Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

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Ugly said:
*sigh... so i'm still in love with my ex. Not missing having 'someone' or anything generic. She's given me a mountain of reasons to not be in love with her. She's a mess. She's making bad decisions now. She seems confused and frustrated about a lot of things. In the past 2 weeks it seemed like there were about 5 times where we almost got back together, but then she changes her mind the next day. Every time it's after i do or say something to express how i feel about her in a really bold or personal way. Then she'll invite me to come visit her. Next day she changes her mind, and often adds in things to make it so i can't discuss it with her. Twice she said she had a date.
She says she changed her mind because she didn't want to 'use me'. Despite spending a few days saying she still had feelings for me, now she says during all of those invites to come see her, she never had those feelings. It's all very frustrating. And she clearly wants me around, though. Sometimes she says she doesn't want me to come out because she doesn't want to lead me on into thinking we might have a chance to get back together.
My counselor, who knows all the details of her, the situation, etc... has always insisted that my ex just needs time. I mean, she says i'm her best friend, that she wants me in her life. She trusts me with every personal and/or gross thing she has to deal with.
But she has this habit of misinterpreting things about me, sticking with what she thinks is true, even when i say it's not, and then holding it against me as a reason to not get back together. I have probably said a dozen time or more, literally, how she keeps doing that.
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If no one's suggested it yet, is it possible that she is simply afraid of the relationship getting too serious? Something like she wants you around but her previous experiences in marriage or serious relationships stir up a reactionary fear and panic. Even if that's a good guess on my part, I don't know if it will make things any easier or help you know what to do. I also suspect you're not going to start getting over her until you cut off contact with her, but when it is time to stick it out and when it is time to give up and cut ties is something I'm not even good at determining in my own relationships. That's all the input I have to give that I think might possibly be useful.
 
Hey Ugly and Tintin. I wanted to apologize for earlier. I really am sorry. I was rude and mean.

I know this isn't an excuse but I haven't been myself lately because of some things going on. I am at a low point in my life. I think it's best I leave CC because I'm just making a fool of myself.
 
MollyConnor said:
Hey Ugly and Tintin. I wanted to apologize for earlier. I really am sorry. I was rude and mean.

I know this isn't an excuse but I haven't been myself lately because of some things going on. I am at a low point in my life. I think it's best I leave CC because I'm just making a fool of myself.
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Nooooooooooo. I hope you don't leave. :( I don't think you were rude or mean or sound like a fool...that's nonsense.
 
MollyConnor said:
Hey Ugly and Tintin. I wanted to apologize for earlier. I really am sorry. I was rude and mean.

I know this isn't an excuse but I haven't been myself lately because of some things going on. I am at a low point in my life. I think it's best I leave CC because I'm just making a fool of myself.
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Everyone is allowed bad days every once in a while. Take some time off to attend to real life if you need to, but don't just pack up and go because life got the better of you for a time. We gotta help each other through those kinds of things, not run off alone where it's easy for the enemy to take us out.
 
cinder said:
If no one's suggested it yet, is it possible that she is simply afraid of the relationship getting too serious? Something like she wants you around but her previous experiences in marriage or serious relationships stir up a reactionary fear and panic. Even if that's a good guess on my part, I don't know if it will make things any easier or help you know what to do. I also suspect you're not going to start getting over her until you cut off contact with her, but when it is time to stick it out and when it is time to give up and cut ties is something I'm not even good at determining in my own relationships. That's all the input I have to give that I think might possibly be useful.
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This seems very plausible. I believe this is what happened to me in my one and only relationship. Fear is a powerful thing.
 
MollyConnor said:
Hey Ugly and Tintin. I wanted to apologize for earlier. I really am sorry. I was rude and mean.

I know this isn't an excuse but I haven't been myself lately because of some things going on. I am at a low point in my life. I think it's best I leave CC because I'm just making a fool of myself.
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Thank you, Molly. I don't know what's going on in your life, but know I'll be praying for you.
 
cinder said:
If no one's suggested it yet, is it possible that she is simply afraid of the relationship getting too serious? Something like she wants you around but her previous experiences in marriage or serious relationships stir up a reactionary fear and panic. Even if that's a good guess on my part, I don't know if it will make things any easier or help you know what to do. I also suspect you're not going to start getting over her until you cut off contact with her, but when it is time to stick it out and when it is time to give up and cut ties is something I'm not even good at determining in my own relationships. That's all the input I have to give that I think might possibly be useful.
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Well, her goal is to get married. That's why she does dates all the time. Dating apps. Goes on a couple dates a month, maybe more than i know. *shrug All in order to find a good man. She actually pushed a bit for us to get married sooner, but i told her i would propose, but not before we dated a year.
And as i stated, i think God has me staying, so to walk would be disobedient.
 
