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How is the infection? (I'm really wondering if he is in pain too.)
And how are you?
ArtsieSteph's dad's cancer superthread
- Thread starter ArtsieSteph
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And how are you?
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Did the hospital tell why he was discharged? (Just sounds strange to go from talking hospice care to discharge. Not bad strange or good strange, just strange.)
I am kind of at a loss. Everything I say either good bad or indifferent makes him cry. Either condemn himself or yet frustrated or....I just don’t know what to do.
i don’t want to contradict all he says or not listen but I don’t have anything I can say or anything I can do. What do I do.
i don’t want to contradict all he says or not listen but I don’t have anything I can say or anything I can do. What do I do.
And as far as the infection we don’t know. He’s gotta take antibiotics by mouth for 4 more days
What do you do Steph? You just be there, nod and listen and say as little as possible. When someone is inconsolable there is nothing you can say that will make any difference. Just refuse any notion that your Dad has been abandoned by God or that he isn't saved anymore. In as few words as possible. I have been where you are a few times. Just listen to the Spirit within you and ride it out. I am still praying over this with you. Love ya sis!
I have to shut up and listen more. That’s hard. Becausd it’s like I’m letting it happen and get worse if I don’t do something.
Daddy is was inconsolable. Then I shut up and listened and now he’s watching tv, talking about other things. I think God is trying to show me I gotta start treating daddy...like a patient...
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How are you on really-big-hug? It sounds like he could use one of those. Sounds like he could use more than one.
And you keep forgetting something, you are doing three really important things:
1. You're praying for him.
2. You're there for him.
3. You're praying for him.
You don't know what to do, but you're already doing it. And you don't know what to do, but God does! And he's doing it. This is not one of God's blink-of-an-eye moments. Sometimes we have to go through the Valley of Death. It's a big valley!
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If he's on antibiotics for the next four days that's because the doctors are pretty sure he needs antibiotics for four more days. Last time I was on meds to clear up an infection, it didn't feel like it could be better in four days, but it was. And it stayed better. Assume the same thing, but watch out for any signs that might point to not-enough.
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This really might be related to the infection. And then again it might not be.
I hope he is getting some resolution over what he's feeling. But I also know sometimes I cry for so long, I have to stop to rest, just for enough whatever to start crying again. I'm truly hoping that's not the case here, but wanted to warn you, if it is what is happening.
You really are doing very well in all this. Not necessarily perfect-levels, but you're not curled up in a corner feeling like a big blob, so that's very well! And considering there is no perfect, very well is very good.
He seems more calm and willing to be with family but he still doesn’t wanna do stuff like take a shower....
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Ah, come on now. Remember the last time you had the flu? The horrible kind, not just the really-bad kind? Did you just not feel like taking a shower, or did you not have the energy to take a shower?
Sometimes it's okay not to take a shower. Do you have a basin so he can maybe wash without much movement required?
Sometimes John and I have been so sick for so long, the funk got to us before our energy returned. At those times, the other one would fill a basin, (the type used most often for rinsing dishes if you don't have a double sink), with hot water. (Hot enough that it won't burn, but above the usual comfortably hot levels, because the water cools down quickly.) Bring in the basin, a facecloth, a hand towel (for putting body parts on, to avoid getting the bed/sofa wet too), a towel, and some soap. Then we leave the room for privacy, but within hearing range, so the other one can call out when the water is all soapy and dirty, but rinsing off is still required. If washing hair is included, we also include a cup and extra towel. But we're always in earshot, because the basin will need refilling at least once. Twice, or even three times if hair washing is included.
I wouldn't worry if he doesn't bath the first day. After the second day, if he chooses not to bathe, its most likely he doesn't have the energy to. But, ultimately funk wins out, (fortunately, we've always grossed ourselves out before grossing out others lol), so just a suggestion for how to get around it until his energy improves.
He got a shower and he seems calmer. Plus his mother is here and he tends to not panic as much with her there.
It’s odd. He’s been talking today like he’s an old man. Lamenting about his life, wishing he were back at the hospital for that around the clock care despite how much he hates the cost, going from 1-100 in a second on the Freeport conversation scale...
The hospital is a safe haven for your dad sheltered from the cares and worries of the world. What he feels is quite common.
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Well heck he just got out of the hospital on Sunday and now he’s at the cancer treatment center possibly going to their hospital.
Crisis sort of semi averted, he didn’t have to be admitted but he still has to go again Thursday
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Yeah, it's getting close to two years since John came home, but all his doctor appointments are at the same hospital.
There are two kinds of appointments he has:
1. Routine/preemptive stuff. (Eye appointments, sleep center appointments, podiatrist, hearing aids, etc.)
2. Real stuff. (Primary doctor, cardiologist,... hmm, just notice the list has shrunk. Yay! lol)
Every time he goes for the "real stuff," I go with him. Partly to be a second pair of ears, so we get all that was said, but partly as his getaway driver. Almost two years later, and still fear they'll put him back in the hospital for whatever reason.
I distinctly remember when that was a huge fear, so I get why you're worried.
There are two kinds of appointments he has:
1. Routine/preemptive stuff. (Eye appointments, sleep center appointments, podiatrist, hearing aids, etc.)
2. Real stuff. (Primary doctor, cardiologist,... hmm, just notice the list has shrunk. Yay! lol)
Every time he goes for the "real stuff," I go with him. Partly to be a second pair of ears, so we get all that was said, but partly as his getaway driver. Almost two years later, and still fear they'll put him back in the hospital for whatever reason.
I distinctly remember when that was a huge fear, so I get why you're worried.