I will never be in a relationship and it makes me sad

[jovanovic]

There's no quick fix to this problem. I can't know whether it's real or if it's just something in your mind. Either way, you may need to seek help from someone. Being stuck in negative patterns like you are is not a way anyone should be spending their lives.

Do you know of someone that could help you? Someone you could go to?

Du vet, det är inte så lätt för andra människor att se dig, och vad för problemer du har. Dom kann inte vita annat end vad du tillåter dom att vita. Om du säger att du är en idiot, så vill andra lätt tänka att ja visst fan är han en tosse, och sen blir det så. Därför är det viktigt att man inte bara klagar över allt som är fel.

Hoppas du mår bedre i alla fall.

Hehe tro mig det är verkligt. Jag har 3 psykologer men det hjälper inte (än).

Nä...jag har öronvärk.

 

[GOP]

How do i deal with being alone my whole life? I would really like to meet a woman and get married one day but its impossible, it can not happen and that makes me sad.

I have too many flaws for a woman to like me. Its not possible to have a crush on me.

Some of my flaws:


bad posture (back and neck, born with it did not get it from too much sitting infront of computer etc)

extremely red lips (looks like lipstick)

little head.

big and deformed nose.

bushy eyebrows.

walking strange.

crooked foot.

ptosis/lazy eye.

my skin is terrible.

i have a weird way of looking with my eyes.

acne.

deformed fingers (they are crooked)

Both legs looks strange.

extremely skinny arms.

long forehead,

birthmarks in the face.

incredible bad at talking with people (i suspect that I have some kind of light damage to the brain)

weird voice.

hairy.

unibrow.

skin that protrudes at the nails.

Hiatus hernia.

strange / ugly hair.

big ears.

virgin and unkissed even though I'm so old.

Not had friends irl for 12 years. I do have 2 internet friends thought (2 guys who are like me)

Dyslexia.

stupid, low iq.

poor eyesight.

afraid of dogs and cats.

will never have a good job and never have a lot of money.

sometimes there are a lot of embarrassing random leak and saliva out of my mouth.

ugly looking teeth and they are yellow.

Sometimes I stammer.

blinks a lot with the eyes.

licking my lips alot.

extreme dandruff (no schampoo helps me)

sweats a lot and often, i use soap and rollon and try different versions .... but of course its not working.

Snores loud/weird according to my brothers. I sound like a car (?)

sleeping problems. Whick makes me look tired and sad.

no clothes suits me. I look ugly in everything.

long neck.


Etc. I can just keep going. I tried everything to fix my flaws but nothing is working. How i am supposed to live a normal life with all these flaws. I dont ever see myself getting friends and a wife. People are shallow. Why did god give me so many flaws and made people so shallow.

Wow! Wow! Wow! My precious little brother. Do you know how wonderfully made you are? Do you know that you are GOD'S Best? Do you know that you are so unique and precious to GOD? Do you know that there is on one in the whole universe like you, so beautiful and precious to GOD? Do you know that GOD has created someone for you out there to be your wife? Do you know that with GOD all things are possible? Please I beg you, don't think like that anymore (because as a man thinketh so shall he be) and don't speak such words anymore; and make sure you renew your mind with the WORD OF GOD. Let the WORD OF GOD inform you of who you are and let it transform you. Spend time studying the WORD of GOD and listening to messages of the Gospel being preached by Men/Woman of GOD. When you do these, you will really know who you are and your real identity.

Please also never spell GOD by starting with a small letter as you did in your message. Always start with a capital letter.
Pray with Psalm 139:23-24.

I love you brother and there is someone out there searching for you to be your lovely wife in JESUS' NAME.
JESUS IS LORD.

 

[Yoseph]

You look at your flesh that will never inherit the kingdom of God.You are dead burried with Christ raised in newness of life. It's
Not about you.The awsome man you don't see or allow to come forth is Christ in you the hope of glory.The light of your body is your eye.If it's constantly looking for the evil or flaws in you your whole body shall be full of DARKNESS .Choose to look unto Jesus and ask him to be formed in you.
You have not because you ask not ,ask God for wisdom ,look for it, expect it,and when you see or understand it ,ask for more.
You are chosen, if you are born again. If not ask Jesus into your heart to forgive and cleanse you of all your sins and save you a lost sinner.love in Moshiach Jesus. Shalom
Don't try to make Ishmeal live before God.Cast out that idea , let Christ live through you.You are a child of God ,a son,accepted in his beloved son.period!Follow the light of the world all else is DARKNESS. HE LOVES YOU!

