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LaVieEnRose
Guest
Oh, I have a lot of literary lovers- Professor Bhaer, Mr. Rochester, Gilbert Blythe, Heathcliff, Captain Wentworth, Mr. Darcy, all the princes in all the fairy tales.
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Actually, you are quite pretty and have a tremendous amount to offer to a prospective mate. If you do get stuck in the wilderness I pray that there is a loving travel companion by your side.
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LaVieEnRose
Guest
Maybe you disparaged her looks? You said I was ugly, and as you can clearly tell by my avatar- that is not the case.
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LaVieEnRose
Guest
I never said anything about her looks. Not one time. I have never talked about sexual capital.
I have discussed sexual economics, in that people tend to pair up with similar likeness.
Y'all ladies discuss your want and desire for Mr. Darcy, or a man of close similar traits, need to ask yourselves: Why would Mr. Darcy want me?
A lot of threads get made about what we require or won't accept in a potential mate. I made one asking what people had to offer in exchange for the perfect spouse. A lot of halfhearted answers were given, and it soon turned to members posting what they demanded.
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LaVieEnRose
Guest
I donāt think Mr. Darcy would want me. Iām fat, broke, sarcastic, and mean as a snake.
I do believe that is what I posted in your thread about what I have to offer.
Guys do the same thing, you were getting slobbery about the freaky looking muscle bound woman I posted.
What is good for the gander is good for the goose. We can fantasize about literary heroes and men can fantasize about hot women. Whatās the difference?
Sure, but I didn't claim another member stated I wasn't good enough .
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LaVieEnRose
Guest
Well, I didnāt know. Iām sorry for maligning you. I made an assumption. I thought maybe you said something, but I believe you would not say anything mean to Toinenea. I believe you are kind.
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toinena
Guest
Tommy has never said I was ugly. And I, because of Marxist theory and Bourdieu tend to call his sexual economy as sexual capital, because that is what he basically is saying. That men and women has a value based on looks and status. I dislike the idea because it seems so shallow. But unfortunately I have to agree there is some truth in it. I believe God is greater than that, though.
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LaVieEnRose
Guest
I didnāt think he would. He is a gentleman at heart.
I think the dynamics between men and women are more complicated than that. If that were the case, then incredibly beautiful poor women would always marry wealthy men. They would always āuse their looksā. I donāt mean to brag, but my grandmother was one of eight beautiful sisters (actually, I will brag). Not one of them married rich.
My grandmother was going out with a guy with whom she broke up, and he turned out to be a well off lawyer in New York.
Anyway, she married a poor fisherman.
No, sexual economics is people pairing up because of similar traits. Traits like appearance, finances, intellect, race, nationality, previous marriage status, education, religion, etc.
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toinena
Guest
Looks can only be a part of it. I like the way Bourdieu talks about habitus. It is a bit Thomas Hardy... with a deterministic approach. But it basically says you get a set of values and cultural capital that links you to the class you are born into. The capital may inflate or deflate according to circumstances like political or social events, but it is hard to move out of that behavioral, linguistical or cultural background you are from. Of course Bourdieu comes from a French background, but he himself rose from a working class habitus to academic prestige.
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LaVieEnRose
Guest
In psychology, we learned about proximity being the main factor about who people tend to marry. So, you are more prone to fall in love and marry the people around you than someone from afar. The people around you are pretty much your equal in religion, culture, race, education, socioeconomic levels, world views.
It's an economy, just like trading money and goods, there are trades made in this sexual economy. Such as one can trade their good looks to a less handsome person, in exchange for wealth. Also some people do reasoning, like a good fisherman, who brings a good harvest, may be more desirable than someone who is wealthy right now. People make trades. When I married, my then wife was far more physically attractive than me, but I had already begun a career with a steady income.
Tommy, are you destroying the precious folk wisdom that opposites attract?
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