I went against the grain and was the only person to vote "yes", apparently. I understand about trust and so forth, but I believe a person must also be realistic (having already been through one marriage in which the other person left for a girlfriend.) And I've heard plenty of stories of husbands who have been abandoned as well, so I'm not trying to paint men as the bad guys at all.
I am also coming from the viewpoint of anticipating that my spouse would ask ME to sign a prenup, which I would do without hesitation as long as we agreed on the terms.
When I was younger, I would have given the same answer as most other posters have given here about it being a matter of trust. But things happen. And the older the I get, the more I've seen happen. I'm not 25 anymore, and if I marry someone around my age or older, he may have something like a 401K that he's worked hard to build up, and I would see that as his alone, unless he decided differently.
My time on CC has had a big impact on my thinking as well. I've read countless stories of men who are bitterly angry at being used for money (and who could blame them for feeling that way,) so I see signing a prenup as saying, "I'm marrying you for YOU and not an income." I would also do it so that NO ONE ELSE (nosy relatives and sweet-faced church people who love to gossip) could say I married him for money, either.
In fact, I might carry a copy of the agreement in my wallet and if anyone ever accused me of marrying for money, I'd tell them, "No, I didn't. In fact, I have the paperwork right here (you idiot)."
A man could call me ugly to my face and I'd find that a lot less insulting than being called a gold digger (which, ironically, I've been called before on CC
.) A long time ago, I went on a first (and only) date with a guy who was an engineer and obviously thought he was hot stuff. When he found out my job isn't nearly as prestigious, there was an immediate sense of disdain in his voice, and I'll never forget that. Obviously, he saw me as a potential blood sucker.
He seemed to relax when I paid for our entire meal (he'd driven an hour. I figured that was fair, and I always try to keep things as fair as possible just SO THAT a man can't say I used him for anything.)
My father raised me to work, plan, and be prepared. I don't need someone else's money. Beyonce declares, "Put a ring on it."
And my hollaback to that is, "And sign the papers (prenup)."
(I am only voicing my OWN opinion here--most others will disagree with me and I completely understand that. I know and respect that different things work for different people.)
By the way, don't be fooled by someone with a supposedly high income, because their amount of debt can be a total game changer. Mr. Engineer confessed in the midst of our conversation that he was close to foreclosing on his house and living paycheck-to-paycheck. I don't have a big, fancy job with a cute title. But I also don't have any debts, either.
And seeing as he'd looked down on me from the very beginning, I saw no point in telling him that. Or anything else.
