ArtsieSteph's dad's cancer superthread
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When John was in the hospital the "teddy bears" wrote to him every day. It was "their" journal.
Make it private. It does you good. And, later on, you can revisit this with your mom after you find out how this goes. (You might not want it to be public.)
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Read Psalm 139. It's the "problem" with walking away. We can't. Well, we can, but God isn't going anywhere, so we can't. Truthfully, not a problem. It's a relief.
Might be a relief for your dad too.
Yeah it was already suggested! I didn’t have the strength to read anything but I told him it was suggested by several people to read that as well as psalm 34.
Well dad told mom and she was like "Ok" and I been sort of in a state of sad shock really since yesterday. Like depressed. I'm getting past it too, but dad is like emotional and physically stamping his feet and pacing and....
He may need to go to a shrink honestly. He's that worried about things and agitated.
He may need to go to a shrink honestly. He's that worried about things and agitated.
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When John was in the hospital, I could see him eating his words. You know that look guys get, when they have so much to say, but don't want to burden wife/mom/sister/women-in-general? That look. I could see he had a lot of questions and the questions kept on circling., but he was never going to throw them out on me. (And probably because he's seen me fall to pieces, when it was bad before, and suspected I had fallen to pieces somewhere along the line then too... which I had, but wasn't going to tell him either, until he as stronger. So can't say I blame him.)
I tried getting a pastor to visit him. (Didn't work out. Probably would have if we were members of a church.) I did get his three best buddies to visit him, and they did. (One of his best buddies, is also his "little" brother.)
Seems to me, your dad has something to say, but he doesn't want to burden his daughters or wife about it. (And, he's not wrong there, because if you knew what he was really thinking -- completely -- it probably would freak you out.) Does he trust a pastor? Does he have best buddies?
And assuming he has someone other than family, can you talk them into seeing him? AND, when they come, leave! (And I mean leave the house, so he's free to yell, scream, and throw things without worrying his family.)
He's eating his words when he needs to spill them to someone that won't take it personally.
Yeah we've had him talk to pastor, some friends from church, the pastor's son whom he grew up with, and he is worried that because what he has said to them people from church are basically gonna shun us
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Yeah, he needs pastor's son to come back and tell him it's not going to happen. And he could probably use repeat visits because I doubt it can all be said in just one visit.
Steph, Your dad's decision maker is impaired by the depression. I know this from experience. My depression is controlled right now because of meds. There were times before my knee replacement surgeries when it wasn't, and I made some bad decisions. You tell your dad to not trust his decisions right now because no depression is fully controlled, in such a harrowing experience. Tell him if his faith is wavering, it is temporary and it will be back. 
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pottersclay
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Did I say the right thing? Did I do the wrong thing? Am I thinking the right thought? Do I pray the right way? Am I strong in my faith? Do I really believe? Is there a God? Is it all in my head? Will it hurt when I die? Will I know when I'm dead? Am I going to get better? How worse will I get?
Whats happening to me? Is it the meds? What did they mean by that? How bad do I look? Are they lieing to me? Is that pain normal? I don't feel so good. This is messed up. God is punishing me. I can't do anything. They don't care. Will this go away? Yeah lucky you. I can't do that. I feel better. Did it go away? You hate me. I'm such a burden. Can we afford that? I can't help you. Why am I so tired? Let's get this over with. What about her? What about him. Can I work again? Did I eat? I'm not hungry. Can't sleep. Leave me alone. Where are they? I hate this. I'm sorry.
Things that are said, thoughts that are thought .
Still have you and yours in my prayers Steph. Take time to be still and know that he (God) is .
Whats happening to me? Is it the meds? What did they mean by that? How bad do I look? Are they lieing to me? Is that pain normal? I don't feel so good. This is messed up. God is punishing me. I can't do anything. They don't care. Will this go away? Yeah lucky you. I can't do that. I feel better. Did it go away? You hate me. I'm such a burden. Can we afford that? I can't help you. Why am I so tired? Let's get this over with. What about her? What about him. Can I work again? Did I eat? I'm not hungry. Can't sleep. Leave me alone. Where are they? I hate this. I'm sorry.
Things that are said, thoughts that are thought .
Still have you and yours in my prayers Steph. Take time to be still and know that he (God) is .
I think that’s exactly the thought process dad is starting to face and he is fighting against it happening.
Figured I’d switch back to this thread since things are more clinical right now. So far dad was having huge difficulties concentrating, circular thoughts, slightly suicidal tendencies that he did once or twice on a whim, and so we took him to the ER. Turns out he has a big infection in the fluid accumulating in his stomach, and that may account for the sudden behavioral changes.
He also may be very depressed. He has been making some statements to the doctor shrinksbthat apparently have been concerning so they may admit him to a psychiatric hospital....
He also may be very depressed. He has been making some statements to the doctor shrinksbthat apparently have been concerning so they may admit him to a psychiatric hospital....
Right now, clinically, they are working on the infection to see what that does to the head stuff. I hope it at least helps. I’m praying that Gods will be done here and that God do what He needs to do in order to save daddy’s heart.