 

[GOP]

You look at your flesh that will never inherit the kingdom of God.You are dead burried with Christ raised in newness of life. It's
Not about you.The awsome man you don't see or allow to come forth is Christ in you the hope of glory.The light of your body is your eye.If it's constantly looking for the evil or flaws in you your whole body shall be full of DARKNESS .Choose to look unto Jesus and ask him to be formed in you.
You have not because you ask not ,ask God for wisdom ,look for it, expect it,and when you see or understand it ,ask for more.
You are chosen, if you are born again. If not ask Jesus into your heart to forgive and cleanse you of all your sins and save you a lost sinner.love in Moshiach Jesus. Shalom
Don't try to make Ishmeal live before God.Cast out that idea , let Christ live through you.You are a child of God ,a son,accepted in his beloved son.period!Follow the light of the world all else is DARKNESS. HE LOVES YOU!

Thank you Sir. Well said.
Gory to GOD.
Bro, listen to this and do it.

 

[blue_ladybug]

We don't give GORY to God...

Thank you Sir. Well said.
Gory to GOD.
Bro, listen to this and do it.

 

[LightBright]

To OP: I've took the time to read this whole thread, and...I can't really figure out what you want from the rest of us.

If you wanted to figure out how to cope with being single for life, then I shall say that it's probably not as bad as you think it is. There are people on this site, and also on this thread, who have been single for their entire life (and they're fine with that, too), and they're older than you. So it is possible to live like this.

If you're worried about your appearance, there are a range of inexpensive cosmetic products that can be easily found at your nearby Guardian/Watsons store that might be of some use to you. Take a look around the next time you see one. Also, if you're that insecure about your body, try wearing long-sleeved garments or baggy jeans to look more presentable (Before people here blow up at me for instructing someone on how to change their appearance, I just want to figure out what this guy's asking as much as you do, okay?).

...Or if you're just here to complain, this site is not the place to do it.

I feel like you were extremely serious here, at least compared to what you're usually like lol. Anyway good advice i agree and idk why wanting to look different is bad? Like i think there's a limit but as long as you don't like go super far and end up being a plastic shell I don't see the problem a change of clothes or make up or whatever is totally like ok right? Or am i like vain and crazy....o.o

 

[LightBright]

never said everyone has eazier than me, there is a small number of people who have as many flaws as me and even worse. but i am at the bottom of the lake for sure.

it is reality becaue how many people are 26 and been friendless since 17? how is it possible that in my whole adult life nobody has ever liked me? for 9 years i lived in total loneliness and i dont see any reason to why it should end. my life is not normal. very few people are as alone as i am in my age. why do people avoid me then? there can only be 2 reasons, boring weird personality and very bad looks. why do everyone in my church have/had friends/partner? think about that for a second.

well, these persons who said these mean things where saying the truth, i am the one making this thread, not them. they have normal lifes with friends and partners, i am alone.