Ugly said:
Well, his dad is married, with a new wife, and she helps raise the boy. So he knows one day he may have another man in his life helping to raise his son. I met him once, and he was friendly enough to me. Met his brother, mother, wife as well. They were all friendly towards me.

This is not the first single mom i've dated. So i'm aware of the concept of helping to raise someone else's kids. My dad did the same thing. My mom had 3 kids from another marriage. She died 20 years go, and he still views them as his own children. So that's the example i grew up with.
Well, i liked to think i'd have a positive affect on his life. His family has a lot of dysfunction. So i thought i might be able to bring some calmness and stability to his, and his moms life. I was helping her to learn better ways of dealing with him in a disciplinary role. As a result i sometimes had to point out when she wasn't listening and overreacting. Or when she wasn't doing enough. Some of her issues makes it hard for her to deal with such things in a right manner.
He has a father with a wife, two grandmothers. So not sure how likely it is i'd end up taking care of him. But i'm aware it's possible. I would do what i had to do, the best i was able, to raise him if it came to that.
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I see, well that sounds pretty cool the guy is at least cool with you, is cool with the situation were you guys to hook back up, and that you both are cool enough to let him also still be part of his child's life then. If I recall correctly this woman is on CC or was, apologies if wrong. I like you sir Ugles (don't feel comfortable calling you Ugly, please no offense at Ugles lol.) I liked her too though didn't get to know her much obviously, even for online, but I thought she seemed a nice lady and I'd pray for the best for both of you no matter what your situation be together or not. I'll stand by that. This is a hard judgement call, but I think you are moreso lovesick for the woman, I am not meaning to feel harsh, I know what it is to pine away in loneliness single. The main difference in your situation and my close friend's is that he wants to be with the woman for a large part because of her son, and for that he did not care about the bearing with some of the problems she has.

If you feel God wants you to be with her, then no one can stop that from happening, and I wouldn't, but perhaps it is not to be the heart is a strange thing, or if it is to be perhaps it's not just her problems, but that you need to grow some, not that I think you got problems massive or anything, but you have to prepare more for kind of a commitment that is more than just to the woman, but also to the child, the child's father and other wife and siblings and menial life dramas bound to arise from it. If you can bear it I wish you the best of course, if you cannot and walk away from it I find no fault in you, for I'd still hope that God use that as a way to help you and strengthen you both. I wish you and her best in Jesus whether you try to work it out or if you go your separate ways.

And I cannot say much more on this apologies for the spiel again or if seeming intrusive, praise Jesus and may God comfort your heart for now no matter what is to be with this.
 
MollyConnor said:
Hey Ugly and Tintin. I wanted to apologize for earlier. I really am sorry. I was rude and mean.

I know this isn't an excuse but I haven't been myself lately because of some things going on. I am at a low point in my life. I think it's best I leave CC because I'm just making a fool of myself.
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Wow! If you only knew what I just spent
the last hour or so typing to someone,
and I sent it, and just happened to come to this thread next.

I don't know all of what went on,
I'm just picking it up here, but please, Molly,
I know your heart, and I know ugly
and tintin too, please don't leave.

I really believe our Savior Jesus
is orchestrating alot of things
in alot of our hearts and lives lately,
with the main purpose of bringing us
all closer together, to Him, and to each other.

Even more, and listen everyone,
now is the time we as christians,
as brothers and sisters in Christ,
need to be pulling for each other,
supporting each other, praying for and
encouraging each other in the faith, and love.

We all know what the world is becoming.....
yet we have the True and Living God and Savior
as our Father and our Friend,
and we have each other,
(despite our differences and minor squabbles,
we're family, and all sinners saved by grace, remember?)
and what we have, the world doesn't know,
yet desperately needs.

So, when these times of frustration hit,
that's not the time to quit,
but to get more resolved that we're
not going to give in to that dastardly enemy
of our souls, and let him separate us,
but we're going to lift the banner
of our Savior Jesus even higher,
and remember that for us,
there is no more condemnation,
it is God that justifies us,
and we can say with confidence,
'Thanks be to God,
which gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ',
and move onward and upward with joy,
looking unto Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith.

Molly, Zero, Ugly, Tintin, and a thousand others
here I can't even name right now...
just, gosh, if you only knew...
hang in there, and God bless you,
God bless you so very, Very Much!
 
I don't know what's going on, but that was an excellent post. Thank you, brother! You certainly have the gift of encouragement. God bless you!
 
I just have one thing to say about this thread so far... (and this is not directed at Molly)

125918-stop-whining-gif-Imgur-gfycat-4CHz.gif
 
[video=youtube;6yuxIlCVjVk]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yuxIlCVjVk[/video]
I love Rosie.
 
Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
 
one of the guys that started making heavy water drank some to prove it wasn't poisonous
he survided
but I still don't think I'll try it
 
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