PATIENCE
is a virtue
I KNOW it is. And I'm trying. It's just very hard for me right now. Having Tequila put to sleep was very stressful in that I had to work with the weather, and wait for my brother to make a box and dig a hole, THEN wait for him to get a day off to bury her, THEN I had to work with the vet tech's schedule of when he could come out here to do it. I had it scheduled for the Friday after St. Patty's day, but we ended up having to do it two days earlier, because Friday was his wife's bday. So all in all, Tequila and I had seven days left together. Seven days isn't a long time when you're trying to figure out how to let go and ready your heart in such a short time. I wasn't ready, and I'm still not, but I HAD to be, whether I was actually ready or not.
I feel very cheated out of my time with her because it all went down so fast and even on the morning she went, I screwed up saying goodbye.
There's things I wish I had said and done but didn't, because I didn't think of them until afterward.
Fast forward to now. I feel rushed once again, to find a kitten before the major holidays come along. Tequila always had a christmas stocking to open. My birthday's in October, and each day that I have to wait for Samantha to have her kittens is another day that their final release date is getting pushed back. At this rate I'll be lucky if I get one by August. It's hard enough for me right now being alone, I don't wanna be alone on my bday and all the following holidays.
I know God is teaching me patience right now, but it seems he ALWAYS uses pain to do it. :/