What Happens When That Attractive Person You Marry... Loses Their Attractiveness?

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Hello honey ... er umm
there is something I need to tell you

Me too, can't wait to tell
Ok at the same time then ... Go

I'm breaking up with you
Will you marry me?

Well this is awkward

that-awkward-moment-random-31574025-580-653.jpg

​
 
Ugly said:
That's a rather uninformed statement. Seoul has been in this site for years and not one person that knows her even slightly would think of her words in that way or that being her meaning. Her point was clear, either way. She Did mention people getting sick in her OP, so posting about someone with an illness actually falls right in line. And since it's quite common that illness tends to have a negative affect on one's appearance it is not critical to reference that, nor an insult to anyone. It is a valid point in light of the topic.
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She has absolutely amazing literary skills too. :)
 
This thread reminds me of a comic strip that centers around two elderly people, Earl and Opal Pickles. Their daughter finds out Earl washes his hair with bar soap, so she starts trying to convince him to use conditioners and shampoos and stuff. "Why?" "So your hair would look nicer." "Why would I care about that?" "Well... uh..." "Stumped you, didn't I?

So she brings his wife into it. "Dad, just because you're an old man doesn't mean you don't need to take care of your hair any more. I mean, you want to look good for Mom, don't you?"

"With her bad eyesight, I doubt that she cares."

His wife pipes up, "He's right Sylvia. As long as he smells okay, I'm fine."

Comic in question:
Pickles by Brian Crane for Apr 14, 2016
 
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seoulsearch said:
Hey Everyone!

* What happens after 20, 30, or 50 years, and 20, 30, or 50 pounds? Do you think you'll still be attracted to that person? Yes, we all age and it is a fact that everything slows down. When I meet my future spouse, I'll love her so much that this won't matter! :)

* What will happen after someone loses their attractiveness to you (or you to them)? (This goes far beyond physical appearance, too--what if the person you marry becomes ill, and it completely changes their demeanor and personality, possibly making them bitter and critical instead of loving and kind?) The same thing I do now - pray consistently :) 1st Thess. 5-16-18 come into mind for this one.

* How do you feel about staying with someone if you are no longer attracted to them? I will keep in mind that I married for better or worse :)

* How would you feel (and what would you do) if your spouse was no longer attracted to you? I would feel unattractive, not respected, and unappreciated. I would suggest prayer (of course) in addition to a faith based marriage counselor (which is what I will be one day!)
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ok...just gotta say....beauty is not skin deep...

beauty comes from the inside out...

if theyre ugly on the inside who cares how good looking they are on the outside?

a great haircut and color, diet, and makeup, dental cosmetics, and contacts can easily change appearance

only Jesus and fruit changes the heart
 
That is a stereotype. There are attractive women like myself who are faithful. I gotta find a good looking guy who won't cheat.
 
seoulsearch said:
Hey Everyone!

We've had a few threads running about what we find attractive in a potential date and/or spouse. The general consensus seems to be that we all want (and some would say need) to find someone who is attractive to us, but the definition of what's attractive or not will vary greatly between individuals.

* What happens after 20, 30, or 50 years, and 20, 30, or 50 pounds? Do you think you'll still be attracted to that person?

* What will happen after someone loses their attractiveness to you (or you to them)? (This goes far beyond physical appearance, too--what if the person you marry becomes ill, and it completely changes their demeanor and personality, possibly making them bitter and critical instead of loving and kind?)

* How do you feel about staying with someone if you are no longer attracted to them?

* How would you feel (and what would you do) if your spouse was no longer attracted to you?

As Christians, if we marry, we commit to staying with someone no matter what, and I have to be honest in that when I really think about it (and see the challenges couples deal with as they get older), I find it to be quite intimidating.

I'm posting a few pictures as examples of the Biblical truth that "beauty is fleeting" (Proverbs 31:30.) I know not everyone will find these people attractive but I just wanted to show how even The Most Beautiful of the Beautiful might not stay so beautiful forever.

What do you think?

(Please stand by... My original post is too long due to pictures I want to include. Give me just a few minutes and I will hopefully get them to post.) :)
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Good news! When you get older, you readjust. Out of your before and after shots, the only one I don't think is attractive is Micky Rourke. There's a reason for that. He never was attractive to me. (Pasty and sweaty looking.)

I think the older you get, the wrinkles and sags add to character. Not only are you still pretty, you also have character and life-experience to deserve the wrinkles and sages.

