurse at first. But after we realized she could not talk or communicate, my SIL found out this woman was diagnosed with dementia before 40. She had been a competitive cyclist, worked in business, then things started to fall apart. The next time we came to visit my MIL, this young woman was already dead.

You have 2 choices. Get a family doctor involved, or just walk away from him. I would pray about it, and talk with his family, if they are interested. And don’t expect any thanks, if you do try and help him - from anyone!

 

[Laish]

Hi Joe
I am sorry that you and your family are going through this trying time.
You and your family are in my prayers bro . That includes your father.
First I suggest you pray . Your fathers problems may be both physical and spiritual. I also know that it’s takes some considerable training to make a psychological diagnosis. So I suggest don’t go there.
If you want to know why you father behaves the way he dose , and try to get him help .Ask family members if he has seen a doctor. I know you probably have done this but it shouldn’t hurt to try again. Still this may be painful for all involved. You may also look in to if your father has a criminal record . If so he may have been evaluated by law enforcement for his disturbing behavior.
That may also provide a way of getting him help .Sad thing is that in The United States folks have the right to not get mental help if they don’t want it . Only a run in with the law might force him to be seen by professionals like it or not .
Please be careful Joe . I have had experience with some folks that acted similar to what you described, when I worked for the sheriffs office.
Continuing to pray .
Blessings
Bill

 

[joefizz]

Hi Joe
I am sorry that you and your family are going through this trying time.
You and your family are in my prayers bro . That includes your father.
First I suggest you pray . Your fathers problems may be both physical and spiritual. I also know that it’s takes some considerable training to make a psychological diagnosis. So I suggest don’t go there.
If you want to know why you father behaves the way he dose , and try to get him help .Ask family members if he has seen a doctor. I know you probably have done this but it shouldn’t hurt to try again. Still this may be painful for all involved. You may also look in to if your father has a criminal record . If so he may have been evaluated by law enforcement for his disturbing behavior.
That may also provide a way of getting him help .Sad thing is that in The United States folks have the right to not get mental help if they don’t want it . Only a run in with the law might force him to be seen by professionals like it or not .
Please be careful Joe . I have had experience with some folks that acted similar to what you described, when I worked for the sheriffs office.
Continuing to pray .
Blessings
Bill

Well now I'm too excited about getting my apartment to let anyone get me down!
A new apartment means more fun organization, a place to rest for once(at the place I live currently I don't sleep much) getting to choose what kinds of stuff I want like,food, games/game systems(first games on my list are game boy for pokemon and ps3 for interactive online games or get samurai heroes again!) also I will be walking to places or riding buses and people like to talk so I can spread God's word on the way to places!
I can find a church to go to that might consider my skills as a preacher/teacher or singer/song writer!
I can try out ideas that I have had stored in my mind for years like being a romantic artist(drawing and writing a love story) continue writing my memory teachings composition, partner with youtube assuming that I get enough subscribers for extra money for my self and also churches particularly(so as to have more of a 10% or even more for God!)
Use all my talents in some way is definitely what I hope to do!

 

[OstrichSmiling]