Dude....bruh.....fam...look I am totally socially awkward i don't think I've ever had an actual friend in my life ( not superficial people that just hang around you cuz they are bored). I can barely communicate with my family because idk how to talk to people and i get rejected so much i get super anxious sometimes about the smallest things, i have terrible trust issues and don't know how to talk to adults cuz I've never really had a grown figure or role model to help me create that bond. I have went through life depressed and lonely at times because everyone looks at me like I'm just like a slow person who's different and pretty lame to most people. With all that crap said i don't look bad or at least not really I've had girls like me or whatevs it's, there's some people who actually like being around me, i think, for some strange reason, and I'm starting to stop being as anxious. All this because i stopped being so lame! Negativity is lame period i get you're struggling and all this stuff i understand but trust me if you knew you you wouldn't wanna be around....you. instead of changing or even accepting things as they are and living with them you just mope around idc if the most adorable girl came up to me, if she was constantly being negative i wouldn't care its lame and just plain like ugh? Stop worrying about if people like you, stop caring what people think unless it's an objective reality on something moral, and stop feeling sorry for yourself cuz all these things are doing is making things worse. If you feel uncomfortable about the way you look well we all do! Don't have friends? I don't think i do either, and if you feel alone you're totally wrong, you have God and that's all any of us need. BUT WAIT THERES MORE you have your brothers and sisters in Christ all these people obviously care about you i care about you or I wouldn't be typing this rn. Your looking at what others have and ignoring the things you have yourself cuz you think it's not good enough and that's pretty selfish, I'm not gonna say you're life isn't hard but i will say you're making it a million times harder. Your probably not boring or weird cuz I'm noring and weird and somehow still have other weirdos that can be around me and even if you are your not stuck in some bubble of personality you cant escape. You have things you like amd dont like find other people that like that crap too, everybody is boring at first they have things they wanna say they just can't cuz they don't know how cuz they never do! Force yourself to be more open to be yourself and who cares if people dont like it sucks for them. I wanted to be different so bad to be popular or whatevs i became a Christian and stopped caring lol I'm gonna do what God wants me to do and enjoy the blessings he gives me in ways that i want and if someone else doesn't like me cuz I'm not like them, or everyone doesn't, well I'll just be by myself alone doesn't mean lonely i can totally live that way and be content with God, also maybe get a pet of some kind they are cool. And you said people don't like being your friend and think you're boring well I'll be your friend if you want we can talk about stuff like normal people lol id plug my # but trolls exist here cx. Of course if you don't wanna be friends that's cool too maybe I'm to boring and weird for you

 

[GOP]

We don't give GORY to God...

Gory to GOD ALMIGHTY in the Highest.
Glory to GOD ALMIGHTY in the Highest.
Glory to GOD ALMIGHTY in the Highest.
Hallelujah!

Glory to GOD in the Highest, and on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased (Luke 2:14).

 

[WineRose]

I feel like you were extremely serious here, at least compared to what you're usually like lol. Anyway good advice i agree and idk why wanting to look different is bad? Like i think there's a limit but as long as you don't like go super far and end up being a plastic shell I don't see the problem a change of clothes or make up or whatever is totally like ok right? Or am i like vain and crazy....o.o

People have scolded me here occasionally for stating some things that they don't want to see, or for "going too far", so now I try to watch what content I put into my posts more carefully...

 

[LightBright]

People have scolded me here occasionally for stating some things that they don't want to see, or for "going too far", so now I try to watch what content I put into my posts more carefully...

Well if you're right who cares what they think not tryna be a jerk or nothing but if you're trying to help and you're saying whatever you're saying for a good reason and cuz it's true there's nothing wrong with that Jesus didn't sugar coat things he told it like it was regardless of how the people felt about it it was truth but that's just how i feel ig

 

[joefizz]

People have scolded me here occasionally for stating some things that they don't want to see, or for "going too far", so now I try to watch what content I put into my posts more carefully...

Yeah and the sad thing is it takes "only a few seconds" very swiftly "judgemental people" here I mean I still remember when I saw a post of yours that was in my words "a bit much" but I realized you were "upset" and didn't "give you a hard time about it" and likewise I have posted more than one post that has either been somewhat questionable(and people jumped on it like a rabbit down a hole in no time) or rather annoying(started out here doing "wall texts")
or something they simply "didn't like".
I understand we are to be "decent as possible" with what we post and "consider who might get offended by a post" but it would be nice to not feel like being on "pins and needles" wondering if even a silly post could get us banned,or even an "unintentional goof up"(it happens especially with spelling half the time for me due to my big fingers on my phone buttons) not trying to seem like a "grouse" but it's something I feel still could use "improvement" especially in the "Patience" department.(As in please people if you see a questionable post please don't dive on it like vulchers,thinking before "acting" goes both ways you know)

 

[LightBright]

Yeah and the sad thing is it takes "only a few seconds" very swiftly "judgemental people" here I mean I still remember when I saw a post of yours that was in my words "a bit much" but I realized you were "upset" and didn't "give you a hard time about it" and likewise I have posted more than one post that has either been somewhat questionable(and people jumped on it like a rabbit down a hole in no time) or rather annoying(started out here doing "wall texts")
or something they simply "didn't like".
I understand we are to be "decent as possible" with what we post and "consider who might get offended by a post" but it would be nice to not feel like being on "pins and needles" wondering if even a silly post could get us banned,or even an "unintentional goof up"(it happens especially with spelling half the time for me due to my big fingers on my phone buttons) not trying to seem like a "grouse" but it's something I feel still could use "improvement" especially in the "Patience" department.(As in please people if you see a questionable post please don't dive on it like vulchers,thinking before "acting" goes both ways you know)

