My family are pushing me too hard
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Thank you, I was hoping for advice like that. I also love my Mum and my sister but I just don't like them a lot right now. If that makes sense.
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perlcookwriter
Guest
It does make sense. Love is a relationship. It grows over time. You know you love your mom, mum, and you know you love your sister. Don't ever forget that and that love will grow stronger naturally.
And I totally understand wanting to express all this stuff. That is what forums like this are for - I think. I hope you've gained some understanding or at least encouragement and hopefully you will talk to an adult. Maybe someone at your church congregation who you can talk to regularly, as things progress. Ideally that adult would be your mother...but I understand how impossible it seems right now.
I do want to challenge you to take this day and be the best you can. Don't stay up late tonight and try to be nice, to everyone, and think about the positive. Look around the room, the one you're sitting in right now, and notice the pretty things. Anything that pleases the eye, has a nice fragrance, or things you are glad to own. Just whisper "thank you" to yourself for each of these things. Thankfulness is indeed the strongest emotion to combat negativity. It works wonders!
And don't forget we're all here to be friends and hear about how things are going for you. : )
And I totally understand wanting to express all this stuff. That is what forums like this are for - I think. I hope you've gained some understanding or at least encouragement and hopefully you will talk to an adult. Maybe someone at your church congregation who you can talk to regularly, as things progress. Ideally that adult would be your mother...but I understand how impossible it seems right now.
I do want to challenge you to take this day and be the best you can. Don't stay up late tonight and try to be nice, to everyone, and think about the positive. Look around the room, the one you're sitting in right now, and notice the pretty things. Anything that pleases the eye, has a nice fragrance, or things you are glad to own. Just whisper "thank you" to yourself for each of these things. Thankfulness is indeed the strongest emotion to combat negativity. It works wonders!
And don't forget we're all here to be friends and hear about how things are going for you. : )
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perlcookwriter
Guest
It's not the only fun you have. I mean you're on now, that's fun, right? I used to imagine things at night when I went to bed. You can continue the same story, in your head, every night, and stay up as late as you like with all the lights off and not break any rules. You'll eventually fall asleep without even realizing it and probably have more exciting dreams because you've been practicing your mind. Please? Just make some improvement right now, I know you'll feel so proud of yourself. And you gotta change eventually so might as well take it in small steps.
I am realistic. I'm also direct and straight-forward in my replies. I'm speaking to you as a semi-adult because you're old enough to not be a little kid, but still too young to be a grown-up. You keep saying the same thing over and over, instead of asking mom or stepdad what you can do to earn back their trust, you're on here complaining about the situation that you got yourself into. How is your relationship with your stepdad? Is he easier to talk to? If so, you may want to try and talk to him instead. Constantly complaining about it will get you absolutely nowhere at all. Try adopting a better outlook on it all. You've apologized and that's a good start. But I'm sure your mom is still upset that you let her down. Just do what she wants for now, without complaining, and this too WILL pass eventually.
Yeah that's a long stretch of feeling restricted, but barely long enough to really form new good habits. It would be a good idea to bring another adult in as just an outside objective voice that could help you and your mom talk through an agreement of how to earn her trust back and what you need to do to get privileges reinstated. How much longer will the school year last for you? Is it likely there will be other new kids in your class come autumn and there will be more of an opportunity to build friendships then?
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Ariel82
Guest
Yeah I get it. I have three brothers and though I always loved them, some days I didn't like them much.
Do you have any hobbies you could do while grounded? Painting,, reading, writing stories, knitting, cooking?
All this advice to "talk to your mom" or "talk to a trusted adult"...
Some how I get the feeling that if you had an adult you trusted and felt comfortable talking to, you wouldn't be posting on an online forum.
Developing communication skills are hard and I have watched enough interactions between kids and parents to realise sometimes it's not totally the kids fault.
Parents don't listen either.
Only way to change the situation is to show your mom that you are a responsible adult that can make wise decisions.
It is to take Jesus advice and answer hostile words and attitudes with kindness and patience and love.
Don't lash back even though that will be your first response if you feel like they are being unjust. Instead listen.
What part of what they are saying is true?
What part is wrong?
How can you convince them of the truth?
Acknowledge if you are at fault and show not only through your words that you are sorry but through your actions.
Have you ever heard of the five love languages?
One of the ways people feel loved is through acts of kindness.
Do nice things for your mom and sister but don't expect them to say thanks and if they ask why just say it's because you love them.