When I married hubby he was drop-dead gorgeous! He still is! Sometimes I'm shocked at how old he is, but then again, I'm shocked how old I am.

When I was a kid, my biggest fear was I'd end up looking just like my mother. Her favorite outfit was her bathrobe and deerskin slippers with white socks. She died at 44, and because I was being immediately shipped off to Dad's house after she died, her mom and brothers packed her favorite things for me to take home. A year later I found her bathrobe. Too old-lady for me, but I'm sentimental, so didn't throw it away. Went off to college and then moved out of my Dad's house into my own place, and forgot all that stuff along the way. A decade later, Dad was moving, so I got the box back. The bathrobe fit, and it stopped looking old-lady to me, so I started wearing it. I was in my 50s, and one winter day, I was sitting her and looked down at my feet. Had that bathrobe on, and sure enough, somewhere along the way I started wearing white socks and deerskin slippers. Not seeing my face, I swore I was seeing Mom.

So I ran upstairs to look in the mirror! Wow! Looked like Mom's older sister. lol

Still have that robe (don't wear robes often), and now I realize, I look old, and she never did.

Attitudes change. I grew up thinking Sean O'Connery was gorgeous. Still do. First time I saw Brad Pitt, he was 19 years old and dreamy. (Kind of creepy, because I'm older. The movie is Thelma and Louise, if you want to see Brad at his youngest.) Still creeps me out because he's a kid, but i still think David McCullum is handsome.

Ultimately, I think most of us are hard-wired to be attracted to people our age or older. Works out great, since we keep getting older.
 
Lynx said:
For some reason I'm reminded of a comic I once read. This one guy was rich, and he was being asked to follow a lot of other rich folks in giving away half of his wealth to charity. (It was a fad for a time.) The rich guy was talking about all the things he still wanted to do with his wealth first, including getting married.
"But you've already been married three times!"
"Four. They keep aging out."
"Hmm, interesting concept."
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When someone asked Elizabeth Taylor why she kept changing her mind on the guys she married, she said she never had. She always wanted her husband to be in his 40s. And sure enough, they all were.
 
Ralph- said:
Oh, cheer up, mate. Surely there's a good looking widow out there who will have you. But draw the line at two dead husbands. Any more than that............bad sign. Steer clear.
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My grandmother had two dead husbands by the time she was in her 50s.

She married an older man when she was young. They had two girls. (Mom was the second one.) And he died at 39. She was 24 when she remarried. He died when she was in her 50s. Still think she shouldn't marry again? She didn't, but she also lived until 93, so she could have.
 
seoulsearch said:
All right, all my fellow ladies out there... Please excuse me for this, but a particular quote comes to mind:

"There are no ugly women, only lazy ones." -- Helena Rubinstein, the late cosmetics mogul.

Her point was simply that appearances (not God's free gift of salvation) require at least a little bit of work and effort.
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Yeah, gave up wearing makeup when I started my own business (in my 40s.) I've consistently seen myself as a 4. Not ugly, but not pretty either.

When I look back at pictures from my late teens and early twenties -- Dang! The words "brick house" comes to mind, but my face was mediocre. I married at 24, so I was in that stage at that time.

Hubby still sees me as that 24 year old, even without makeup.

And I saw him as that 33 year old until he was so very sick two years ago for so very long. Now he looks much older! 37!
 
Lynx said:
I'm surprised you have never heard of it before. It is the home of the not by works thread, in which you seem to have made many posts.
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"I'm only interested in getting a chuckle out of a few people." You kind of have to understand that is his wit.
 
If I was married and my husband had a preventable condition (being over-weight for example), of course I would still love him! As his wife, I'd cook healthy meals for him, pack healthy snacks for his work, and ask him to be my exercise buddy. If it's for reasons out of his control (wrinkles, scars, saggy skin, etc..), it would be a natural part of life. I know I wouldn't want him to think about the exit if I had excessive wrinkles, scars, and saggy skin as I age.

At the end of the day, if both people strive to eat healthy and be physically active to maintain good health, I don't see why the other person would ever be unattractive. It's a way to be healthy and bond closer together.
 
Here is Denzel Washington and his wife Pauletta in 1983 and again in 2018. Not too much difference in their appearance in 35 years. They are also a happy Christian couple.

Denzel n Pauletta.jpg
 
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