True even if we are just being jerks doesn't mean people should devour every shred of our existence because we are all disgusting at some point we aren't perfect i mean yea correction is necessary rebuke of course but people will treat you like the antichrist or something cuz you make a mistake, that's totally not ok. We can still let you know you shouldn't do certain things without shoving judgment down peoples throat something im sure ive done at some point too. And people getting on you for spelling ehhh idc but ig some people could be offended by that, people round these parts watch your spelling like girls who text each other insults, one wrong word and you lose immediately grammar gotta be A1 too cx.

 

[EarnestQ]

I concede there are a lot of things you cannot change about yourself. Most of those things are what the world looks at. I can understand your frustration about marriage. I didn't marry until I was 43. The thing that attracted my wife most about me was my honesty.

The things you can change about your life is where your attention should be. You can pursue wisdom from the Bible. You can pursue understanding God's love for you better. You can pursue loving God back more. You can work on sharing God's love with others. You can develop a humble and godly spirit which is of great value in God's eyes. Then at the end of your life you will be able to offer your life as an offering to God whether or not you marry.

AND there are women who are attracted to godly men no matter what they look like.

You can't compete with the culture but who says you have to. Make your life an offering to God and don't be surprised if He brings someone along to share that life with you.

 

[toinena]

How do i deal with being alone my whole life? I would really like to meet a woman and get married one day but its impossible, it can not happen and that makes me sad.

I have too many flaws for a woman to like me. Its not possible to have a crush on me.

Some of my flaws:


bad posture (back and neck, born with it did not get it from too much sitting infront of computer etc)

extremely red lips (looks like lipstick)

little head.

big and deformed nose.

bushy eyebrows.

walking strange.

crooked foot.

ptosis/lazy eye.

my skin is terrible.

i have a weird way of looking with my eyes.

acne.

deformed fingers (they are crooked)

Both legs looks strange.

extremely skinny arms.

long forehead,

birthmarks in the face.

incredible bad at talking with people (i suspect that I have some kind of light damage to the brain)

weird voice.

hairy.

unibrow.

skin that protrudes at the nails.

Hiatus hernia.

strange / ugly hair.

big ears.

virgin and unkissed even though I'm so old.

Not had friends irl for 12 years. I do have 2 internet friends thought (2 guys who are like me)

Dyslexia.

stupid, low iq.

poor eyesight.

afraid of dogs and cats.

will never have a good job and never have a lot of money.

sometimes there are a lot of embarrassing random leak and saliva out of my mouth.

ugly looking teeth and they are yellow.

Sometimes I stammer.

blinks a lot with the eyes.

licking my lips alot.

extreme dandruff (no schampoo helps me)

sweats a lot and often, i use soap and rollon and try different versions .... but of course its not working.

Snores loud/weird according to my brothers. I sound like a car (?)

sleeping problems. Whick makes me look tired and sad.

no clothes suits me. I look ugly in everything.

long neck.


Etc. I can just keep going. I tried everything to fix my flaws but nothing is working. How i am supposed to live a normal life with all these flaws. I dont ever see myself getting friends and a wife. People are shallow. Why did god give me so many flaws and made people so shallow.

Jaha, du. Jag tycker du skriver jättebra engelska till trots för att du säger att du har dysleksi. Kanske jag tar fel, men på något sätt och vis tror jag du vet med att du inte, och inte läget häller, är så illa, men att du önskar uppmerksamhet och medkännsla. Och det är OK det med.

Jag är inte gift nu mera, och kommer knappast att bli det. Och ja. Jag tycker det är tråkigt. Jag kan bli arg och bitter. Men vad hjälper det?

Jag tycker det inte var schysst du blev kritiserad på detta viset som blivit. Men jag tänker nog att du måste jobba med hur du vill att andra ska uppfatta vem du är.

Ursäkta min svenska. Det är inte mitt modersmål.

Brief in English.
It can't be all that bad, and that you have to work with the way you want people to get to view you. I understand you have a hard time, but who hasn't?

