What do I do???!!!

[7seasrekeyed]

Well, what are your choices? Burn with lust & look at porn, or burn with lust & fantasize about your husband, or just burn in lust and do nothing about it.

sad

I guess we will all just give in as the lust moves us

 

[7seasrekeyed]

I don't think the Bible talks about masturbation, so again be fully convinced about whatever choice you make.

sometimes people say that you can take the part in Matthew 5 about a man lusting after a woman and turn it around to a woman lusting after a man. I'm not sure about that, men are different from women.

uh...right

so women do not like sex. I forgot about that

and also we are not visual

well, most women know better

bring back the woman's forum...for women

 

[7seasrekeyed]

Okay. So it is something you decided to try on your own.

I will tell you that I do not believe masturbation is a sin. It may make someone come in and begin to scream at me, but it's okay - I've been screamed at before and I can handle it.

But what is a sin is adultery. And porn can't be viewed without adultery because you are lusting over another man and having a sexual encounter with another man on the video.

Do you remember where Jesus said this:
Matthew 5:27-28 New International Version (NIV)
Adultery
27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’[a] 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

So the verse applies to women too. Just replace the word woman with the word man.
So Jesus is saying that the sin is committed in the mind and the heart even IF outward adultery doesn't happen.

So that settles the matter of whether or not watching porn is a sin. It is, because it is a man other than your husband that you are having lustful feelings for as you watch it. It cannot be viewed without committing adultery.

But it doesn't settle the matter of not being able to stop doing it. That desire is still there and even if you determine to not do it, you may still do it again even though you don't want to and you feel bad afterwards for committing the adultery.

Some well meaning Christians may tell you to just keep trying really hard to stop it but you already have those pictures of other men in your head and even if you don't watch the porn, you may be remembering it. Sometimes even WHILE having sex with your husband. So although people may mean well by telling you to just keep trying hard not to sin, they are leading you the wrong way, because if we all could stop sinning by just trying really hard to not do it in our mind and heart, Jesus wouldn't have had to die for us to cover our sins - we could just stop doing them.

Talk to God about the problem and ask for help. You will never conquer any sin except by relying and depending on Him to change your mind and heart. You just won't. You can keep yourself from doing it literally and outwardly with another man, but for your mind and heart, only He can change that. And He has said if you even do it in your mind and heart, you have already committed adultery.

And while you're waiting for Him to answer your prayer for help, if it happens again, realize that this is the whole reason He died for you. Do not get overly distraught that you are a sinner. He full well knows you are a sinner and died for you because you are a sinner, because His blood that He shed for you is for forgiveness of your sins so that you can go before God boldly to ask for the help you need. Go very boldly and speak to God about it because Jesus died so that you would be allowed to call on God as your Father, Daddy, Abba.

Do not let satan get you to depression if/when you fail and do it again. You are a sinner, so don't let him condemn you when God forgives you.

And if you wait patiently and completely trust God, He will see to your problem by beginning to change your mind and heart. And while you wait, you are covered by that Precious Blood that Jesus shed for you because He loves you and wants to have you as His.

what she said except I think the individual has to figure out if they should fly solo on sex or not ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

[pjharrison]

talk about confusion

I never said you were here before

gag on the living it daily stuff

please stop giving advice about church

If you don't want to here about the things of God, Why are you here.

 

[7seasrekeyed]

If you don't want to here about the things of God, Why are you here.

let's see now

you have been here all of 2 days and you already know how to launch an ad hominem attack

well all righty

ta ta

 

[Dan_473]

uh...right

so women do not like sex. I forgot about that

and also we are not visual

well, most women know better

bring back the woman's forum...for women

I didn't say that women don't like sex, or that they are not "visual".

I'm just not sure that genders can always be swapped in Bible passages.

If a man wants to learn something, should he wait until he gets home and ask his wife?

if you sense God convicting you about lust, then stop doing whatever Behavior it is that brings those convictions.

 

[7seasrekeyed]

I didn't say that women don't like sex, or that they are not "visual".

I'm just not sure that genders can always be swapped in Bible passages.

If a man wants to learn something, should he wait until he gets home and ask his wife?

if you sense God convicting you about lust, then stop doing whatever Behavior it is that brings those convictions.

oh I know what you did say

maybe sometimes a man should wait until he gets home and asks his wife

 

[tourist]

Never had a desire and neither has my wife.
What I do not understand is why a person will choose a job or career that keeps them away from home weeks or even days at a time. The only exception would be the military.
Don't tell me it is necessary, because I will never believe it. It is a choice, and a bad choice.
Any man that can leave his family for weeks at a time (except for the military) is a poor excuse of a man in my opinion.

Why the exception for the military because that is a choice too as it is all volunteers?

 

[SpoonJuly]

Why the exception for the military because that is a choice too as it is all volunteers?