I for many years have had split ways with my father because of a few things....
1.He has told people I'm not his son for years
2.He always emotionally hurts someone around him while helping others not around him
3.He is irresponsible, jocular(jokes hurtfully and even with nasty talk)
4.When confronted whether talked to or yelled at he either acts like a hurt child or asks if someone wants to fight then when he sees he can't be as tough as he thinks he denies everything he does and apologizes or he deflects entirely
But now I'm thinking perhaps he needs "serious help" yet I don't know how to "get through to him" because he is just so determined and "sure" of himself that nothing I or anyone has done has gotten him to acknowledge "sincerely" anything he does wrong as if he "can't see" what he does or "remember" what he does.
For instance just recently out of nowhere he waxed my aunt's car that I live with as well as he and my uncle, he didn't "ask" to do it, he didn't "mention" that he was going to do it then my aunt noticed while he was in the shower what he did and shouted a lot about what he did until he finally would come out of his room mad about something different that my aunt was talking about and making the excuse "that he thought he was doing something good".
This has not been "limited" to one or two or even three incidents he has cut and messed up furniture "without telling anyone" and I even once or twice "caught him in the act" like he sprayed something on my uncle's black recliner to where it got orange blotches and then later after my aunt mentioned it I caught him using a "black marker" trying to "fix" what he did wrong and when I asked him "what are you doing" he just responded "working" and a second time he was in one of the bathrooms "scraping" the sink with the back of a "hammer" and when I asked "why he was doing that" he said "I'm cleaning it up" or something like that with a as I call it "dumb goofy grin" like he "knows what he's doing but is going to do it anyways"(put the hammer in my room so he wouldn't totally tear up the sink)
Anyways I'd like some perspective particularly if possible from anyone dealing with someone with "bizare behaviour" like I described and "what can be done" is it hopeless to try to "get through to him"?(not sure how long he's had this though my Aunt says he's been like this since she can remember)Is it better to maybe see about a case manager or something like that to help him find a medication/therapist to get him out of this?

Holding you and your dad in prayer.
This may help you. https://www.nami.org/learn-more/mental-health-conditions/schizophrenia

 

[Hollie777]

Hello

 

[joefizz]

Hello

Welcome here you can discuss with bible smart people and possibly make new friends,hope you like it here!(best to introduce yourself in the new members forum though)

 

[Janna38]

Welcome here you can discuss with bible smart people and possibly make new friends,hope you like it here!(best to introduce yourself in the new members forum though)

Nice sig. joefizz

 

[joefizz]

Nice sig. joefizz

Thank you I try to be "original".

 

[pjharrison]

I for many years have had split ways with my father because of a few things....
1.He has told people I'm not his son for years
2.He always emotionally hurts someone around him while helping others not around him
3.He is irresponsible, jocular(jokes hurtfully and even with nasty talk)
4.When confronted whether talked to or yelled at he either acts like a hurt child or asks if someone wants to fight then when he sees he can't be as tough as he thinks he denies everything he does and apologizes or he deflects entirely
But now I'm thinking perhaps he needs "serious help" yet I don't know how to "get through to him" because he is just so determined and "sure" of himself that nothing I or anyone has done has gotten him to acknowledge "sincerely" anything he does wrong as if he "can't see" what he does or "remember" what he does.
For instance just recently out of nowhere he waxed my aunt's car that I live with as well as he and my uncle, he didn't "ask" to do it, he didn't "mention" that he was going to do it then my aunt noticed while he was in the shower what he did and shouted a lot about what he did until he finally would come out of his room mad about something different that my aunt was talking about and making the excuse "that he thought he was doing something good".
This has not been "limited" to one or two or even three incidents he has cut and messed up furniture "without telling anyone" and I even once or twice "caught him in the act" like he sprayed something on my uncle's black recliner to where it got orange blotches and then later after my aunt mentioned it I caught him using a "black marker" trying to "fix" what he did wrong and when I asked him "what are you doing" he just responded "working" and a second time he was in one of the bathrooms "scraping" the sink with the back of a "hammer" and when I asked "why he was doing that" he said "I'm cleaning it up" or something like that with a as I call it "dumb goofy grin" like he "knows what he's doing but is going to do it anyways"(put the hammer in my room so he wouldn't totally tear up the sink)
Anyways I'd like some perspective particularly if possible from anyone dealing with someone with "bizare behaviour" like I described and "what can be done" is it hopeless to try to "get through to him"?(not sure how long he's had this though my Aunt says he's been like this since she can remember)Is it better to maybe see about a case manager or something like that to help him find a medication/therapist to get him out of this?

If he has been that way for a long time it's not schizophrenia, Could be alzheimers, dementia, or louie body dementia. If he's elderly could be just dementia.