I am happy to offer my support in any way I can. Thank you for allowing me to do so.
As someone who has a past history of anxiety and depression, I appreciate what you share. It is a language I understand. I will also mention the fact that much of my help and healing came from a variety of sources:
1. Finding the right person(s) to talk with - extremely important!
2. Uncovering every aspect of the past and present that could be contributing to this condition - meaning digging through the layers of our life that shaped our view of ourselves and the world around us. I personally think this is key. In this life, we are the result of three things - how we are born, the influence of our environment/relationships, and the choices we make. That's a pretty broad spectrum and each one encompasses lengthy explanations and details, ones I'd be happy to discuss more with you
3.Understanding how diet and lifestyle affect our minds and bodies. Yes, this is a huge category all by itself
4. Understanding how the brain is involved - again, another huge category
5. Resolving any expectations and unmet expectations, as it relates to our faith or anything we have put on ourselves, or others have put on us
6. Believing there is hope for change
7. Utilizing the resources God has put at our disposal
8. Discovering our options for change
9. Reading the psalms and other accounts from those who dealt with depression and sorrow
And the list could go on. Each one by itself is enough for more in-depth conversation, but that is a condensed version of what I have found that needs to be addressed.
I understand your situation. No one wants to carry around the anticipation that one more day might be like all the others, a day that leaves us stuck and full of a desire for some speedy changes.
I believe in the power of prayer. I believe God sends us help in a variety of ways. I believe He sets the captives free. I believe He breaks the strongholds that grip us and torment us. I believe He has the power to change us. I believe He knows us better than we know ourselves. I believe He wants the best for us. And I believe He can break every chain that has wrapped itself around your mind.
The battleground is in the mind. In my own experience, that's why I believe Paul wrote the words that we are to take every thought captive (2 Corin. 10:5) - because we have the ability to do so. We can exchange it with the promise God has for us. I know it's a process of letting go, and finding a way to cling to His word, but I just want to say it is doable, and I am now a completely free and content person.
"Lord, I pray for my friend who is here reaching out to you through the support and love from those who understand the most. I pray you will meet him right he is, and remind him that your love has no boundaries, and that you will fill his life with your presence and your goodness, so that he may live out each day in the fullness of who made him to be, amen."