Because I enjoy the freedom that is ours because of the sacrifice of these young men and women and their families that make that choice.

 

[tourist]

Because I enjoy the freedom that is ours because of the sacrifice of these young men and women and their families that make that choice.

I am a former member of the armed forces and appreciate those words. I believe that a husband's #1 priority is providing for and taking care of his wife and this is probably why the husband of the OP is away from home so much. Yes, you may have a choice in whether to keep the job and take care of your family or quit that job and try for something else. You reach a point in your life that while you may get a different job because of certain circumstances it does not pay as well causing a strain in the finances. I don't know her husband's circumstances but it is not a simple choice to be made as there may be dire consequences. I feel bad for the wife too as she is in a hard situation. She is not going to hell either as one member stated because God understands the human condition quite well.

 

[Dan_473]

oh I know what you did say

maybe sometimes a man should wait until he gets home and asks his wife

right what I said was that I'm just not sure that genders can always be swapped in Bible passages.

do you believe that everything the Bible says about men also applies to women? and vice versa?

I think that would lead to some very strange situations

1 Timothy 2: 15. but he will be saved through his childbearing, if they continue in faith, love, and sanctification with sobriety.

 

[Waggles]

I feel at times that it's better to watch porn that physically cheat on him with someone else.

But you are cheating on him. You are still "doing it" with the other person(s) on the screen.
Beware a little yeast leavens the whole dough.

 

[7seasrekeyed]

right what I said was that I'm just not sure that genders can always be swapped in Bible passages.

do you believe that everything the Bible says about men also applies to women? and vice versa?

I think that would lead to some very strange situations

1 Timothy 2: 15. but he will be saved through his childbearing, if they continue in faith, love, and sanctification with sobriety.

what would be strange?

is if you believed I believe that

 

[Stunnedbygrace]

ummmmm

but that's what I said

er.....ummm

anywhoooooooooooo

Ah...the last two sentences of your post were to the op, not the guy you were addressing in the rest of your post? So then I was the one who needed coffee. We can only see other peoples need for coffee and not our own...

 

[7seasrekeyed]

Ah...the last two sentences of your post were to the op, not the guy you were addressing in the rest of your post? So then I was the one who needed coffee. We can only see other peoples need for coffee and not our own...

haha

no biggie

 

[Dan_473]

what would be strange?

is if you believed I believe that

I don't really understand what you're asking.

Men don't do childbearing, that's what would be strange.

But hey I'm actually not adverse to swapping genders in Bible passages. it is kind of a liberal thing, going Beyond what is literally stated and looking for the meaning underneath.

In that case one may wish to also take a liberal view of sexual immorality.

 

[Stunnedbygrace]

right what I said was that I'm just not sure that genders can always be swapped in Bible passages.

do you believe that everything the Bible says about men also applies to women? and vice versa?

I think that would lead to some very strange situations

1 Timothy 2: 15. but he will be saved through his childbearing, if they continue in faith, love, and sanctification with sobriety.

Actually...the spirit of those words, believe it or not, does apply to men - and the childbearing is to help make children for God, so that a man bears God children of the Kingdom too by planting the seed he has been given (the gospel), and is their spiritual father.

The spirit of the word goes beyond the temporary and temporal.

 

[Miri]

To the OP porn is a problem I think you know that really.

Saying porn is ok, says that you have no respect for the people you
are watching,

Saying Porn is ok degrades the people you are watching.

What would you say if one of the porn stars became born again and you
met them in eternity, oh sorry I didn’t think you were a real person. I didn’t
realise God loved you.

Porn fuels the slavery in the sex trade, it degrades and demeans human beings.
It destroys lives, it reduces God’s creation to little more than objects and play things.

What if your son or daughter was being oggled by people. It would break your
heart.

What part of God’s love are you displaying by watching and objectifying another
human being.

It’s wrong we all know it.

Talk to your husband to see if there is a way you can move closer to his place of
work or if he can find other work nearer to you.

Realistically if you are watching porn, the issues go deeper than your husband
not being home much.

 

[Dynamaniac]

Hebrews 13:4 says that Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

So in opposition to a lot of others, I do believe that both porn and masturbation are sins of sexual immorality that defile the marriage bed. By watching porn or practicing masturbation, I believe you are giving into your flesh and following the desires of your flesh.

Is your husband a believer? Have you discussed this situation with your husband? Does he know you're fighting these temptations? Communication is key to having a successful relationship. Maybe he's struggling also.

Instead of giving in and watching porn or masturbating, why not just call your husband? There is nothing that says you cannot lust after your husband from a distance.

 

[MessageOfTheCross]

Just remember that the Lord's grace is greater, His Blood is stronger, and His name is higher, than anything in life. Apply the Cross to the problem and receive all the benefits of this resurrection life.