I suggest you prepare a presentable resume and tell employers what you just wrote, its a step toward being real, you might even get over being tired admitting it, and don't worry: Be thankful for what you have. 5 Years ago when I had nothing the Lord told me, "Be thankful for what you have." I ended up in tears and Said, lord T ell me what I have so I can be thankful for it? He said, "You have a relationship with Me,"
Your brother in Christ Raymond