As love grows so will trust ...
Some things you could do....write a letter telling them specifically all the things you love about them and are thankfuk for,....so extra chores without being told too...make cards that day I love you and hide them in different places around the house, car, or any place they might find them...
You can think of things to do. You can't wait for other people to change..if you want your life to be different you have to first change and seek God's guidance through prayer and reading the Bible will help.
At least it helped me not be so angry.
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kaylagrl
Guest
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kaylagrl
Guest
I'm sorry, I am not trying to derail the thread. But to tell this girl that her mother has a demon is wrong and ridiculous. Im not about to allow false teaching to pass,especially with an impressionable young girl.
Christians are not posessed, but if they control others it can be that it's demonic inspired. Doesn't have to be, just said it sounds like it. I've seen it enough, people who needed inner healing years later when they were adults because of the abuse and the parents were christian.
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Tinuviel
Guest
Dear Fran. I don't know how this happened, but in the few short weeks you've been here, and the even smaller amounts of interaction I've had with you, you have worked your way right to the middle of my big-sister heart. I love you more than words can tell. You are such a beautiful young woman, and I hurt for your hurt. I've been watching this thread, and have refrained from commenting. I'd love to give you some helpful advice, but first I've just been doing a lot of praying. That God would give me words to say to you, that He would make you to feel His love, that He would prepare the way and make the time right for what people say on this thread.
I can't promise that you will like what I say. As a matter of fact, I'm almost sure you won't. But I love you too much to go without saying anything. For right now, just let those words seep in. I love you, dear sister!
I can't promise that you will like what I say. As a matter of fact, I'm almost sure you won't. But I love you too much to go without saying anything. For right now, just let those words seep in. I love you, dear sister!
Not really. My stepdad just thinks its not his place to tell me off or anything. He is ok, I don't hate him or anything and we do things together as a family, but if I am in trouble, Mum decides, and emails my dad.
That's a really lovely thing to say and you can be my big sister on here
I know it seems as if I was whining before but I really didn't mean to. It's just that I thought I could say what I was feeling here and get some help and support. If all I needed was someone to tell me to do as I am told, I have a houseful of people to get advice from!
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kaylagrl
Guest
Ok,lets get past this. The issue is not with demons. Her mother is being strict because the OP has done something to break her trust. It has to be something rather serious for her to make her daughter change friends among other things. Im sure when things settle down her mother will not be so strict. She is at an age where she can get pregnant and its important that she understands why her mother is being so strict. No teen expects to get pregnant but we know how easily that can happen. We need to be careful of the advice we are giving this young lady.
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kaylagrl
Guest
That's a really lovely thing to say and you can be my big sister on here
I know it seems as if I was whining before but I really didn't mean to. It's just that I thought I could say what I was feeling here and get some help and support. If all I needed was someone to tell me to do as I am told, I have a houseful of people to get advice from!
Fran when your mom sees she can trust you again Im sure she will let up on you a bit. As I said,you are too old to be spanked. Maybe if you asked your step dad to help you talk to your mom. But that is not appropriate for your age. It is very easy to make a mistake you cant take back,maybe if you tell your mom that you understand that and show her you do she will relax the rules a little. When you get to be a young adult its all about negotiating with your parents, but they have to trust you. I hope all turns out well for you.
I didn't want to go into too much detail about what I did but I don't want everyone thinking I am totally out of control either.
So there was this party I was invited too and Mum said I couldn't go. But I told a lie and said I was going to a friend's house and went to the party anyway. Someone gave me some orange juice but didn't tell me it had vodka in it. I would never have drunk it otherwise but I was sort of all over the place. And I was caught kissing a boy. Nothing else. I know it could have gone further but I wouldn't have done any of that if I was myself. I know it was stupid, I will never do it again, and I know I deserved to be punished. I just think it is all going too far.
Thanks very much. I am trying to talk to them but Mum says I have a lot to prove to her and it is going to take months not one quick sorry
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kaylagrl
Guest
Thanks very much. I am trying to talk to them but Mum says I have a lot to prove to her and it is going to take months not one quick sorry
I think you just surprised her. Teens do silly things. If this is your first big mess up,sounds like it is, you just scared her. I bet if you really show her you understand where you messed up and earn her trust again she may take time off your punishment. Let her cool down, I bet when she sees you're trust worthy again she'll relent. I really think the more you fight it the more she will think you dont understand the seriousness of the situation. Let her know you understand. I bet it will really do a world of good.