 

[777Woman]

I feel the same. Not that I'm terribly unattractive, but that I'm only interested in men considerably younger and they aren't interested in me. Sorry...I know how you feel.

 

[MattforJesus]

jovanovic,you have got to be joking with us,or you really like to cut yourself down,and do not like yourself too much.

You say you cannot get a good job,and make good money,but who are you fooling,for with your flaws and talents you could be the greatest human attraction the world has ever seen,and rake in tons of money showing yourself off as the most flawed person in the history of mankind,even hiring a person to show you off like the other human attractions.

You could be the biggest freak that ever lived putting anyone else to shame,so tell the world about it and become famous,and rich,to deaden the pain of a man with so many flaws that it baffles the human mind to torment.

Also you could be famous by appearing in Ripley's believe it or not,and being in the Guinness book of world records,and talk shows galore,and movies a plenty.

So cheer up for those flaws could turn out to make you famous and rich,so you see it is not that bad.

You forgot to mention that you have an uneven number of hairs on your head,your toenails need trimming because they are .00001 inches too long,the left nostril is .00000000002 millimeters higher than the right nostril,and when you read a 100 page book you cannot remember every single word that you read,and your dad did not love you because he only gave you a 50 dollar allowance a week when you were 10 years old,and you only achieved a B+ average in school so you are dumb as a box of rocks.

For you have to lay all those flaws on the line,for the more flaws the more famous you will be,so do not hold back on telling your flaws for I am sure you can find more,maybe so many that Ripley's believe it or not will have to be like Time magazine,and dedicate a whole book to you.

But I am playing around,for I know you are playing around.

But if you are not playing around there is still a woman for you,but with your flaws she will be like trying to find a needle in a haystack,or a four leaf clover,or seeing bigfoot and capturing him.

But I do not think those flaws matter,for so what if you look worse than the elephant man,and have yellow teeth brighter than the sun,and acne that makes your face look like a map of mountain land,and stink worse than a skunk,and snore as to shatter windows and knock down doors,and have an IQ so low that science wants to study you,for your lack of a good job and money is what will keep you from having a relationship not those other flaws.

Women,I am only joking around.

 

[jovanovic]

I concede there are a lot of things you cannot change about yourself. Most of those things are what the world looks at. I can understand your frustration about marriage. I didn't marry until I was 43. The thing that attracted my wife most about me was my honesty.

The things you can change about your life is where your attention should be. You can pursue wisdom from the Bible. You can pursue understanding God's love for you better. You can pursue loving God back more. You can work on sharing God's love with others. You can develop a humble and godly spirit which is of great value in God's eyes. Then at the end of your life you will be able to offer your life as an offering to God whether or not you marry.

AND there are women who are attracted to godly men no matter what they look like.

You can't compete with the culture but who says you have to. Make your life an offering to God and don't be surprised if He brings someone along to share that life with you.

my attention is with god.

no matter what they look like? yeah but its only a 1 in million chance.

god call some people to singelhood, for sure he have done that with me.

 

[Tommy379]

It ain't going to work.

 

[jovanovic]

Jaha, du. Jag tycker du skriver jättebra engelska till trots för att du säger att du har dysleksi. Kanske jag tar fel, men på något sätt och vis tror jag du vet med att du inte, och inte läget häller, är så illa, men att du önskar uppmerksamhet och medkännsla. Och det är OK det med.

Jag är inte gift nu mera, och kommer knappast att bli det. Och ja. Jag tycker det är tråkigt. Jag kan bli arg och bitter. Men vad hjälper det?

Jag tycker det inte var schysst du blev kritiserad på detta viset som blivit. Men jag tänker nog att du måste jobba med hur du vill att andra ska uppfatta vem du är.

Ursäkta min svenska. Det är inte mitt modersmål.

Brief in English.
It can't be all that bad, and that you have to work with the way you want people to get to view you. I understand you have a hard time, but who hasn't?

Nä, min engelska är riktigt dålig. Vill inte ha uppmärksamhet och medkänsla, lönlöst, vad ska det leda till? Ingenting. Det botar inte mina sjukdomar eller defekter.

Varför tror du att du aldrig kommer bli gift igen? Du är en vacker dam...

Jag tycker inte någon kritiserat mig hårt i tråden.

Din svenska är bra!

 

[jovanovic]

It ain't going to work.