Hey Everyone,
I admit that when I found myself very unwillingly divorced around 25 years old, I was in panic mode and thought that if I didn't find another possibility very, very soon, my life would be over. At that time, I couldn't fathom waiting until I was 30... and then 35... and somewhere along the line, 40 blasted right past me and here I am... still searching.
I suppose the biggest thing for me was the good old biological clock--the time frame for having a family was slowing ticking away, and even at 38, I thought there still might be a possibility. However, when I look at things realistically... Even if I met someone today, we'd probably date for a year or two... then hopefully be married for at least 3 years (that's what my Mom always advised me to do, so that you have time to get to know each other), and that would mean I would right around 50 years old--and supposedly looking at having my first baby, if at all possible.
I'm sorry, but I'm not a Hollywood celebrity--I don't have a fortune and an entourage with which to raise my kids, and I really can't see myself chasing after toddlers full-time at that age. If God has other plans, so be it, but I also think it's important to stay grounded in reality.
This has led me to really pay attention when some of our more experienced single peers here on the forum express a desire to meet someone special--people in their 40's, 50's, 60's, and even 70's. I have noticed that sometimes, the younger members (and I fall into this trap, too) seem to be surprised that anyone "at that age" might still have the desire to find love and someone to share their life with.
* Why is that so surprising?
* Why does there seem to be this belief that if you don't find someone by, let's say age 35 (I just used that as an arbitrary example), that a person's potential and longing withers and dies, and anyone past a certain age should just give up on romantic love?
* Is it because they are at an age that's nearly, or well past the biological prime of having children, and that's what most people see marriage as being geared for?
* Is it because 99% of Hollywood movies showcase romances between young, otherworldly good-looking people?
I often wonder what love would look like if I found it at this stage in life, because it's not going to be about graduating from college and buying our first house ever together and starting big careers and bringing forth brand-new bundles of joy.
I would imagine that love now is sharing children with parents and families who have already had them for quite some time, settling into things like caring for aging relatives, putting kids through college, and maybe talking about future retirement or travel.
I honestly have no idea what to expect or what possible plans and dreams slightly "older" love might ignite.
But, I would very much like to think that I'm still all geared up for the adventure (shenanigans galore!), and that it's still out there waiting for me.
What about you?
* How long do you think the desire to find romantic love lasts, and why?
I admit that when I found myself very unwillingly divorced around 25 years old, I was in panic mode and thought that if I didn't find another possibility very, very soon, my life would be over. At that time, I couldn't fathom waiting until I was 30... and then 35... and somewhere along the line, 40 blasted right past me and here I am... still searching.
I suppose the biggest thing for me was the good old biological clock--the time frame for having a family was slowing ticking away, and even at 38, I thought there still might be a possibility. However, when I look at things realistically... Even if I met someone today, we'd probably date for a year or two... then hopefully be married for at least 3 years (that's what my Mom always advised me to do, so that you have time to get to know each other), and that would mean I would right around 50 years old--and supposedly looking at having my first baby, if at all possible.
I'm sorry, but I'm not a Hollywood celebrity--I don't have a fortune and an entourage with which to raise my kids, and I really can't see myself chasing after toddlers full-time at that age. If God has other plans, so be it, but I also think it's important to stay grounded in reality.
This has led me to really pay attention when some of our more experienced single peers here on the forum express a desire to meet someone special--people in their 40's, 50's, 60's, and even 70's. I have noticed that sometimes, the younger members (and I fall into this trap, too) seem to be surprised that anyone "at that age" might still have the desire to find love and someone to share their life with.
* Why is that so surprising?
* Why does there seem to be this belief that if you don't find someone by, let's say age 35 (I just used that as an arbitrary example), that a person's potential and longing withers and dies, and anyone past a certain age should just give up on romantic love?
* Is it because they are at an age that's nearly, or well past the biological prime of having children, and that's what most people see marriage as being geared for?
* Is it because 99% of Hollywood movies showcase romances between young, otherworldly good-looking people?
I often wonder what love would look like if I found it at this stage in life, because it's not going to be about graduating from college and buying our first house ever together and starting big careers and bringing forth brand-new bundles of joy.
I would imagine that love now is sharing children with parents and families who have already had them for quite some time, settling into things like caring for aging relatives, putting kids through college, and maybe talking about future retirement or travel.
I honestly have no idea what to expect or what possible plans and dreams slightly "older" love might ignite.
But, I would very much like to think that I'm still all geared up for the adventure (shenanigans galore!), and that it's still out there waiting for me.
What about you?
* How long do you think the desire to find romantic love lasts, and why?
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