I don't want to be impolite.... chronically!
What are some of the ways you are polite when you go over someone's house for dinner? Maybe take off your shoes at the door? Maybe tuck in your chair when you leave the dinner table? I've somehow managed to go off the deep end. I do the dishes, wash the counters and table, sweep, take out the trash, etc. My daughter asked me once when we spent the night there "Did you just clean their tub and wash their toilet?" And I said "Yeah, well, I don't want to be rude."
I know I go way too far. Like I saw their desk was broken, wobbly, and on its last leg. I bought them a new $370 desk, even though I'm poor and don't even have a dresser, I managed to pull it off.
Or like when I was babysitting for friends, a couple. We got into a conversation before they left. I asked why they have a three bedroom, yet their son and daughter share a room? The husband showed me how the third room was full of office equipment. He said someday he plans on setting it up in the living room so their son could have his own room.
I did it, while they were gone, but it took three additional days to finish it. I set up the home office in the living room, cleaned the kids room, took apart the bunk beds, set up the boy's room, and, of course, I did their dishes, and um cleaned their stove- which was atrocious.
I want to be known as patient, loving, forgiving, kind, etc. But some problems have developed from this. One is, while everyone goes to socialise in the living room, I'm in the kitchen scrubbing pots and pans. And what started out as a kindness is now expected. For example, my brother stayed with us for a few months. And every night I cleared of the table and washed the dinner dishes. But one night, after clearing my plate, and my daughters plate, I was interrupted by a phone call...
After being on the phone for well over an hour, I said goodnight to him and started to head to bed. He said "Aren't you going to finish cleaning up?" (While pointing to his plate on the table). I said "I'll do the dishes tomorrow, I'm tired, besides, you can clean up your own plate." He went into a rage. I calmly said "Everyone must pitch in around here, everyone has their share, even kids, and even you." He left, slamming the door behind him. He came back after a few minutes and said that I almost made him commit suicide.
Another time it was late, my daughter had school in the morning, and after dinner she hinted she needs to go. So I stated that I couldn't clean up tonight, and asked if they could handle this little bit? (That night was very little clean up). They said "I guess." very hesitantly, while looking at me puzzled and discussed. This person was just laughing and is now going about angrily and giving me dirty looks.
I am now known to be extremely nice, so if I stop will they think I stopped being christian? If I stop will my christian mindset become lazy?
I have stood in long lines, with only one person behind me, and let them go ahead of me. Then another person comes behind me again, and I let them, and several others go ahead of me, making for a seemingly never ending line.
I think you get the picture. Any thoughts?
What are some of the ways you are polite when you go over someone's house for dinner? Maybe take off your shoes at the door? Maybe tuck in your chair when you leave the dinner table? I've somehow managed to go off the deep end. I do the dishes, wash the counters and table, sweep, take out the trash, etc. My daughter asked me once when we spent the night there "Did you just clean their tub and wash their toilet?" And I said "Yeah, well, I don't want to be rude."
I know I go way too far. Like I saw their desk was broken, wobbly, and on its last leg. I bought them a new $370 desk, even though I'm poor and don't even have a dresser, I managed to pull it off.
Or like when I was babysitting for friends, a couple. We got into a conversation before they left. I asked why they have a three bedroom, yet their son and daughter share a room? The husband showed me how the third room was full of office equipment. He said someday he plans on setting it up in the living room so their son could have his own room.
I did it, while they were gone, but it took three additional days to finish it. I set up the home office in the living room, cleaned the kids room, took apart the bunk beds, set up the boy's room, and, of course, I did their dishes, and um cleaned their stove- which was atrocious.
I want to be known as patient, loving, forgiving, kind, etc. But some problems have developed from this. One is, while everyone goes to socialise in the living room, I'm in the kitchen scrubbing pots and pans. And what started out as a kindness is now expected. For example, my brother stayed with us for a few months. And every night I cleared of the table and washed the dinner dishes. But one night, after clearing my plate, and my daughters plate, I was interrupted by a phone call...
After being on the phone for well over an hour, I said goodnight to him and started to head to bed. He said "Aren't you going to finish cleaning up?" (While pointing to his plate on the table). I said "I'll do the dishes tomorrow, I'm tired, besides, you can clean up your own plate." He went into a rage. I calmly said "Everyone must pitch in around here, everyone has their share, even kids, and even you." He left, slamming the door behind him. He came back after a few minutes and said that I almost made him commit suicide.
Another time it was late, my daughter had school in the morning, and after dinner she hinted she needs to go. So I stated that I couldn't clean up tonight, and asked if they could handle this little bit? (That night was very little clean up). They said "I guess." very hesitantly, while looking at me puzzled and discussed. This person was just laughing and is now going about angrily and giving me dirty looks.
I am now known to be extremely nice, so if I stop will they think I stopped being christian? If I stop will my christian mindset become lazy?
I have stood in long lines, with only one person behind me, and let them go ahead of me. Then another person comes behind me again, and I let them, and several others go ahead of me, making for a seemingly never ending line.
I think you get the picture. Any thoughts?
